There's a guy I've been friends with since April when we first met at a job related training seminar. We really hit it off immediately and there was an immense amount of attraction between the two of us, much flirting etc. We have kept in touch and even began talking sex online many, many times. We've even talked about hooking up sometime, just haven't due to distance (200 miles) demanding work schedules, etc. When we've talked sex he's very direct and really seems to enjoy our talk. Anyways, last night I was loafing on myspace & found his updated profile. On the part about sexual orientation, he chose "not sure". I nearly fell off the couch! Mind you, I truly am not some nutjob who thinks homosexuality is wrong...I truly believe people are born that way. But this fellow would have been the last man on earth that I would have ever imagined was unsure of his orientation. I guess my question is, how can you be unsure? I'm still very much in shock by seeing that.
2007-01-06 09:03:53 · 7 answers · asked by Doogie 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I know he's been in long term relationships with women before. I'm not sure if I should bring up to him sometime what I read, I don't want him to think I'm prying, but we're friends and I want him to know that I still care for him and am here for him if he needs someone to confide in about all this. Help!
2007-01-06 09:05:26 · update #1
Of course, I can totally accept this...questioning whether or not I can is absurd! And myspace is public...how is that "stalker-ish"? The bottom line is this: I like him for the person he is and I do not ONLY see him as a potential sexual conquest. If he's unsure, bi, gay or straight, I still like him--PERIOD.
2007-01-06 09:16:58 · update #2
To address someone's question: I am a straight woman. Thanks!
2007-01-06 09:54:10 · update #3
I'd talk to him about it, but then I'm a pretty straightforward and blunt person at times. Just be like "so...I saw your myspace". Make sure he knows that you're supportive of whatever he ends up with. People all have different processes. I know I can't think of a time I didn't know (though there was the time that I knew and didn't want to know), but I'm told it's not like that for everyone.
With this in mind, you might consider putting off any further sexual / romantic inclinations until you've at least talked to him. You might help him better as a friend.
2007-01-06 21:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by Atropis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i'm pretty sure your asking more than the question you specifically stated. Update your details a little more and ask your question more specifically. As for the question you have asked..
It's the crossroad between knowing your gay and thinking your gay. It's a sub-consious realization you need to go through in order to find out. For me, i think i'm bi. But i've only ever had sex with one guy. And have only gone so far with a chick. One can never be sure as to what orientation he is if he has been tempted or decieved himself. Let's say a boy says he's straight, but then he's attracted to another person of the same sex, but he's not sure if it's really considered an attraction or maybe curiosity. This would possibly be considered unsure. The human mind is very confusing.
2007-01-06 17:09:32 · answer #2 · answered by Love Panda 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it, you say you discuss sex and even talk about hooking up. Well do you identify as gay or straight, does your friend realise that maybe you would like to carry your relationship further. Its obvious your friend is discovering the capacity within himself to try and experiment. It doesn't necessarily make him gay, just points out the fact that we all have some capacity for bisexuality. Why not talk to him openly about it and explore that possibility, you are obviously attracted to him.
2007-01-06 17:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by rndmacts 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you. You seem like a good friend to have & if he ever does come out to everyone he'll need your frienship more than ever. One added thought Could it have been possisble that he just said unsure because he didn't want to offend someone that was hitting on him?
2007-01-06 17:41:54 · answer #4 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing that when he posted his response to the question about his sexuality on myspace, he expected you to see it.
Bring it up. Be direct: "You have no need to be embarrassed, but this is what I saw. I care about you, and I'm curious, and I if you'd like to talk to me about it, I would like that." Then leave the rest up to him.
2007-01-06 17:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by Patrick C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your being a little crazy and giving off a bit of a stalker vibe. Have you ever heard of being bisexual? a-lot of people are but don't like to admit it so they think they are not sure what they are yet and are still testing waters when in fact they are just bisexuals and should learn to love themselves the way they are and should find someone who can accept that. can you?
2007-01-06 17:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Maybe he's just seeing what responses he gets...not everyone tells the truth on the computer.
2007-01-06 17:07:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋