Married for 15 years. Found out Husband was cheating.....again (this makes #2 that I know about. He also cheated on me when I was 9 months pregnant, in the hospital, IN LABOR!!). He promised to stop then I found he was back to his old tricks, even put a profile on an online sex dating website. Total scum....The question is, should I feel guity for asking for EVERYTHING in the divorce? The house, kids, cars, money, benefits, retirement...even his dog. I am justified, right?
(Looks like i will get it all too)
2007-01-06 10:47:10 · 23 answers · asked by MazzyStar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do not feel guilty at all...I agree...he is total scum for doing that to you. He clearly has a problem and needs counseling. Just be glad that you are rid of his a$$ for good and that he is now getting his just desserts. He is lucky you didn't physically injure him...I probably would have. lol I feel sorry for whatever woman he lures into his life next.
2007-01-06 11:06:45 · answer #1 · answered by S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not think you should feel badly about it. If you do feel badly for it, you could give him some things back. Yet I dont see any problem in this.
The only thing I would ask would be this. Did you do as many women did and play these silly games about not having sex with him? You know if you did or not. With some, it is habitual.
Now, that doesnt make cheating right, so dont think it is a justification for him in anyway. But I ask because I have seen many women pissed off because a man cheated, while they didnt want to admit that they never gave him any or had little to do with him. Some of the women also were cheating on their husbands, just not caught. If either of these was the case with yourself, then you are partially to blame and at fault, so you have no right to see or consider yourself a victim, only an accomplice before the fact.
But, if the above wasnt the case, why worry about it. He brought this upon himself and you have no reason to feel quilty.
2007-01-06 18:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me put it this way sweety...you're not going to GET everything in the divorce. Nowadays courts don't really count infedelity as a grounds for divorce unless it is coupled with something else. And no sweets you're not justified in getting everything...You will get one half of the marital assets, if you want the house you'll probably have to give up the cars or at least one of them. As for "benifits" he is not obligated to continue health insurance on you after the divorce, but you can have him continue it on your children when it comes to custody and child support phase. His retiremrent you are are entitled to half of what it had accumulated to during the course of your marriage, meaning that if he worked for 30 years and you were married for 15 years you would only be entitled to HALF of the 15 years accumulated and not what he had prior to your marriage or after. Yes you CAN ask for it all but that doesn't mean you're going to get it all
2007-01-06 19:45:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well look at it this way you taking everything will only temporally make you feel better so i guess what I am saying is do you want to end up a bitter divorce
2007-01-06 19:04:18
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answer #4
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answered by Huttserlla 1
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Never been divorced, so not the best source, but have been married longer then you, but I wonder why is your husband out looking for sex, or hunting the Internet for sex, whats wrong? As far as taking everything, thought you were married for 15 years, why do you want to sink him so bad, make the man you once loved hurt...never makes since to me...sorry
2007-01-06 19:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would this be your way of punishing him? Why would you want to take everything from him. He has made poor judgement yes, disrespected you yes, but you once loved this man and probably still do even though your a hurt and angry. You have a child with him. Your going to have some kind of relationship with him for the childs sake. Get child support, alimony, and half the assets and start your healing.
2007-01-06 19:03:52 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no girl he cheated on you and he needs to know that men cant do that an get away with it ! he cheated on you when you was in labor ? why the hell didn't you leave his *** then?
I would take him for everything he has. yall have kids together and you need all the support you can get so with all the money he has it will be a lot easier on you. i just hate men that cheat..
2007-01-06 18:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by " Dixieland Delight " 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i believe u should only get what u both got together or what u brought into the relationship. the only thing u should have left for him is his dog, honestly that was the only low part of it.but because he did cheat, not once but twice {or more} take it all, he knew what he was doing....L
And u did stay with him after the first so, u kind of knew he was gonna do it again, r u really that surprised?? not to be rude. sad but true!
2007-01-06 18:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by ben and lisa h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WhatEVER you think you should end up with, ONLY YOU will have to live with it...too bad he was so whorish...start thinking about your children and your frame of mind...your peace of mind...don't worry about getting revenge...you will NEVER feel like you got revenge no matter how much "stuff" you get in the divorce...you will be making a new life for yourself...get what you need ...and move on...
2007-01-06 18:55:21 · answer #9 · answered by Pooks 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have anything to be guilty about, just don't see it as a form of revenge but try to see your situation as something in which you can make life better for you and the kids because it is obvious you are still angry at such an irresponsible person.
2007-01-06 18:50:26 · answer #10 · answered by purringout 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋