Is it better to divorce when my daughter is young (3) or to wait till she is old enough to understand?
2007-01-06 11:54:10 · 25 answers · asked by Bella G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I want to make it easy on her as possible if i choose to divorce?
2007-01-06 11:56:34 · update #1
Yes they notice stuff thats happening........
2007-01-06 11:55:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never easy for a child at any age - they'll notice one parent or another is missing. They notice more than you give them credit for. No age is ever good for a divorce. BUT, if you can maintain some kind of normality, and a relationship with your ex for the sake of your child - then thatll help a lot. Don't slag off your partner, allow access and make the situation as loving and caring as you can, then if the child knows they are loved by both parties, you can tell them at a later age (when they can understand) why you split up, and they'll understand - and possibly love you more for giving them a positive and grown up attitude to relationships. Children understand so much, and are hurt so easily - try to be reasinable for thier sake. No matter what the reason for the split.
2007-01-06 11:59:54 · answer #2 · answered by sharon r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not stay married to keep your daughter happy. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and then they got remarried to each other to make it better for me, but it made it worse for them because my mom no longer loved my dad and I believe my dad was cheating on my mom with my current step-mom. They stayed married the second time around less than 2 years.
The stress that is in the home from the fighting and what not does more harm to your daughter than just going your own separate way. I was about 12 years old when my mom sat me down to talk about my parents relationship.
My mom was very bitter towards my dad and voiced it ALL the time and I hated her for that for years, so do NOT dog your ex in front of your daughter at any age. Try to point out the good things about him once she is older and she will appreciate it.
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God Bless
2007-01-06 12:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by LS 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes she will notice but she is much more likely to recover from it while she is 3 than if you wait till she is older. Once she is older she has an attachement and memories that a 3 year old does not have. She will feel betrayed and hurt in a way that a 3 year old will not. Do it now.
2007-01-06 12:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 years old is the worst possible age. This is when they learn most of there emotional and reasoning skills. Get divorced if you have to, try to make it as easy as possible for the child. My youngest was 3 when we got divorced, it really messed him up. The 8 year old took it a little better.
2007-01-06 11:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes a 3 year old will notice, They may not understand the situation but they will most definitely notice.If you want to get a divorce then you shouldn't wait if you stay in a relationship you don't want to be in it may have very bad effects of the child,just try to keep it a pleasant experience for her.
2007-01-06 11:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A child that small doesn't know it is called divorce.
What they do know is, someone is missing. Even if you try to explain it, their little minds can't comprehend it. It's best to explain it this way.....mommy or daddy are going to live in different houses.....But you will always be OUR little girl who we LOVE VERY MUCH. Only when they get older do you need to do a better job of making them understand . With the same principal......WE LOVE YOU! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! YOU ARE STILL OUR LITTLE GIRL.
Waiting or not waiting has nothing to do with the fact that everyone involved will be out of the tension brought on by the hostilities of a broken relationship.
What ever you decide GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-06 12:06:24 · answer #7 · answered by LucySD 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids were that young and fortunately dont remember the divorce. Unfortunately though, they dont remember the family either.
Having said that, it depends on how happy the family is together. My parents got divorced when I was 12 and I remember every horrible moment of the crying, yelling, cursing and money problems. It dragged on and it was horrible. Better to get it over with when they are young if your goin to do it.
2007-01-06 11:59:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The younger they are when you get a divorce, the better it is for the children. At 3, she knows Mommy and Daddy, but it will affect her less if you do it now, than say at 6 years old. She will "notice" , yes, but she will adjust.
2007-01-06 11:58:33 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh--yeah she is going to notice!
But staying in a miserable relationship is going to not make things better. The fighting isn't very stable for your little girl either.
I would reccommend seeing a counselor if only to be able to open the lines of communication between you two. Sometimes when you have stopped listening counseling can make a difference between being miserable and being fairly content for now.
2007-01-06 12:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by Missy Lyons 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A 3 yr old won't notice "divorce" they will only notice the absence of the other parent. For your child's sake, I hope you can work it out. broken homes are hard on a child, no matter what age they are.
2007-01-06 12:00:01 · answer #11 · answered by Robin H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋