I've dated someone off and on again for the past 5 years - he has had his ex wife in the picture for our entire relationship....but he says that they are only friends.....he and I own a house together but he is trying to say we are married and is taking me to court...and then now i find that she bought a house - how can i come to terms with this type of treatment..
2007-01-06 07:27:51 · 12 answers · asked by regis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey life is never fair and it is really hard to come to terms after we have been deceived and our hearts broken. we first have to acknowledge that the relationship is over, we can't grieve until we do this. don't let him make u the victim here, rather be healthy alone than with someone so deceitful. u can get past this treatment, if u first acknowledge u did nothing to deserve this, that it was caused by him, and his choices. u did nothing wrong. she has been in the relationship all this time, that should have raised a red flag, that he was still friends with his ex. get through the grief part hopefully getting to the last part which is the resolution part, that u finally do see there is a way out of this awful illogical disaster. accept that he never got over her, and because of it, an innocent party will have to suffer for something he did. u will need to get into a grief group, that deals with this, as u are mistaken if u think u can get over it by yourself. u gave your all, in good faith, and expected the same from him, but unfortunatly it doesn't always work that way. we have no guarantee that the person we give our heart to will be fair, and honest. so sorry for u. god bless. been there done that and it hurts alot. will take time to forgive it, but u will never forget it, u will leave this relationship a little less innocent, and a bit more jaded, and mistrustful. but there is a life after this, but will involve putting yourself out there again, making yourself vulnerable, and reaching out but just show this jerk your a self confident woman, and not just one of his victim's.
2007-01-06 07:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you living in a common law state? If not, you are not married. He has the right to take you to court for half of the house, (that doesn't mean he'll get it). This type of treatment was the fault of both parties. He dished it out and you took it. It takes two to make any relationship into what it is. You had just as much right to leave as he did. That you chose not to says a lot for your self esteem. You need to respect yourself and your feelings enough to understand that what is happening is wrong and to take action. You need to love yourself. Trust in relationships may be hard to regain, but I think that trust in yourself needs to come first.
2007-01-06 07:43:38 · answer #2 · answered by kalischild57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you come to terms with this kind of treatment? Why would you want to? If a relationship is defined as admiration, respect passion and trust, (with a whole lot of lovies, kindnesses, doing nice things for each other, being a team, a committed couple, yadayadayada, ) 3 of the 4 aren't even there!!!! What ARE you thinking? Sell the house, or buy him out of it and find yourself a guy who is available.... this one sure isn't, is he?
2007-01-06 07:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will - in time. You will eventually learn that this guy may be a jerk, but there are SOME nice, honest, trustworthy people still out there. Get yourself a great lawyer, and screw him to the wall. If he's claiming marriage (if you're common-law, still applies) there are, I'm sure, a few things that you will be entitled to that he hasn't considered. Take the gloves off and let him have it. It will make you feel a little better when you get justice.
2007-01-06 07:50:54 · answer #4 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First wife in picture = bad sign
only friends = Bull S**t
house together, unmarried = dumb move on your part
court thing = he is stealing from you
she bought house = they were never really apart, mentally
How to deal with, well girlfriend, get yourself a lawyer and fight him till the end, no matter what and learn from your missteps.
There is no reason in in the world that you should let yourself be treated like that. I hope you have learned something here.
2007-01-06 07:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by J.M.C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're truthfully not incorrect. I actually have a chum that is a compulsive liar, that is disgusting. She lies to my face and that i only smile and nod like oh extremely? Yeah no. yet i'm unsure what to tell you because of the fact this may well be a marriage, that's geared up on have confidence. you only might desire to enable him understand that he can not get away with all of this, and make optimistic he's conscious which you're mendacity, shop bugging him till you get it out of him. I surely want you the final of luck, desire all of it works out for you!
2016-12-16 03:38:48 · answer #6 · answered by apollon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up and find a Real Man.
2007-01-06 07:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by RJ2K1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good lawyer.
Go to a psychiatrist and find out why you let yourself be treated this way.
2007-01-06 07:36:16 · answer #8 · answered by siriusblackpearl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is no marriage certificate, then you are not married!
Get a good lawyer, this guy sounds like a real ******.
2007-01-06 07:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by Sapphire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you be involved in such a mess with such a liar?
Let it all be known, pull the wool back...
2007-01-06 07:46:59 · answer #10 · answered by lee f 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋