Any immediate idea's to keep me sane after a break up? (please read it is short)?

Question

It hurts every second

My first long-term 8+ years

I have no friends (I spent my days catering to him)

I broke it off, am 36 I do not party and have been a recluse for years

I am educated (M.A), but not currently working

Thank you so much everyone really helped

Answer 1

Definitely do stuff to keep your mind off of it---set your goals and begin working toward them. Make sure they are concrete. It is probably a good idea to look for work--you can begin by getting a professional service to help you put it together if you have not been in the workforce for a while. Get counseling if necessary. Get out and do stuff. Get involved in something you care about and start making friends. Above all, reach out to others in need--it will take your mind off of your own pain.

Peace and I wish the best for you!

Answer 2

Join A Gym.That May Help.Or Go Out And Meet People..Sorry About Your Break Up.8 Yrs Is A Long Time And I Am Sure I Would Be In The Same Boat If Hubby And I Split As My World Is Him And My Kids.Good Luck And If You Just Need To Talk Send Me A Message OK..

Answer 3

Write about it. Do not erase anything that you put down, but don't feel obligated to let others read anything either.
Writing will help you resolve a lot of feelings and frustrations you have, and later remind you that you are a much stronger woman for putting up with whatever you did and walking away finally. One day in the future you can look back on your journal and actually laugh at a few notes... and you'll feel much better. It might also help you reshape your personality a tiny bit and you can use that with your education to get where you really belong in life... only you can determine what/where that is for yourself.

And who knows? Maybe one day your story can help other women stay sane too!

Answer 4

You know what you got your freedom! Just go out have a good time. Get some kind of hobby where you will meet other people
with the same interest. I know it is a long time but take is as lesson learned. Look for a job first to keep your mind busy if you don't want to work may be attend some class to give you time to gain a better skill. Don't think about the past, just learn from it. You have a better chance this time if you become assertive in your future relationship. You are still young !

Answer 5

36 is not that matters much. It's the way you see yourself. Read Osho for a change and you will find peace of mind, especially when you feel devastated in a relationship.

Other than that, there is a lot more you can do to keep yourself 'sane'.

1. Become a mother [You have not mentioned whether you already are] You don't necessarily need a man to become a mother. Adopt a child if you can and find a new meanting to your otherwise seemingly lost life.

2. Have a pet, a labrador perhaps. Pets are effective reppelents of lonliness.

3. And if your heart still yearns for your man, then pray for him ! When you pray for someone who has hurt you to the core, they somehow feel a void and might come back.

If you need more of my talk, then mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 6

I can only offer you the comfort that you are not the only one. Although my last break up was my marriage, I too was unsure of what to do. I am 30 and I had lost all my friends during the marriage because I didn't have time for them (also because I have twin boys.....) but we have a lot in common. I guess I could say I am a recluse because I don't go anywhere because of my kids so I have no life.
I know it hurts soooo bad and you feel like life sucks (that is how I feel anyways lol) but please remember that life does go on and time really does heal all wounds. Make sure you put yourself first and don't have any contact with him (if you do) because it will keep opening the wounds. I am sorry I can't offer good advice but please know that you are not alone!

Answer 7

i know it hurts, when we have built our whole life around someone else, when that ends we seem to have no identity. but don't be afraid of reaching out to others, self help groups, made up of other woman just like yourself who can help u through this, will be hard to do it without a support system, with at least one friend. when it happened to me, had i not had friends, and gotten some spiritual help, i never would have been here today typing this answer, as i really did not think i would make it out of the pain. but i reached out and u would be surprised at how many nice people are out there that have gone through exactly what u are right now, that are farther down the road than u with getting past this hurtful time, who would be more than willing to be your friend and help u. but u must reach out to them and trust someone. your not the first woman who finds herself completely alone because of giving her entire life to a man. first u must acknowledge the relationship is absolutely over with, until u do, u can't begin the grieving process, and won't ever be able to heal from it. u cheat yourself out of life when u dwell in the grief, the what ifs, the expectation he will just walk back into your life, and life will resume just as it always did. just accept what u have no control over, and did not cause. good luck to u, and god bless

Answer 8

go down to your local community college and pick out a course to take. take off and go somewhere for a month. join, join, join... any clubs, organisations, groups, etc., that you might like to be involved with 5 years , no , you don't have to stay with them 5 yrs., just give it some thought. learn to play the guitar, trombone, or drums. go to buy a timeshare and check out all the different salesmen. get a job doing something you really love. take up an esoteric hobby like hiking all the major trails in the us national parks, or around the world. start to live like you've only a month left. or a day. or a year. take your pick. it will get better,
so quit worrying and start doing. good luck and remember to be happy every day.

Answer 9

First, on Monday, go out and start looking for a job, then join a few things, like a gym -- workouts are good for you -- Are you interested in finding a guy?? If no, read no farther. If yes, then continue...Put up a personal ad on Yahoo Personals. There are some tricks, --- like if you don't have a killer smile, get one. Beautiful teeth radiate health and healthy is sexy. More, but if you're interested, write me.

Answer 10

Start walking. I think thats the best advise. Find some pleace, a gym or a path somewhere and just walk. Walking pumps the blood, and helps you think better, if you walk enough you'll loose pounds. If you walk on a treadmill in a gym, more people will notice you getting toned from your walking and will "check you out" more. It'sthe easist way I've ever had of getting over one.