If there has been a loss of intimacy both phyiscal and emotional because of stress or activities outside of the relationship. Is it possible to get back on track?
2007-01-06 07:12:01 · 23 answers · asked by kalischild57 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course it is possible to overcome enormous hurdles in a relationship. This is the cement that holds the years together.
Wether it is worth it or not depends on how much you are prepared to invest in it
2007-01-10 15:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Honey.
This is a very important question and I'll try to give you an answer you can work with.
A. I feel we meet and are in a relationship for as long as we are meant to be, to grow and learn from it.
On saying that. Trust is part of the foundation, a major part in a relationship. If the Guy has been betrayed he feels it and it hurts. If a female has been hurt it is so much more of an injury to cope with..
It can get back on track if BOTH of you want it too. You need to do the following.
A. get councelling don't go it alone. You may need couples councelling, or individual visits or both. Help is as near as your local church or Salvation Army or maybe a community listings. Just check them out they'll point you in the right direction.
B. it hurts and it will for a long time months or so, it depends on the couple. Actions speak louder than words ,so the one who strayed has to show the injured party they are faithful and that's going to take some doing, as they already are coming from a place of suspicion.
C. You can't expect anything less than loss of intimacy for the present and for a while yet. Don't forse it. This takes time and gradually this will come back, when the time is right and after you understand ,why this situation happend in the first place. The injured party has to know it wasn't because they were inadequate ,or unloving etc, as women tent to blame themselves and feel cheated and self esteem goes.They need to know it wasn't really anything to do with them. It was a need you had, that you weren't getting in the relationship as it was. Men tend to stray, because of panicover there virility , sex or wife doesn't understand them and new lover does. Women tend to stray ,due to lack of emotional intimacy and not being able to share with their husbands, disconnected emotionally, boredom. Low self esteem. The new Lover makes them feel sexy wanted loved.Excitement of an affair.
is a turn on to start with for both sexes.
Once things are getting better go try Tantra sex classes this is more about getting intouch with your senses it's very exciting in every sense and very sensual and a lot of intimacy connected with it. just by touching and feeling the essence of the other person mmmmm.
Good luck to you both may you both want and strive for a terrific relationship.
2007-01-13 12:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to get back on track but it takes effort by both parties. I don't know if the stress was something you could control or not but activities are usually something you can control. Set boundaries for your relationship and learn to say no to those who impose on you time. Take time to refresh yourself as an individual and a couple. If you are refreshed you have more to give to your partner. If you take time together as a couple you will find that spark again. Make the time because it won't happen if you don't.
2007-01-06 19:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A LOT OF HARD WORK. REMEMBER WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE- WHAT IT TOOK TO GET YOU BOTH THERE-. THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS- JOBS ARE LOST/QUIT EVERYDAY- BUT YOUR TRUE LOVE WOULD STILL BE THERE EVEN YOU ACTIVITES/JOB ARE NO MORE.
THATS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT JOBS/FRIENDS COME AND GO YOUR MATE IF KEPT HAPPY AND CONTENT WILL BE THERE FOREVER. MINIMIZE THE ACTIVITIES- LEAVE WORK AT THE TIME CLOCK AND GO BACK AND "DATE" AGAIN. RUTS ARE FALLEN INTO ALL THE TIME TRUE LOVE THATS WORTH FIGHTING FOR IS WHAT GETS YOU OUT OF THE RUT. IF IT'S WORTHY WNOUGH IN YOUR HEART THAT YOUR LOOKING FOR HELP TO GET IT BACK- DONT WASTE YOUR TIME HERE LOOKING READING THE ANSWERS MAKE THE ANSWERS YOURSELF. DO THE THINGS YOU DID WHILST DATING TO GET TO KNOW THE OTHER AGAIN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THINGS HAVE BEEN SLIPPING AND THAT YOU WANT/NEED TO PUT A ROPE OUT THERE TO PULL WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT BACK CLOSE TO YOU. GOOD LUCK
2007-01-13 22:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by KATHEYCARCRASHER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you need if faith and a willingness to try and rekindle the relationship, remmeber that marriage is like a job and that it takes work from both sides to make it work. I would suggest setting days out of the week that you and your spouse can go out on a date so spend time with yourselves, go bowling, golf, movies, park, anything even dancing, do things that both of you will enjoy. It doesnt happen overnight it does take time, good luck and I hope things work out.
2007-01-06 15:53:53 · answer #5 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as there has not been a betrayal, the spark can always be relit. Try the book "For You Both" by Lonnie Barbach, THE sex therapist in the country today.... cheap in paperback it is so popular. Get it by Wednesday, from Amazon.com... lots of great ideas. Her other stuff is nice too --- smart lady, the bible for most marriage counselors in this country today.
2007-01-06 15:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you care enough and are prepared to stick to it. Time is the greatest way to prove you are faithful and serious. Sometimes the degree of your regret and the ways you try to make it up to someone are the things that let them start to believe in you again. I speak from experience. But it takes a lifetime.
And it's 100% worth it. You will make it to the older years and that can be the most wonderful time of your life.
2007-01-06 15:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the two people. Some are more forgiving than others and some work through their feelings faster. Trust is a big issue with me. I think once that trust is broken it is never full placed back.
2007-01-06 15:18:19 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is a wish to improve on both sides then the future is yours to create. The decisions and actions will come from both of you pulling in the same direction. As Shakespeare said 'what's done is done' concentrate on making a better here and now. hope it works how you want it to xx
2007-01-06 15:20:48 · answer #9 · answered by shaunie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, but it takes commitment on both people's parts. it isn't a 50/50 - it's 100% effort on each person's side. set aside time for just you two. think back to when you were dating and what brought you two together in the first place and go from there.
2007-01-12 03:46:21 · answer #10 · answered by abby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋