im 16 n i was preagnant wit my boyfriends child until my mom made me get an abortion now he said its my fault the baby is dead n that i could have did something..like i could have moved out but the thing is i want to go to college n im inbetween switchin schools n i canr get into another school without my mom...n my dad is about to die so i cant mve in with him n he aint even tell his mom so i cant move in with him n he told my mom he wasn't ready for a baby but he told me different n made me feel worse than i already did...so my question is should i stay with him n take this from him or leave n is it really my fault?????
2007-01-06 13:08:01 · 21 answers · asked by dj. twizz f 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Of course its your fault. You killed your baby. Your mother didn't hold a gun to your head and force you to abort. You made your choice and are blaming her to make yourself feel less guilty. If you want college, then quit having sex. Its not fair to the child or your partner to abort just because your plans get messed up.
Tell him you were told he was scared and not ready to be a Dad. Tell him you didn't want a kid right now because you want college. Own up to your part in this and talk to each other.Its easy for him to yell and fuss, he wasn't the one that was pregnant. Teen guys run all the time when they hear that their girl is preggy. So you were both scared, its normal. Talk thinks out with him, then decide what is next. You gotta take better care of yourself. Not having sex is the best way to keep yourself safe ( no babies, no abortions, no STD's) and your college dreams intact.
2007-01-06 13:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by Velken 7 · 1⤊ 7⤋
i am sorry that you are dealing with this now. it looks like you are learning some life lessons right now....
follow your heart. you need to learn from your mistakes. don't blame your mom for everything. realize that you made the decision to have unprotected sex and you made the decision to choose your current life and school over the baby. i am not saying what is right or wrong or what i would do but i am just pointing out that those are the decisions that YOU made.
if your not happy with your boyfriend then don't stay with him, but realize that if you love him, do. he is going to be hurt and angry at EVERYONE. he lost his baby. being young or not, loss still hurts.
being married is hard work and when you do something to anger or hurt the other person you have to work through it together - you can't just leave when it gets tough.
try to get through this together. you need each other. you both probably need some professional counseling. i am sure your schools have someone qualified.
don't stay in a relationship that is abusive or without love. it isn't worth it.
good luck. SD
2007-01-06 14:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by SD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darl sorry to say it but the choice to have abortion is yours, yes your mum probably strongly pushed you but the final decesion was yours. If you want to be able to move on from this then you first need to take responsibility for your part in what has happened.
I am a uni student and about to be a Single mum there is always a solution. Things always work out how they are suppose and maybe it was better to do what you done. You do sound very immature. Sorry to hear about your dad
As for the guy if he is unsupportive dump him. He will never be there for you if he isn't now.
The abortion will always play on your mind and the guilt will always in some form be there. It is up to you to finish school now and go to colloge prove to yourself that the abortion was for nothing. You owe it to that baby to compleate your plans.
Good Luck.
2007-01-06 14:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by angelicrulz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave, it simple. You are so young and shouldn't have to deal with these problems yet. You've already gone through too much concerning him and hes hardly supportive of what you are going through. Let no one bring you down. There is someone out there for you. Next time use protection to protect yourself from the other person. You have much living to do before you need to worry about babies let alone a disease you may not be able to ever get rid of. Good Luck and keep your head held high always.
2007-01-06 13:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by Suzan I 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will most likely feel guilty all your life and he certainly isn't helping anything. What was he suggesting you do ? We have a saying WWJD = WHAT WOULD JESUS DO ??
I feel so sorry that you are living with your boyfriend, that is for marriage. No I don't think you should stay with him. You may get pregnant again. You are not mature enough to be making babies. and then destroying them. Clean up your act and go to school. if that is your plan. Be somebody and hold your head high. May you be granted forgiveness and peace. Your future is ahead of you~
2007-01-06 13:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would honestly leave him.
Your mom didn't "make you". You made the decision on your own. You allowed it to happen. Please, accept that you are responsible for your own actions. No one can force or make you. You decided that you were not able to have a baby as you have your future to get in lined so you can have children in the future and able to provide to them.
If you believe abortion was the best option, then that is your choice and no one should judge you on that.
He should of been involved in the decision and he is feeling "ignored" on that. I feel that is why he is placing fault on you as he is rebelling.
2007-01-06 20:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you made a decision that is going to affect you negatively for the rest of your life. It hurts and it will continue to hurt. You need counseling from a professional.
As far as your b/f. . . he is obviously callous but also very hurt. You destroyed his child (and yours). He is reacting to that and neither of you need that. He needs counseling too.
You both made bad choices. First, to have sex period is WRONG before you get married. No garbage here, no excuses, it is WRONG. Second of all, you could have given the baby life through an adoptive family, but since the choice has been made you have to go on with life.
Go your seperate ways.
Your best bet is to get into college. . . forget about guys and work hard. Get your degree, then deal with a social life. Anything beyond that will undoubtedly get you in trouble as you will be very likely to fall into the same trap again . . . namely, having sex to make you feel loved (love will have nothing to do with it), and possibly getting pregnant again and going through this destructive behavior again.
Get help for yourself and urge him to do the same and go on with life. Your life CAN amount to something good IF you follow through.
2007-01-06 14:35:21 · answer #7 · answered by snddupree 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell your boyfriend to shut it, since he didnt even have to guts to tell his parents about the baby and find a new boyfriend. its not your fault, you really had no choice since you are under 18 and i know you probably dont wanna hear it but it was probably for the best, 16 is too young to be a mom
2007-01-06 15:09:56 · answer #8 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could have divorced your parents but I got pregnant when I was 17 but I had a miscarriage. The baby is dead now and there isn't anything you can do about it. But you should quit having sex and be single.
2007-01-06 14:31:26 · answer #9 · answered by morgan_loves_polina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't have to get an abortion. You have parental rights, and you signed the papers, didn't you? It IS YOUR fault, not your moms, because you let them kill the baby. If they didn't have your consent before killing your baby, then it was illegal and you and your boyfriend have rights to sew them. Congrats, you just killed your own child.
2007-01-07 03:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look dear it sounds to me like you did what was best for you. Tell him to shut up about it. He didnt have a home for you and a baby, he didnt have a job to support both of you, he didnt offer anything to help you and now he blames you!! No you dont have to take that from him.
2007-01-06 17:36:54 · answer #11 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋