how do you change ??

Question

i am on of four grandchildren and i am the one that didn't make much of my life i am not a bad person but i am not the success the rest of them are. i work and own a house but that is all i can say i live pay check to pay check and the rest don't how do i better myself i am 31 with a hubby and two kids please help

Answer 1

You still young to go and get a degree in something, that's the only way out of your paycheck to paycheck, it's up to you.♦

Answer 2

u are comparing yourself to the others, and feeling unsuccessful, but we aren't all given the same gifts, or the same ability to make money, think u have done well owning a home, having 2 nice children and hubby. don't ever think u are less just because the other grandchildren have more education or money than u do. never be envious of others. success is just a matter of someones opinion. and should never be based on the fact that others became more successful than u, because u are just as special as them, u were created to be u, our happiness should never be measured by the job we have, money we have, or things we own, but instead by our actions, and how well we treat others , based on our compassion, empathy, kind heart, and the good we make happen for others. don't envy them, your time will come, go back to school, get some career going, in a field u might enjoy, maybe nursing, where u are helping others. they always have a shortage of nurses. but you know what if u work, take care of your children and hubby, own a home, than u are way ahead of most your age. good luck

Answer 3

The first thing you do is tell yourself you don't need to compare to them. That's not what family's about, and if it IS then it's not a very healthy family relationship going on there. And anyway, if you will always do your best to provide for you and your own, the grandparents should look upon you with respect.

You can change your situation by looking into ways to make savings for yourself and your own family. Not easy to do, I know, I'm trying to figure that out for myself here with only 1 kid...

The biggest thing is to change your outlook - don't think of yourself as not successful. The fact that you have a job, a home, and a marriage with 2 wonderful children is VERY successful in other people's eyes! Work on simple things that make you happy yourself - some do gardening, some take walks every day to get fresh air, some go out and take pictures of things that remind them of happy times (like myself).

Answer 4

Love yourself and be yourself and stop feeling that you have to compete with your siblings/cousins/etc. Are you happy with your house? Are you happy with your spouse? Are you hapy with your career and what your kids are doing? Are you happy with the way you look and feel about yourself?

There are no guarantees. I lived paycheck to paycheck and tried to "better myself" by getting a four year degree and becoming an RN. I did exactly that, had a great salary, and less than two years later was stricken with a crippling autoimmune disease and had to give up my job and now I work out of the house and make far less money but I am happy. I found my husband because of this disease. I went back to church because of it and I learned to appreciate simpler things and not stress over things I can't change. I am glad to have a body that is still functioning and family members I can love who love me back for who I am, not what I make, don't make, live in or drive. I am glad if I go to bed at night and our bills are paid and nobody is sick, dead or in jail. Material things are not going to stand at my grave and cry when I die.

Answer 5

What do you mean you didn't make much of your life? You said you're not a bad person and you own a house. Sounds like you're doing something right. If you can get up in the morning and look in the mirror and like the person you are, how can you say you're not a success? Life is short. Many (most?) live paycheck to paycheck. I would be proud to have a child/grandchild like you!

Answer 6

well, i am one of eight kids, i am the one who didnt have money, and i also have three kids and no husband. i stuggled for many years and felt that i was the black sheep. no one seemed to care i was broke and trying to raise my kids by myself, no help from anyone. i did the best i could and then one day i got a job delivering a local news paper, i became the contracter and started making 4000.00 amonth. that is big for this small town. and then i learned that i could have done lots of things to stay at home and raise my kids and made lots of money like ebay, selling by doing mail order business. i am now very happy and my family still dont know how i make all my money, its our little secret.

Answer 7

first, don't compare yourself to the others. we become what we think of. think of the things you would like to see yourselves as, do this all the time and thing Will start to change. it does not happen over night, but it does happen. make a list of thing you want, they should not all be material, then think about how you would attain them and start. you'll be amazed how fast things come when you get out of the old grind of thinking this is the way thing are and that's that. keep doing it. good luck.


PS. i did this and it changed my life from feeling like you do now to a wonderful existence, with most of the things i wanted in about 5 month.

Answer 8

just do the best you can...be a good wife and mother
you do not need to impress someone to be a good person!
you sound just fine to me..do not try to make your self like them
you are probably way more happy than them anyway!!!
money and success doesn't mean you are a good person
don't be so down on yourself
best wishes
Bren

Answer 9

What are you passionate about? Find your passion and work in that field. I am 33 and I am back in school and to my surprise I'm not the oldest one there. You should't feel bad being a Mom is the hardest job ever!

Answer 10

Lolo, you need to stop looking at every one else's success and look at your success. You are married, you have children, and you have a job. You might not be rich, but you do not have to depend on welfare to support you. You are a succesful woman and all you have top do is keep chasing your dreams. It is never too late, but look at your winnings not your losses.