My marriage to this point has been bad. Verbal, emotional, and some physical abuse. Not to mention the constant fighting. My new years resolution was to get out of it. I already got my stuff together ( an apartment, a lawyer, a loan to pay for everything). I finally realized that I dont want to live like this and dont want my kids to live like that either. My 6 year old cries sometimes b/c she doesn't want to go home.
Apparently he watched some show on tv and is on this nice kick.
Saying that he wants to grow old together, etc.... I am feeling really guilty for my plans even though i know that people like him dont just change over night. but this is the 6th or 7th day and i cant remember the last time we have gone w/o a fight in that long.
This is not the first time i've left. Last time i fell for the nice guy and im gonna change act. it did not take long for the old ways to come creeping back I know i cant let this get to me like this but i feel sooooo bad.
2007-01-06 11:21:09 · 9 answers · asked by Miranda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are in this position because you are not loving yourself. If you loved yourself as much as you say you love your child you would not even think twice about the nice guy when he shows up. You'd make sure to stay as far away as often as possible from him as you can. If some man was abusing your child you'd protect your child this way. Why wouldn't you do the same thing for yourself? This is what your child is afraid of. The child realizes that you are too focused on what is not important that you are not taking action out of self love. Self love makes sure that the actions you take on behalf of others are good as well because you'll want to do what is best for them not based on what works for you but for them. So, pull yourself together and remind yourself that you are not loving yourself by allowing that type of treatment in your life and you are teaching your child to be unloving by subjecting them to this type of treatment.
2007-01-06 11:34:24 · answer #1 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not the first time i've left. Last time i fell for the nice guy and im gonna change act. it did not take long for the old ways to come creeping back
First of all, you married him the way he was. Obviously you didn't know him all that well before you married him or you figured that you could change him. Marriage doesn't work that way...especially when you think about what your vows actually say. But you do not have to put up with the abuse, and no they don't just watch a movie and change. It take much much more as well as more time. You've been through this before...if you go back now it will simply mean that you didn't LEARN from your mistake the first time. There is no shame in a marriage being a mistake and failing..the shame is when you don't LEARN from that failure and go back to only have the same things (if not worse) happen all over again. Especially if there is physical abuse. Do you want your 6 year old to be crying because daddy put mommy in the morgue?
2007-01-06 19:26:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love him, and it never has been like that for that long, give him the chance. If you don't, you will always wonder what if...keep your ducks in a row though (the plans, the lawyer, etc.) because, deep down, you know it won't last.
But at least, this way, you can tell yourself that you had given it every last chance, and you have nothing to regret.
2007-01-06 19:26:27 · answer #3 · answered by avechm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best prediction for future behavior is past behavior. Old habits die hard. Have you two tried counseling? If your daughter is crying because she doesn't want to go home to him, an alarm should be going off in your head. As her mother, you are responsible to her well being. You both should think of her and then try to work on your marriage.
2007-01-06 19:27:52 · answer #4 · answered by alexis09178 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!! Take some time to be single and take care of your kids. This guy is just playing with you he knows exactly what he's doing by being nice right now. Just leave, its best for you both, your kids come first
2007-01-06 19:28:15 · answer #5 · answered by Krista 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously don't feel guilty I did for 11 years and no matter how long you wait your son will always wasnt mom and dad together trust your gut GOOD LUCK
2007-01-06 19:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by iseemen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will have to take the opinion of the other ladies and write stay away from him and go on with your plans, I hope all goes well for you and your family...
2007-01-06 19:45:49 · answer #7 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont forget the reasons you are planning on leaving for.
2007-01-06 19:24:21 · answer #8 · answered by pooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on
2007-01-06 19:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋