I am divorced with two children and my ex-husband pays me $80 per week child support. The divorce went smoothly without any lawyers and we are both flexible about holidays and visits. He does give me extra when it comes time for "back to school" and pays all medical for the kids. I guess if he was paying the normal percentage for this state he would be paying over $200 per week. Him and his g/f do have ALOT more than we ever did (or that I do now) they just bought a $200,000 home..etc. Almost everyone I know (especially certain family members) say that I am crazy/stupid for not taking him to court for more child support. I am so sick of hearing it! The divorce was MY fault...I did NOT cheat on him but, I basically left him for another man. (things were bad with us anyway and I was ver unhappy ) Should I really just "stick it to him" just because his life is better than mine now? It's child support - not ex-wife support, right? Opinions please..am I stupid??
2007-01-06 08:30:43 · 15 answers · asked by Cindy J 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Getting child support is not about anything but the children. If you are able to provide for your kids on the amount he gives, then let it alone. Does he have more because his new girlfriend makes decent money? Can he afford to give you more? Can you afford to go to court? All of these things need to be considered.
Most states have a "no fault" divorce law. It doesn't matter who instigated the divorce.
Well meaning family members don't want to see you get screwed. But if your split up was amicable and is working for everyone involved and the kids are not going without, let it go. Good luck and remember, sometimes family members who are trying to help may be adding more stress to your life.
2007-01-06 08:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can take care of your two kids with what he gives you and you two can actually talk to each other about the kids and he's a good dad, leave it alone. I left my husband because we married at 19 and I realized that after 12 years I had grown but he hadn't. I divorced him without a lawyer and gave him everything just out of the guilt of ending the marriage. Now, to save himself child support which he hasn't paid in over a year anyway, he wanted to give up his parental rights which I wouldn't allow him to do. His new wife is a bear and I just choose not to speak to him as all he does is cry as to why I left him over 5 years ago. So, just keep on doing what you're doing as it sounds like your kids are winning. My kids just wonder why their dad doesn't want to see them anymore and I have to attempt to answer the questions without putting down their dad...yucky situation all around.
2007-01-06 16:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jenny S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy from where I live $200,000.00 home is in the slums...LOL. So to me that price is nothing. Actually since he is paying for their medical bills that might be factored in as part of their support, child support doesn't simply mean the check that the mother gets every week, it also encompasses, other payments he takes up such as health/dental insurance on the children. If he makes the payments on mom's car (My ex did, so the monthly check was a little less but I didn't have a car payment to worry about), also you mentioned that he provided for school supplies, if he picks up the tab for any daycare that can be factored in as well as (believe it or not) gifts for mom for her birthday, Valentine's Mother's Day and Christmas. So you can tell you friends and family that he IS paying what he should be paying, it's just not coming in cash in hand.
2007-01-06 16:36:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I Don't Think You Should Stick It To Him. Just Be Happy That He Even Pays Anything At All.Also Be Happy That He Does The "Extra Stuff"..I Just Pray He Is Still There For His Kids..
2007-01-06 16:35:06 · answer #4 · answered by amber 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the money that he pays with all the "extras" that he gives is enough to support your children (provide food, shelter and clothing), then no, don't "stick it to him". He's paying child support, paying their medical and helping when help is needed. He's involved in the lives of your children. If you attempt to get more money that you don't need, it could cause a hostile relationship...and that's not in the best interest of the children.
2007-01-06 16:34:36 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
o.k. first you are not stupid. i have two kids as well.you didn't want lawyers and court so as not to hurt the kids.(right?).you really should try to get him to pay more. simply ask him if that is a possibility. tell him the kids are worth it right?!also tell him you feel they shouldn't have to take second to his new g/f. it seems like that is all he is concerned with is his and her needs.tell him you don't want to have to put the kids through any stress from court and lawyers but feel they deserve their fair share. good luck. i'm miserable a s hell in my marriage but won't leave until the kids graduate. you did what was best in your situation and i commend you for that. just remember what you do has to be what is best for the kids and not just for revenge. good luck and take care of the precious two young'uns.
2007-01-06 16:38:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you how you handle the situation. If you are comfortable with the way you and your children live then it's no one else's business. If you want more money maybe you could ask him and leave the court out of it. Just explain that it's becoming harder and harder to make it now that the children are getting older and inflation is high. It's a basic cost of living increase.
2007-01-06 16:34:41 · answer #7 · answered by pelenpuppy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're happy with the arrangements, and your kids are being provided for, isn't that what really matters? I could see if he was a dead beat, but it sounds like he's taking care of his kids. It sounds to me like it's a great arrangement for everyone.
2007-01-06 17:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by Jacki T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just think if you were with him now maybe i'd be you in that nice house.You weren't happy and left he got someone better and your jealous.... odds are if you jack it up he wont pay you anyway,if the kids are doing good leave it alone remember your done with him and hes done with you and evidently better off for it but its all about the kids,
2007-01-07 01:46:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about what is best for the children.They have the right to child support. Let the court decided was is fair.
2007-01-06 16:39:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋