My boyfriend has expressed to me that he is not ready to settle down or to be tied down. He said he is commited to me in his own way by being faithful to me and when he says he will call me or he will meet me, he has never ever disappointed me in this way. He has always been pretty reliable, which I really like about him. Other guys in the past sometimes did not call when they said they would. He is always very honest even though it sometimes hurts but he says he prefers to tell me the truth rather than lying to me and doing bad things behind my back. Anyway, I am 2 years older than him, he is 26. He's a very ambitious person and he is aiming very high in his career. He says he is now at the stage of his life where he wants to focus on his career. We've been together for a couple of years but for the last year, it has been a long-distance relationship. I admit I have been quite pushy with him for more commitment but he says he isn't ready to give up all of his freedom. Should I worry?
2007-01-06 10:49:46 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The good news is that he is straight with you. The bad news is he is saying up front that he does not want something you may want.
It depends on how long you have been together and how long yo want to spend giving this a chance. His telling you he's focused on something is pretty valid. My experience is that the guy is going in with his defenses up (just defenses against getting deeply involved). Watch that you don't get over-invested and blame it on him when things don't go like you want. If you want someone who is more available, come to that conclusion earlier rather than later. It will save you some heartache.
In the meantime, go get the book "He's Just Not That Into You" and read it cover to cover. I'm not saying he's not. But, you need to go into this with eyes open.
2007-01-06 11:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why don't you take the break and do something else without him for a change.
you need a new perspective on you life and now sounds like the best time to get involved with you. not a thing wrong with being on you own and having some fun, just in case things go bloowee.
2007-01-06 18:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by blueJean 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he is not your soal mate nor is he your real true love,the fact that you two are long distant is why it works for him because he still has his own life own friends and women on the side he can play with then he has you who he can enjoy when he likes,as much it may hurt you to leave him and be scared to possibly be on your own for a little while might be you need to leave him and move on,other wise you need to make the move to where he is living and be together but that wouldnt work out because he definately is not being faithfull to you
2007-01-06 18:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no i dont tink u should worry... he just needs space... if he's been faithful to u .. as far as u kno.. and honest.. and doesnt lie.. and it sounds like he is straight up.. then just give him space.. becuz that will let him see that he can do wat he wants and have ur support and later on down the road it will make ur realationship that much stronger.. just give him space... if he says he doesnt want 2 deal no more.. then make sure u stay friends with him.. doesnt mean he will start seeing someone else.. buh he just wants to see wat else is in the sea, buh he respects u enuff to tell u and not lead u on thinkin everything is peachy peach, and by cheating on u
2007-01-06 18:56:51 · answer #4 · answered by phatguyanesegurl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
move on and dont worry
2007-01-06 18:52:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋