we have been together for almost five years and three children we both want diffrent things and for the past year have had more fights than good times. we have both said maybe we would be better apart how do we do this without runing our childrens look on relationships? neither of us have actually left eachother or called it quits yet but we are just prolonging the inevitiable.
2007-01-06 07:24:37 · 11 answers · asked by angela C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sit down with your boyfriend and start on some legwork for a separation.
This will be gutwrenching and patience testing but it sounds like your situation is much like one I went through 8 years ago:
Both you and your boyfriend are good people. Just not good for each other. It sounds like you both love your children and could come to a reasonable solution over time that protects them emotionally from their parents separation.
If sitting down and talking doesn't work, BOTH of you should retain a lawyer to represent your respective interests. I wish you the best in a difficult time....
I came to a successful conclusion with my ex 8 years ago. I pay her modest support, My daughter spends every second weekend with me plus impromptu visits at my house (when schedules permit). I also buy many extras out of love (activity fees, shoes, winter jacket ect) to help my ex as she is a single mother.
Every situation is different however...just dig deep, prepare to make sacrifices and do the best you can for yourself, your soon to be ex, and your children.
2007-01-06 07:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not much in relationships that can't be fixed with the exception of betrayal. communication, therapy, giving in to the other or meeting one another somewhere in the middle. if u have children than u need to try a little harder. doesn't really have to be this way.with divorces there are no winners. and when the split actually happens, no matter how u have thought divorce, and decided it is best, u still wish there were something more u could have done. as life is not easy out there, and if we have kids by one man, think if at all possible we should stay in that relationship, as no man will ever love your kids like their natural dad. when we divorce and split up and sometimes when we get into a new relationship with someone else, our kid's won't like the new man, or the new man will not like the kid's of the other man, and it just doesn't seem to work out so well for the kids. good luck, and if it doesn't involve betrayal, or abuse, than i would consider some therapy before walking out on it, and giving up on it. as we do live in a throw away society where when problems come into the relationship, the first response is to cut and run, and no one ever wants to fix what is wrong, no one wants to compromise, because they all think they are right, according to them anyway.
2007-01-06 07:55:56 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're just hanging on for financial and child-raising and babysitting reasons. It sounds like a bad marriage or at least an unhappy one. I would try splitting up, kids and all. After you start planning to split or even after, you might find you miss them and do love each other. You can always get back together if no one else comes between you or sometimes even if they do. Love will find a way and all that!! Magentism. Good Luck!! Let me add that sometimes you don't know how good you've got it.
2007-01-06 07:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why have you had 3 children with a man who hasn't married you? How does that teach your children about relationships? Now, you've decided that the two of you have nothing in common. What a foolish woman you are.
2007-01-06 08:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it took five years and the birth of three kids with him before you deciced you wanted different things. you should have figured that out before you slept together the first time. well, the kids will figure out quickly that their parents don't get along. it is not good for them to hear arguments or see violence. try counseling and if the marriage has no future, get a divorce.
2007-01-06 07:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 starters its not gonna happen the break up will affect them but if you feel the relationship has run its course that you are truly at the end just sit him down and explain to him by not being happy together you are doing more harm than good to the kids hopefully you both are mature to handle to continue raising your kids
2007-01-08 00:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by OFFICER CAMPBELL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know that if you break up you're children will be affected permanently by this and will carry scars into their future relationships. Whatever happened to people staying together and working things out?
Read Dr. Phils advice on calling it quits.
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/23
2007-01-06 12:11:38 · answer #7 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down one last chance look each other in the eye. The kids must come first we know that but see if it worth saving if not you must go your separate ways as soon as possable good luck
2007-01-06 08:11:52 · answer #8 · answered by gerardhowes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always speak the truth... hurting someone with the truth instead of a lie does make you feel some what better vs telling him a lie and having it come back and bite you.
2007-01-06 07:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by georgia k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm.
well isay to ur childern me and ur dad have grown apart !
and say it doesn't mean u shouldn't have relationships when ur older and there is someone out there that is right for u !
well i hope this helped
2007-01-06 07:29:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋