What is the trick to forgiving and forgetting?

Answer 1

Forgiveness comes easy when we realize its harmful effects of ourselves, not only do we not heal from our past wounds and hurts, we also start inflicting them of others and there by start another cycle of pain for our self like the previous one.

According to Newton’s third law of Motion or simply the ancient theory of Karma, we have all created our present experiences through our thoughts, actions and intentions. So the best way out would be to choose wisely now, knowing the consequences well enough of our past Karma. If we want love and peace in life, make sure you give out just that in thoughts, actions and intentions, as they are creating our future experiences right now.

Knowing this it is easy to understand how our every hurt that we hurt of a painful experience is simply a consequence of our own action or actions in the past, so really there are no victims in the world, only bearers of harsh consequences created by us in the past.

Now we can understand why do we find it so difficult to forgive others as we really are blaming others for our hurts though really we have only done that to ourselves. Taking responsibility of our experiences is the first step towards freeing ourselves from the past.

No wonder, people who have hard time forgiving others in fact have an equally hard time forgiving themselves, as they really are angry at themselves for allow that to happen to themselves. This self-hate then shows up every where in life, as excessive self-criticism, or seething sarcasm towards others.

Even extreme self control measures are all reflection of a deep seated self-hated which comes out ostensible self correcting measures.

Really we only need to free ourselves from our own action.

Knowing all this we can understand the need to clear ourselves of the energies of the past, when we really want to start afresh in life.

And the best way to do that is by forgiving, first ourselves for creating those experience and then others for choosing to give it back to us.

Really speaking we are only 'giving' ourselves the chance to start afresh.

Because by having one foot in the past, you can never move fast into the future you will only be wobbly and moving back and forth between old energy and thought patterns that created your past experiences in the first place, so choose the future over the past, clear yourself up now!

Forgetting comes naturally once we no longer need the past to remind us of what we need to learn from it, and then we can release all the energies of that particular experience with gratitude and humility, back to the universe.

Forgiveness is freedom.

Answer 2

I don't think there is really a "trick" to forgiving someone, or forgetting. It's about being a compassionate person, and it takes the realization that the past is the past. If you try too desperately to forgive someone and give yourself a false sense of security by thinking you have forgiven someone and you really haven't, it creates more problems.

Forgiveness is a difficult thing for a lot of people, it's something that has to come naturally, and can't be forced. It might take time.

Answer 3

bit of a profound question!! no, I never forgive and forget. Well, for the big things anyway. I could never forgive some of the people who have hurt me in the past, and I could certainly never forget. However, that having been said, I could forgive and forget if it was just a joke, or something really small, that hardly effected me, and didn't hurt anyone else. I think I probably do always forget to forgive... I know I shouldn't, but.... at least I'm admitting it!! =D

Answer 4

The trick is to forgive but never to forget. When it comes to forgiveness there is no trick. If you really want to forgive some one for their trespass you must place yourself in that persons position and ask yourself. If the shoe was on the other foot, would you want to be forgiven, not just to say, that you are forgiven but to truly be forgiven? The second part of forgiveness is to allow yourself to feel whatever hurt you are feeling and to let the other person know exactly how you feel, if this person listens to you and validates your hurt feelings then they are worth your forgiveness. Never forget because if you did, then you would not have learned anything from the experience.

Answer 5

Someone I know once said, "it easy to forgive, not so so easy to forget."
Forgiving is healthy, and many times the right thing to do. But forgetting, can be difficult. I say, start with forgiving the person for the wrong committed, and you're 80% there. If you've forgiven them, you can move forward, and the deal with forgetting down the road.

Answer 6

There is an African tribe that believes that when someone is murdered by another, the tribe would tie up the offender and throw him/her into the river. The family of the murdered individual had the option of a) letting the culprit die or b) jumping in and saving the culprit. Invarably they would jump in and rescue the drowning individual as they believed that they would not be "at peace" if they let him drown. but would be if they saved him. The same thing here. It is not easy to forgive and forget. However, it helps a great deal if you (I) do something good for/to the person who offended you. It does help.

Answer 7

Not to have something happen that you have to forgive or forget.
They say you can do it, but I dont see how. For one thing, you will never forget, it will always be in the back of your mind, so if you never forget it, then how can you be
forgiving.

Answer 8

perspective.

Time gives you perspective, and you can speed up the process if you know about that.

It's kind of like mourning the dead ... you don't ever really get over the pain of loss, but after you suffer long enough with every thought of your loss, you get so accustomed to the fact that you'll never see the person again, that you finally accept it. Well, you finally accept that what someone did, they did, and you realize that accepting it and moving on is to your advantage ... the sooner, the better; and forgiving the person is also to your advantage. A few rounds of being screwed over, and you start to anticipate it ... you start to find it easier to forgive and forget.

Answer 9

This is a difficult question for me because I can hold on to a grudge for a long time. I am by no means religious but I find that meditating and praying about what is bothering me really helps. It's like telling a close friend what is wrong and then you can release the bad feelings to them and not carry around so much negativity. There are times when I have to pray a few times before I get peace but it always comes! Life really is too short to hold on to something that will never make you happy. I hope you find what you are looking for. Peace!

Answer 10

TIME and then giving you self permission ,It didn't happen over night and it won't - just happen - give yourself time and patience,hurt and pain we all know run's deep - you'll soon ease in to forgiving - it can't be rushed - Forgetting - Now, that's a horse of a different color - For me I don't want to totally forget - that way I 'll be more aware later on down the road -- Lot's of Luck to you - -- Pattijo

Answer 11

You forgive, because whether or not the one who wronged you apologizes to you; you realize you have done wrong also, perhaps you never got caught or no one ever knew, but you and God do. Therefore the only difference between you and whoever harmed or wronged you, is that they got caught at it or called on it, you have to forgive if you wish to be forgiven according to Gods word, because if you won't forgive your brother than why should God forgive you? Also the anger and desire for revenge will make you bitter and unable to move on; in peace and love, dwelling in anger and resentment will destroy you. You never forget, but God will give you the grace to put it away when it shows its ugly face, ask Him and he will give you the grace to forgive and live at peace. The desire for myself is to live as peaceably as I can with the person who has wronged me. Myself, I'm praying others will do the same for me.