Is it wrong for a guy to tell a girl how he really feels even though she is taken?

Question

This again is related to my past two questions on Yahoo! Answers. I fell for my next door neighbor who is a beautiful 25 year old Malaysian woman. And I am a 20 year old Chinese man who so happens to co-own the house she is living in with three other roommates. I've had several one on one conversations with her and they were what brought me closer to her spiritually. We've had good times talking to each other. But ever since she told me she was married but was having some problems with her husband, everything changed. She don't see each other no more despite the fact she lives a couple feet away from me. Things got different after she told me about the marriage and her awkwardness towards my age. But to me, age is just a number and there lies no significant values behind it. If she is worried about me not being able to offer her security, then she has got it wrong. I can protect her on all levels. So my problem is, I can't stop thinking about her still. Should I tell her how I feel?

So do you guys think it is best for me to cut off all connections with her like for instance, no longer speak or see her? Even though we haven't seen each other for more than a month now.

If there is anyone who is left in confusion on what type of "problems" are occuring between her husband and her then I can't really tell you. I have no idea on how large the magnitude of the problem is. She once told me she was trying to get out of a relationship or marriage then a week after she told me she was trying to work things out with her husband. So either she is deceiving me making my head twist and turn like a office chair or she is in a confused state.

She is living alone and not with her husband obviously. If she was living with her husband she wouldn't be living next door to my house with three other strangers now would she?

Answer 1

I bet she already knows how you feel and is having difficulty dealing with it, hence staying away from you. There are other women, even other beautiful 25 year old Malaysian women. Age isn't the issue but, for whatever reason, despite their problems, she hasn't left her husband. I'd say leave it alone... she might share the details of your conversation with her husband when they are getting along, but leave out the bits where she encouraged you. If you feel you must tell her how you feel, be brief and ask for an answer right away and then accept it if it's 'no.' She might be attracted to you but unwilling to leave an established relationship. Keep looking and you'll find a spiritual connection elsewhere... I just know it. Best of luck,
N

Answer 2

I don't know if "wrong" or "right" is the way to frame the issue. What is the point? - would be a better question to ask. Do you REALLY feel it is worth it to go after a woman who's already taken? From your question, it's not clear what kind of "problems" she is having with her husband; do they not live together, are they getting divorced? If they're on their way to divorce, then she's not really "taken" anymore, and you could possibly ask her out. But you have to respect her wishes if she says no, whatever the reason might be. "Age is just a number" is a bunch of BS. It may be true when you're talking about one-night stands or short-term flings, but it becomes important when one's looking for a long-term partner. Age might not matter much in and of itself, but it does make a difference taken in the larger context, together with other factors. Good luck.

Answer 3

If she is married Don't be the cause for a marriage to break up. that would be wrong and very unfair to her husband. If she isn't happy with him then she needs to be a woman about it and tell him and ask for a divorce or just go file for one....instead of fooling around with you behind her husband's back. Since she is not living without her husband in the same house...I take it they are separated?....maybe you should just come right out and ask her what her relationship status is....is she married? getting divorced? separated? etc. ask her ....if she is just looking to have sex and screw around but stay married to him then move on.

Answer 4

Taryn, do your self a want and tell him! He could such as you yet maybe thinks which you do in comparison to him back. subsequently, he tries to make certain you purely as a pal. He likes your friendship and does not desire to destroy it. I handed off to observe the type you mentioned that in case you informed him you will possibly "get it off your chest." So, i'm assuming that it particularly is bothering you and which you will possibly experience very good in case you informed him. elect what your heart tells you. I propose, you will not at all comprehend if he's for you in case you do no longer attempt. provide existence a gamble. call him and tell him the type you experience for him. don't be shocked if he tells you he feels the comparable way for you. maybe he does not like the girl as much as he likes you. He made out with you two times. Plus, a candy guy like the single we are speaking approximately best now does not merely kiss you because of the fact of no reason in any respect, and then forget approximately approximately you. good success. i particularly desire you persevere with my suggestion :)

Answer 5

You sound very sweet.

Tell her how you feel. although recognize she is still married. and could quite possibly not be ready to have such things in her life. at the least you would make a great friend. yes you are younger, and usually it is the woman who is younger and the man older. i am with someone who is a month younger than me. ans thats like my cutoff. but on the otherside, i could plus 4 years and that would also be my cutoff. it is different for everyone. be her friend, tell her how you feel. and see how it goes from there. good luck to you both :)

Answer 6

No you should keep your mouth shut except to encourage her to work on her marriage. It would be selfish of you and morally wrong to fuel a break up of this marriage. If she is truly unhappy and leaves her husband, then she might become available to you.
You would only be adding to her confusion and she could end up resenting you for it.
You are 20 years old. You have plenty of time to fall in love with someone who is available. She is not.

Answer 7

Maybe the problem she is having is that she talks to you too much and he told her to knock it off. It may not be you. You are just sort of caught in the middle. I think in this case you should back off. sorry. It's unfortunate but she is already spoken for. She knows where to find you if she ends up without him and is interested. In the mean time I think you should move on.

Answer 8

Do not force her to hear how you feel. You want to release it in your heart but at the expense of complicating her heart. Respect the reasons she is choosing not to be with you and if the Spirit means it for you to have her then the opportunity will arise for you to share your soul and hope she wants to share hers with you. Timing is everything and if she has pulled away it is not the right time.

Answer 9

You dont necessarily have to tell her that you like her....women know when a man is trying to become "friendly". Shes avoiding you because of that reason, so if I were you I would take it as a hint and not embarrass yourself.

Answer 10

Don't do it let her come to you. Think of it this way buddy if you can get here to cheat on her husband with you what makes you think she won't cheat on you. Just stay her friend and when her husband makes her mad be at her side.