Why do people attempt to change to please others and not because they themselves feel it is necessary?

Question

A change in attitude, dressing, the way you walk, reduce your weight, put on some weight, undergo cosmetic surgery, et al.

After making these changes, did you feel happier and more fulfilled or did you become miserable instead? Was your life changed for the better or worse?

Answer 1

I think that the capitalistic society we live in requires us to be somewhat uniform so that their advertising gimmicks can work. I do not think that conforming to societal pressures for reasons other than the fact that you genuinely want to, leads to happiness. I can't imagine any other happiness or state of content other than the one that you experience by being your authentic self.

Answer 2

Because part of the way we perceive ourselves is due to the way others perceive us. We can't help but be affected one way or another for good or ill. We hope to change the way people respond to us by changing what we perceive as a barrier.

Some of the examples you list are rather superficial, like cosmetic surgery but a change in attitude is a different thing. For example, if a person tends to be "gloom and doom" all the time, people are going to avoid him or her. If said person tries to be more upbeat, then others may respond favorably to that.

I think you're really trying to ask if we SHOULD change ourselves to please others, rather than why we do. That's another question altogether.

Answer 3

Conformity, Insecurity.. They want to be liked or don't want to be ourside the "Norm".