Daughter Disaster! Help!!?

Question

Last week, I posted a question telling my 13 yr old daughter's height and weight and asking if she is overweight. Well, I left my Y! Answers account open earlier today and when my daughter went on the computer... yup, you guessed it... she saw the question and now she is more than angry. I've tried time and time again to comfort her and assure her that she's not at all overweight, but she won't listen to anything I'm saying, she won't talk to me, and worst of all, she won't eat! I feel horrible for doing this to her self-esteem... whan can I do?!

Answer 1

First of all, talk to her. If she is not talking to you this may be hard but you can do it. Apologize.
Secondly, about her no eating. This is dangerous. She could develop anorexia. You really do not want that. I am in this situation and it is not pretty. You might want to have her take this quiz
http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/obesity/l/bl_amifat_quiz.htm
The result will be(based on information from previous question): may be at risk of becoming overweight

Hearing that she is not fat from a objective source could do your daughter a lot of good.

Answer 2

Well, my 13 year old daughter IS overweight, and I'm not ashamed to tell her. I told her that I'm tryiing to save her from crying later, when some boy or girl tells her later. She weighs 200 pounds! I told her that it was unhealthy, and if she doesn't change her eating habits soon, she will feel really bad about it, or won't be able to later. She said she understood, but I still notice her sneaking ice cream in the cart at the checkout line, and not eating right. I keep trying to put her on a diet though, she will be in 8th grade this year, and she would like to look good in her clothes. I don't want her to do some unsupervised, fad diet, she could make herself very sick. So I'm trying to do this under a doctors care, and I keep telling her and showing her that I care that she can be the best that she can be. I keep showing her my fat pictures. I was 250 when I had her. She was a 10 pound baby.
After I had her, I got down to 180, but I was still fat. I finally lost it on a sensible diet and excercise program, and I'm now 135lbs. at 5'6. She is 5'7, and 200. The child should not be bigger than the parent. It's not right. But she was always off the charts in size and weight. She might not like it now, but she will appreciate it later.

Answer 3

I would imagine that she is very upset, since she is already sensitive about her weight. I looked up your previous question and thankfully, it appeared that most of the answers were kind and did not think she is overweight.

I think you should just talk honestly with her. Maybe you could explain that you don't think she is fat, but you thought maybe you should ask others their opinion. Since you are her mom, you are always going to think she is beautiful and perfect, but it is part of your job to make sure she is well cared for and healthy, including a healthy weight.

I have raised 3 daughters and it is hard in todays society to keep them from being weight obsessed. Do your best to assure her that maintaining good health and energy is more important than worrying about weight. Good luck!

Answer 4

tell her that u were just worried about her and that u noe she's not fat and that if she doesn't eat u are going to send her to a clinic to stop her eating disorder also don't ask random ppl online about ur daughter have u never heard of a doctor. And apolgize over and over again. and tell her if SHE feels she needs to lose weight she should go on a HEALTHY diet but only if she does and that she should not let anyone put her down not even you. By the way next time log out and talk to your daughter if you have a concern about her. Hope that helps.

Answer 5

Dang Thats Going To Leave A Scare!
You Just Need To Watch What Your Doing! That Was Very Careless Of You In The First Place!

Tell Her You Love Her And Wont Her To Be Healthy

Answer 6

first of all dont ask questions like that to strangers, ask them to a doctor, and only without your daughter anywhere around. girls that age have enough problems to deal with. You should probably take her to the mall or something and buy her shoes or something, and try to talk to her then. she will be forced to talk to you if you ask her if she likes a certain pair of shoes or whatever. just give it time, i went through this with my mom when i was 13ish, and thats pretty much how it was solved. just spending some time with her and give it a few days. if she continues to stop eating, then get her to a doctor so they can tell her how starving yourself can actually make you gain weight by sending your body into starvation mode! oh, and give it time

Answer 7

Tell her that you were concerned about her, but she is not overweight. Also assure her that you did not mean anything by it. Let her know how much you love her, and you don't care what she looks like. I am 13 as well, and that is what I woud like to hear. Also, tell her not to worry what others think of her. I hope this helps. ^_^

Answer 8

Now you have really killed off what self esteem she has. 13 is a difficult age for girls.There is no way you can make this up to her asyou did the wrong thing anyway.Did you think that she was not going to find out?

Answer 9

Wow, and usually it's the parents watching the kids usage. How big is she? if she's fat, tell her...for her own good, get her on a diet, so she doesn't end up sitting at home the night of the prom, and a diabetic at 40.

Answer 10

I read the answers, and thank goodness they were sensible. Give it some time, and when she has cooled down, let her know that as a mom, you were concerned about her health and not her looks. Don't be defensive, just say you're sorry and give her lots of love.