What can I do?

Question

I am trying to get my friend to stop smoking she has been smoking since 1960! She really isnt my friend she is my moms moms friend but I have known her all my life and I want the best for her. Any tips for helping to make her stop smoking?

Answer 1

Some advice. You can not make someone quit. You can not have someone quit for you or someone else. If you want them to quit for good they need to do it for themselves and in their own time.
I would express that you would love for her to stop because you care about her and smoking isn't good for her health. (which I know she knows.
Then give her some space. The more you bug her the more likely she will be to continue smoking

Answer 2

Call the American Cancer Society at 1-800-ACS-2345 and ask them to send a brochure called "When Smokers Quit" to YOU (they won't send it to her because she did not request it and privacy laws forbid it).
Once you have it, look it over. Wait for a moment that she is not stressed, or ask if you can visit her privately and give her something. Just give her the brochure and say how much you care about her and how worried you get about her when you think about what smoking does to hurt the body. Tell her you aren't telling her what to do, but ask her to consider looking at the brochure and think about quitting someday soon. Be VERY polite and do not confront her or do this in front of other people. Use a caring tone of voice and look her right in the eye. Be very short- don't keep it more than five minutes in all. And then THANK HER for listening to you. Tell her you want to be her friend for her whole life and you want that life to be long. Before you leave her, you can also give her a pack of candies like lifesavers or tictacs, or some gum and say with a smile, "Just in case you may need these someday!" And then drop it.
A small intervention from a caring person CAN make a difference. The Great American Smokeout began with this idea- that if asked politely to consider quitting, some people will. Someone I worked with did this for me in 1977- he asked me to sit down with him and talk, and he asked me to consider how my smoking affected me and affected the people around me, and he gave me some simple facts from the Society. Then he thanked me politely for listening, and never said a word about it again. I did not quit then. When my baby niece was born a few months later, I got pneumonia and couldn't visit her for a while. I decided to quit- and I did. I had tried before and failed, but I was armed this time with more information and with determination. I have never smoked since, and I was a three-pack a day smoker. Her mom and dad quit too.
What you are doing is planting a seed. I hope it takes root and bears the fruit of a long-lasting friendship for you.
Good luck. You are a kind and thoughful and caring person.

Answer 3

Well I am trying too and it is so hard. I can't find the way but I'm sure if you ask her not to smoke around you or in your house would be a great start. I want the government to ban tobbacco sales this is something all you kids can do the ban on smoking in cities isn't good enough. If a city bans it they shouldn't be allowed to sell them and receive tax monies either. This is what we push for next a sales ban on cities that ban smoking!!

Answer 4

Nice of you to want to help her, but if she has not quit, after all these years, and the repeated warnings of the dangers of smoking, and I am sure she has a "hacking cough", then I don't think there is much you can do. In order to quit smoking, a person has to be totally committed, and really want to.

Answer 5

You cannot be responsible for the life choices of anyone else - even if you disapprove. Granted all the health hazards of smoking it does have nerve calming and soothing effects and does help some people cope with life. She is obviously old enough to make informed life choices. If you don't like the choices she has made don't associate with her. But what she does is her business, and hers alone.

Answer 6

i'm sorry to tell you but you won't be able to get her to stop smoking no matter how much you tell them that you want them to or that it is bad for them. this is something that she will have to come to a decision on her own. i've been trying to get my husband to quit since we've met 11 years ago and to this day he is still smoking. i've even threatened to leave and that didn't work. but good luck and i hope that you can get her to quit. if you can give me some pointers on exactly what i should do or say...

Answer 7

You cannot make someone else quit.

But you and your Mom can make it inconvenient for her to smoke. Do not allow her to smoke in your house or near either of you.

Trust me when I say, Passive smoke WILL KILL YOU.

My Mother died from the side effects of 61 years of my Fathers smoking.

Answer 8

If she's been smoking for the past 47 years, she's not going to quit any time soon. I'm sure she already knows that she is shortening her life.

Answer 9

She probably has heard it all. She won't quit until she is ready. My father smoked since I can remember. He only quit when he had to have open heart surgery and the surgeon told him that 80% of the blockages were because of the cigarettes.

You can ony encourage and give them information, but they will only quit when they are ready.

Here are a few websites:
http://www.gosmokefree.co.uk/
http://www.quitsmokingsupport.com/
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_10_13X_Guide_for_Quitting_Smoking.asp

Answer 10

The saddest truth of all is that your friend won't quit unless SHE WANTS to quit. My parents were in the same situation; my mother had major respiratory failure, and went into a coma for a week! THAT made her quit; my father .... well, I was a ***** and forced him to go see his wife of 28 years in the hospital with tubes sticking out of every orifice, and that's what made HIM quit.

That's the way it is....until she's faced with the worst of her fears, NOTHING ON THIS EARTH is going to make her WANT to live.