I loved a girl during my college days. i felt it was only attraction and temptation, but not true love. and i decided to stop it. i told her my view and i convinced her to be just as friends. now it has passed 5 years and i'm married now. happy life. My wife feels that i didnt hide any thing at her. now do i need to tell this past to my wife? can she be convinced to know that i had a love in my past? plz tell me what to do?
2007-01-06 11:28:38 · 45 answers · asked by Ranjan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well...it happens to everyone...after all to err is human..by being hoenst..u will ba bale to love ur wife more. go ahead..all the best.
2007-01-08 20:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by mr_BIG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See, you mentioned at the first, it was attraction, Not true love. Then finally you end up saying "love in my past?". don't confuse yourself in it.:)
well, whatever , best is to tell your wife. If she gets and not talking to you. give her sometime, say atleast a day. Then tell her that you said this coz you are frank and since you love her, you are telling the truth. Tell her that you love or attraction which you had and you didn't want to hide in your relationship. Sure she will understand you.
See, assume you didn't say to her okay. When you meet your friends with your wife and finally your friends make fun with your past. You will be the trap. Finally you are in a tough sutiation. you cannot explain. Eventhough you say the truth, She will never belive you. Even she belives you, she might doubt you allways.
Why do you need all this in your marriage life So best if you say now and takes a little time for her to set down. But she will sure forgive this, since you being frank here.So tell her. Don't think you can tell your friends and be alert. sometimes sutiation changes, throught someone or she might be a relative of that girl, or any sutiation. You are trap. So being frank is good to your own life.
2007-01-06 18:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by Mayandi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not love a girl in your college days, you only love your wife and want to say everything about you, you are confused between love and infatuation, because love has no ending, only infatuation has, and infatuation is common during teens, and that is normal, you are in love, and you are completely committed. Yes you can share what happened when you were in college and how you liked a girl based on your immaturity and the funny things that happen when we all grow up, its no big deal, and this way you dont have to live with guilt, you did not do anything wrong. Its normal and healthy. When harmones circulate in the body, thats whats everyone does, you have expressed it her while others are still keeping it as big secret. make a joke of this experience. You are a wonderful husband and you are a loving man. Love happens only once and never breaks. If it broke then it was surely not love.
2007-01-07 12:13:49 · answer #3 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always say that you had a crush for some girls in your younger days and it was platonic. There is no harm in being frank and it only helps build better bonds with your wife. I am certain your wife must have had a crush with some men and she does not want to share as it is best to leave the past behind. But you seem troubled with your conscience. It could be from guilt or that you want to revive your old relationship. If it is not in your current matters of life, let sleeping dogs lie, let your past go to sleep. Move on with the future.
2007-01-06 11:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by iorusanyc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the wife of a man who had ventured into sex with men, please don't tell her yourself. It's a very hard, humiliating thing to hear. And just as I wish you hadn't found out what a jerk he is in such a shocking way, she shouldn't find out from you either. I would confront him next time he comes over (before sex, and no, don't throw his clothes in the shower), and tell him you know his real name, his wife's name, etc. and tell him he needs to tell his wife about his double life before someone else does. You can even imply that you'll be one to tell her. But, bottom line is this--for your sake, you need to take the high road. Do not do anything to him other than tell him that someone needs to tell his wife. And do not be the one to tell the wife. I know that reacting in a hurtful way will give you some initial satisfaction, but doing the right thing will give you long term satisfaction in knowing you behaved the best way you could. Good luck.
2016-03-14 02:29:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your wife the truth.... it's better that she hears from you then anyone else.... because lies can never be hidden it will come out some day... But if you feel like this is the right time to tell her... do it your self and I'm sure your wife would respect your honesty, even if it's after 5 yesar.....
Good Luck
2007-01-06 11:55:12 · answer #6 · answered by Curiosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can tell if you should tell her or not, because you know your wife (hopefully) more then anyone else here.. As a matter of fact you should have told her before getting married. Now its your judgement call whether you wife will understand it or freak out. Good luck.
2007-01-06 12:54:43 · answer #7 · answered by Iqbal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly happy with your wife and in love with her and want to stay married to her then don't tell her. But if you are still in love with this woman from your college days then you shouldn't be married to your wife any longer. You can't stay married to a woman that you aren't in love with, it would never work. If you love your wife you shouldn't even be thinking about the girl that you loved during your college days....leave her in the past and love your wife.
2007-01-06 11:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you didnot love her..then why you want to invite trouble by bringing out that issue. As a matter of fact you can only share this with your wife..but first be sure that she will take it in the right spirit. If you are not doing anything wrong now..then why invite the unwanted ghost called 'suspicion'?
2007-01-08 20:09:46 · answer #9 · answered by Saheli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear friend, U need to decide first wheather it was love or not, as u previously said it was just attraction but later u pronounced it as love. well, I feel that u want to be honest with ur wife which is a very good thought but u need to calculate with ur experience how ur wife will react. if she is a posessive lady n it was just an attraction (or even if love ) then u better forget it urself. But if ur wife is open minded n believe in u no matter what then u can tell her the fact whatever it is. GOOD LUCK...
2007-01-06 15:10:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you bringing this up after all of this time?If you are feeling guilty for keeping something from her then tell her.The truth will set you free.I don't understand why you didn't just tell her from the beginning.It doesn't seem like that big of a deal.Just tell her,get it over with and face the consequences which I don't think will be that bad.Your wife loves you and you are not going to loose her over something you did before you even knew her.
2007-01-06 11:38:38 · answer #11 · answered by julie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋