My daughter is 15 yrs old now and she still having anger problems. I just thought it was puberty. In the morning she yells if you ask a question or to get up. At night I ask questions about her day and she yells back it sounds shes mad. but i know she isn't. she has a great life great friends...she doesnt play any sports. she doesnt like anything she says. right now she wants to do tennis but it winter and theres no indoor around here which is connecticut. All day during the weekend she stays in her room and is on the computer or watching tv. Shes a tall girl 5'10 and thin. Do you have any suggestions of things she could do? Sport programs involving tennis? or indoor or outdoor activities to keep her active? PLEAS HELP!! AND PLEASE DON'T SUGGESTION BASKETBALL!
2007-01-06 11:23:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well shes not into much of being with alot of people and has asthma. Her cough has been horrible lately
2007-01-06 11:57:10 · update #1
what about swimming? That is an indoor and an outdoor sport that might keep her busy. And i am 21, but when i was between 14 and 16 i had a huge attitude problem. I don't even know what my deal was, but i just stayed in my room listened to music and draw all day. I didn't participate in family activities a whole lot, and i think it iwas because i was trying to find myself. Teenagers have a lot of pressure from other teenagers. They judge each other, they make fun of each other, and it is hard to be accepted, that is my experience anyways. And my sister went through this too. She is now 18 and completely out of it, but when she was about 16 she went through this. She had a huge attitude. I think it is just a growing up thing. But my mom would take us out on girls days, to the movies and shopping, this helped a little. I hope she grows out of it, i know my sister and i did. Good Luck.
2007-01-06 11:29:40 · answer #1 · answered by Stark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is unreasonable to insist that she could at the very least be civil to you, but it's been my experience, as a mother of teen age daughters, that anger is a mask. Something is wrong somewhere. If the computer is in her room I'd pull it out, and limit her time alone in her room. Try to establish comminucation lines with her, but if she won't talk to you help her find someone she will talk to. Maybe sports will be a positive outlet for her anger- if it is just anger, but in the case for my daughter, it was sexual abuse by a family member. I am in no way suggesting that this may be her problem, but you may want to rule it out. And just between you and me, if you ask her and she says no, it doesn't mean it didn't happen. My daughter denied it for a long time even after we knew for a fact it was true.
2007-01-06 19:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by Cheri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 14, almost 15 as well, although you are probably a little reluctant to take advice from me i might be able to help, i get angry sometimes to and am no longer involved in a sport due to an injury but sitting in her room all day on a computer or watching t.v. is not a healthy thing to do all day maybe she needs an outlet so maybe find an alternative to tennis or her problems may run deeper than puberty maybe she is in need of someone to talk to maybe a doctor would be a good idea
2007-01-06 19:31:11 · answer #3 · answered by Leannedrufy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend giving your daughter the gift of a journal, first of all. Tell her that she can write whatever she wants in there, that it will be her own personal place to vent her feelings and that you will never violate her space. Also tell her that whenever she wants to share what she's written, whenever she needs to talk, you will be there. Create a safe haven, where she can vent to you without judgement and fear of retribution. You can say, "Whenever you come to me and say, 'This is a venting conversation' or if you are holding the grey towel, you can tell me anything without fearing my responses." This isn't to say that you don't offer advice, but learn to listen as a friend when she needs you to and be a parent all the other times of her life.
It's hard to say what causes anger in young people but it is important that it is dealt with and not overlooked. My anger was excused and overlooked for far too long and now I am an adult and have to overcome this anger on my own.
Sometimes you can ask her one simple question, "Why are you angry?"
Her response may open up the door of communication and healing.
2007-01-06 19:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by DragonWrites the Fire Faery 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sullen, easily depressed, angry... sound like a pretty typical adolescent behavior. The bad news is adolescent behavior can last until the child is nearly 20. Frustrating for you, certainly. I am not a child psychologist but she sounds normal to me.
If you want to start having normal conversations with her - not battles over what you think she should be doing (sports) or what she is doing that you don't' approve of (being on-line all the time) I think you should start having very innocent conversations about what she does like to do. Ask about her interests and be supportive, rather than trying to direct her. She's at an age where she wants to start to take control of her activities; but she still doesn't know what those interests may be. But she is going to resent being tried like a young child who needs mother to plan her play time.
2007-01-06 19:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by krinkn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of this age it testing limits and figuring things out about themselves. Maybe she can join a club to get her active, check with the local YMCA or the city recreation department about indoor sports programs they may offer, see if the local community college offers any noncredit classes that would interest her (art, photography, music, cooking, etc). Maybe she could volunteer at a local pet shelter, nursing home, hospital, etc. Good luck, I teach this age and it is tough all around. If she likes tennis, see if a local health club offers racquetball or squash.
2007-01-06 19:30:33 · answer #6 · answered by bugjrmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry. Shes just going through hard times. Boyfriends and girlfriends. Friends and stuff. Studying and schoolwork. Its hard. I suggest swimming or soccer
2007-01-06 19:50:31 · answer #7 · answered by strawberry fields 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes....anger management counseling. A facility near you should be offering counseling for teens out of control...
2007-01-06 19:27:48 · answer #8 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you could join a gym together that has raquet ball courts. i know that certain Work Out World gyms in CT have courts.
2007-01-06 19:28:20 · answer #9 · answered by Amy M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be just normal teen stuff. Maybe she could volunteer at your local animal shelter, if she likes animals.
2007-01-06 20:15:40 · answer #10 · answered by milligan89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋