I am 42 wife is 32, she is calling me a control freak, only becuase she fully hasn,t embrased the principles of married life, and still lives a very selfish "single persons" existance, wishing to put her friends first, before her family, when trying to establish quality time boundaries for us alone. she claims that I don't own her, I have always be a caring doting husband, and let her get away with domestic murder. she is lazy and does not behave like a wife, yet I love her very much. she has benign Multiple Sclerosis, and i feel she married me as future carer in case her health goes wrong
2007-01-06 10:48:53 · 16 answers · asked by William B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you know all of this, you accept it, and continue to love her, quit complaining.
2007-01-06 10:50:47 · answer #1 · answered by NAN G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't own her, it's just that simple. Marriage does NOT equal ownership of another person. Just because you don't like the way she behaves doesn't mean she doesn't "behave like a wife". She just doesn't behave the way YOU perceive a wife to behave. And I have to ask...WHAT THE HELL IS ENFORCED MENOPAUSE? LMAO...Do you REALLY think you know what you're talking about or do you enjoy being laughed at?
2007-01-06 19:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
principles of married life....that sounds like a strong statement to make....and I can almost hear you saying it back to your wife....that line in itself would I have to say drive me crazy and send me back out to my friends!....However....you seem to be really struggling and deeply upset by your wife and whats happening to her...have I read right that she has MS....?
If she has thats a big clue to why she is doing what she does....there are two types of Ms and one of them my own mother has....(primary Progressive) and in the last 7 yrs she has deteriated and is now in a wheelchair full time and being cared for by family members. So I understand the pressure of Ms and what it can do the person that has it and the people around them....maybe your wife is scared trying to have all her fun now so that the future is less scarey....maybe she cant talk to you as she would like because she loves you and talking about whats going to happen is too painful because she doesnt want to scare you.....
I have Cerebral Palsy and have been in a wheelchair all my life and have a 10 yr old daughter who I have brought up on my own fully independantly. My mother brought me up to fend for myself and get on with life....but I have to say seeing my mum have the life that has been mine has been heartbreaking...I can cope because its all I know....but for you your wife and your family it must be hard......maybe you could go and talk to someone wich gives you both a chance to say how u feel without the blame and the arguments......I wish you all the love and luck in the world!
2007-01-06 19:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really sad, I bet your a great husband whose being taken advantage of. Tell her how much you love her and you are tired of her actions. If she really loves you she will straighten up (grow up) and be a wife. You may have to give her an ultimatum to her - Straighten up or it's over. She should not be useing an illness as an excuse for her actions.
2007-01-06 18:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by Just me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people are just not cut out for being a housewife, or husband. don't think they are ever happy in their roles in life, as they are immature and aren't in it for u, just for themselves. nothing worse than not really being the priority in the relationship. think we teach people how to treat us, and use us and are just in it for their convenience, and agenda's. so why not seek some therapy, why not confront her. but maybe u and her aren't looking for the same things in life, maybe ill matched. but if u love her and don't want her to leave, than u may have to overlook her flaws, and just live with them, and just keep trying to work it out. guess there is something to be said in getting to really know someone before we marry them. but if she is having some health issues maybe she is just sick, and can't do what u need her to do.
2007-01-06 19:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well take a back seat in the relationship better still take up a hobby yourself that way you.ll be too busy to be their at her beck and call . she might realise what a ***** she is and wont take you for granted anymore then we.ll all live happily ever after THE END xx
2007-01-06 18:59:48 · answer #6 · answered by cazme20032002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so confused. What is "enforced menopause"? How long have you been married? How long did you date before? Did you live together before? More information is really needed before any advice can be intelligently given.
2007-01-06 18:52:25 · answer #7 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you:
Explore your wife's character deeper!
The more she behaves independently (playing hard to get), the more you will tend to cling to her. Live in your space, and she will run after you!
2007-01-06 19:04:02 · answer #8 · answered by Joe J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy her the book "The Proper Care & Feedings of Husbands"
Maybe it will help??
2007-01-06 18:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Care♥ mommy 2 my boys 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it out with her. If you two can't understand eachother, get a councelor. In the end, underlying resentment will kill the marriage if you don't face it.
2007-01-06 18:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well....you know her better than we do sweetie.....
Me? I'll give 150% but I expect it back I'm afraid....couldn't stand the thought of a love affair with myself....
2007-01-06 18:57:42 · answer #11 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋