Should I leave?

Question

My husband cheated on me 2 years ago. Now I catch him watching porn, nearly every day. He completely lies about it and then gets mad at me. He manipulates my children - for example, my 14 year old daughter is told by him that she will fail and be a failure in life unless she changes her opinions to match his and changes her personality. (I think she is a mature, reposible wonderful girl.) He pushed my 12 year old son, and he fell on the floor. My son said it did hurt and he is scared of him, but my husband got mad at me when I questioned him about it and said I completely don't understnad, and he only tried to move him out of the way. He easily loses his temper, but has never hit anyone. He lies all the time too. He can be sweet one minute, then talks like a bully the next. My daughter is afraid too. Both kids have have walked out of their rooms to see nasty images on TV he was watching. He says "I was just flipping through the channels." Then he gets mad at me for accusing

Answer 1

Your husband's behavior is not only extremely inappropriate, but very abusive, as well. The lying, cheating, yelling, etc. are all things that are uncharacteristic of a good and stable marriage/family (which I am sure is something that you aspire to) and/or a good husband/wife. With that said, and for your childrens sake, it would definitely be best if you and your spouse separated for a while--at least, until he gets some psychological counseling and/or you decide to end the marriage.

Answer 2

I think you are the only one that can really answer that question. The thing is what kind of environment do you wish your children to be raised in. A healthy environment or one that if fearful? At times we must find the strength and courage to do what is right for us and our children even though it may not be popular with the other partner. You and your children both deserve to live in a safe environment that is both physically, mentally and emotionally nurturing. Find a way to keep you and your children safe. You can also try and get to the bottom of why your husband has this type of behavior. If after having a serious talk and letting him know the negative effects his behavior and actions has on you and your children and he does not make some kind of effort to change, then find the strength to do what is best for you and your children. All the Best!

Answer 3

I just answered a question for your daughter--I s, so sure it was her and if its not you and your family have a parallel family --doing the same exact hings from the porn to the mental abuse to the pushing of the son--I told her to talk to you and so you know how scared she is for you and her brother and herself--I told her to help you to decide to go to a safer place to live so your husband could possibly get help--LEAVE before there is more hurt inflicted--do it for you and your children they deserve better and so do you-- Here is the question I answered for the little gal I told you about ----She goes by Motocross Girl I'm worried about my dad.?
I found out that my dad watches porn and he cheated on my mom and he mentally abuses me and he lies ALL the time about stupid stuff that makes no difference if he lied about it or not. He's already pushed my 12 year old brother down twice. Should I worry that he might hurt me some day?

So what do you think?? Your daughter?? I think so and I also think you know now what to do
God Bless you and your children--

Answer 4

I would have left him 2 years ago if I were you. It's probably only a matter of time before he cheats on you again anyway. Don't wait for it to happen again. The porn thing sounds like a sick obsession....he is clearly not happy with you or his life if he treats you and your kids that way and is watching porn all the time. Save yourself the future heartache and leave him now. You could always give couples counseling a try...or even talk to a church pastor about it....but it sounds like your husband is a stubborn guy and wouldn't go to counseling even if you tried. Maybe if he comes home and finds that you have packed all of your stuff and the kids stuff and moved out....he will open his eyes and see how blessed he is to have a good wife and family...if not...file for divorce. Let him know you aren't messing around and you really do intend to leave him then do it.

Answer 5

I come from a Christian background, so take this advise any way you want. I don't believe in divorce and I think that nothing is beyond repair yet, however he is not what he needs to be, better yet he is lots of what he shouldn't be.
I think for the time being you need to get the kids out of there, this is no situation for them to live in. Just ask yourself if your daughter came to you with this info about her husband what would you tell her. There is definatly a need for some counseling, and I would not move back in until you can see the improvement that is necessary. He needs to see the problems and want to change things. PLEASE also let your kids vent some of their feelings, they know what is going on and are keeping it in because they love you and don't want to hurt you.

Answer 6

Let's look at this rationally.....watches porn at home, nearly every day, manipulates children, tells daughter she will be a failure, pushed son down, loses his temper easily, lies all the time, kids are afraid of him, nasty images on tv, gets mad at you, has cheated on YOU...... ..."should you leave???? By all means, YES, you should!! Your kids don't deserve this lifestyle, and neither do you!!

Answer 7

If your children are afraid of him then that is a good sign that he has changed and it is not for the good. If you stay with him and your children see this they will think that it is okay. Do you want your daughter to end up with someone like this or your son to be like that? There are many ways to get help as a single mother.

Answer 8

yeah u should leave him ( one of my family members was with a guy and they got married when she was graduating from highschool and had a baby boy and a year later had a girl and know their son is 3 and their daughter is 2 and her husband told their sun he acts like a girl because he started crying when they told him no and the boy didnt know better and the dad wouldnt ever change his daughters dipper because she was a girl and wouldnt ever buy her anything or play with her because she was a girl and watches porn all the time and makes his kids go in their room so he could have time to watch it and when his wife went to work she told him to feed the kids and he said okay and he made them some roman noodles and put them in 2 bowls and gave them to them on the kitchen floor and she is scared to leave him so leave him while you can )

Answer 9

I answered your other question before I read this one. He sounds much worse to me now. If you have accepted and gotten over him cheating on you, then so be it. Some people don't feel that breaking a family up is worth it and just get over the cheating spouse. That's all up to you. The porn and verbal abuse should be eliminated. Give him an ultimatum.

Answer 10

What do your children want? If he's hurting them weither it be mental or physical, perhaps their opinion should come first. I've been where you are, I'm now happily divorced and ingaged to a great guy. It truely sounds like he's a very shallow guy, and shallow guys never change! Give it a good thought, and go with your heart!! I Wish you the Best!