My son got married in 2005. Until then he was always with us on Christmas in CA. In 2004 he got engaged at Christmas and asked that we would come there. We did.Sometime after that he told us he would have to alternate Christmas with us. We totally understood. LY we went the week before to see him and his wife. This year thinking it was our turn we made plans to spend Christmas in Boston (3000 miles away from our home). When we got here we were told they couldn't spend Christmas with us as she had a bigger family. Yesterday he told me, we can no longer alternate Christmas that he said that several years ago and I shouldn't expect him to stick to it.
2007-01-06 12:07:02 · 8 answers · asked by JanJan 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
I suddenly had this horrible image of flow charts on a magic marker board so I guess we should try to keep it simple. Some possibilities: Everybody (both sets of parents) should spent every Christmas with the couple. This may mean that everyone has to meet in Boston or that everyone has to meet in Calif. Alternatively, the couple can spend part of the Christmas season with one set of parents and another part of the Christmas season with the other set of parents. Yup, somehow, a fair way has to be used to determine where the couple will spend Christmas day. I cannot fathom your experience where you flew all the way to Boston and true to Christmas tradition, you were told that there was no room in the inn. Lemme guess, they put you in the stable with the donkey and the sheep. The newlyweds should have given you their bed to sleep in and they could sleep on the floor. The newlyweds need to try harder to include EVERYBODY at Christmastime.
2007-01-06 16:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Santa C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your story isn't quite clear so I could be wrong, but I somehow get the feeling this is your daughter-in-law telling your son the way it's gonna be...and he's just going along with it instead of standing up to her. Sounds like your daughter-in-law has your son by the short n' curlies. How sad! There is only one right answer here: alternate!
My wife and I have been together for 11 years, and married for 3 years...and it's never been a problem. Our families live nearby, so we spend Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas Day with her family, Thanksgiving with my family, Easter with her family, etc, etc. I know she would never do this, BUT IF she tried to tell me we couldn't see my family on holidays because "her family was bigger", I'd die laughing! Tell your son to be a man and do the right thing.
2007-01-06 12:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by The Man In The Box 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your comments are a little unclear. If I read this right, you went to Boston to celebrate the holiday with your son and daughter-in-law and were told when you arrived that you had overstepped your bounds and were not welcome. Did you go to Boston without discussing it first with your son and daughter-in-law? My kids only live 1.5 hours away and we always talk weeks or months ahead of time about what we'll be doing. I think you left some information out. And unless you and/or your husband make yourselves terribly unpleasant, why didn't your kids just invite you to dinner with the other family? We had people at our place for Christmas that we had never met and they were quite welcome. Something isn't right with your story or you left a big detail out.
2007-01-06 12:23:21 · answer #3 · answered by hairdvs 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I went with the aid of that myself and then i got here across the advantages.the 1st 3 hundred and sixty 5 days I went out with friends and misbehaved one night ,that became for me,first unfastened week end I had in years ,the 2nd day I repainted the youngsters room,post new border,curtains and it only made me experience greater beneficial understanding i became doing something for them ,additionally no paint have been given spilled on the carpet and no ornamental hand prints with the aid of out the homestead.and the better area? after Christmas sales!!!!!!spend 50 or a hundred funds and get 1000's of greenbacks worth of toy's,circulate homestead wrap them ,i actually like having the previous due Christmas now ,because of the fact i will do so lots greater for them . playstation .wrapping paper would be virtually unfastened!!
2016-10-30 04:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very sorry to hear that.
My cousin celebrates every other year with her family and his the alternate.
I suppose best you can do is speak honestly from the heart to your son. You can tell him how meaningful it is to see him, after all those years of Christmases past. And if the time comes for Grandchildren how you need to share the experiences with them as you did with your son growing up.
Good luck.
2007-01-06 12:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by Marge Simpson 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are all friends GO to the Holy Land together and if not christmas eve at one set of parents and then christmas day at the other set of parents and midnight mass if all the same faith all go to midnight mass together.
2007-01-06 12:11:48 · answer #6 · answered by Gypsy Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very difficault when people are put in this situation. They can't please every one, but they could do a better job. Try to understand that he is probably feeling alot of pressure one way or another and he is just trying to pick the easiest path (the path that will not put him in the dog house).
2007-01-06 12:20:17 · answer #7 · answered by NCSMALLBIZ.COM 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
we try to alternate,but feelings still are hurt,which make holidays a pain
2007-01-06 12:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by Linda C 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋