Do you think that I, a 15 year old girl, can help my dad quit drinking?

Question

My dad has been in and out of my life since i was born [im 15] and he has a drinking problem. When he drinks he gets very violent and does rude things. Right now, he is serving a 3 year sentence for getting drunk and hitting his girlfriend over the head with a hammer and he has served 2 so far. Well, 6 years ago, he went to jail for getting drunk and trying to steal my cousions tv. He served 2 years for that, then they let him out on probation, and made him drop pee test 1 time a week for a year. He was sober for a year after that, but he just keeps messing up. One time i called him because my mom wanted to get a DNA test for me and he said " I dont need to take a danm DNA test to tell that your my daughter" And that kind of hurt me because he cussed at me. Also, another time he came over here at 8 aclock on a summer night, and was drinking and was telling me all kind of stories. He told me that my mom tried shooting him. Then he aksed if me and my cousion wanted... read more below

Then he aksed if me and my cousion wanted to stay the night at my sisters house, because she was not there. So i said yes and he made us run in the rain, for a mile! Then we had my other cousion drive us the rest of the way. When we got there, he yelled at us and made us sleep in different rooms! The power waso ut and i woke him up cause i didn't know where the bathroom was and he told me to go to bed... i finnaly found the bathroom and went to bed.. the next morning, he made me and my cosuion walk 6 miles home and 1 was by ourselves... Is there any way possible, i can help him with this?

and my mom told me then nexy day that all the stories were lies

Answer 1

yes you can change him
but you need to do it in the most lving way

and also when he is sober and thinking clearly

and dont forget to worry about your saftey

good luck

Answer 2

I didn't even read past the third sentence to know what to tell you. I came from a household with an abusive alcoholic father and a seriously depressed mother. I grew up with childhood abandonment syndrome and parts of BPD. None the less it ruined my life, much in the way that alcohol has to yours. What you need to take out of your experience with alcohol is that is ruins lives, and you have first hand experience with that. If you are even thinking about going to a therapy then do it, it will be worth it in the long run trust me. I personally never steer anyone away from psychedelics though, so if that's something your interested in it is much healthier then alcohol. Peace and love.

Answer 3

I know that you want to help your dad but your dad really needs to help himself before any1 can help him. Its not worth trying to go out of your way and he doesnt really want to quit cause he wont have the will power. But maybe there is some councilling that you can research for him and yourself to make you both understand why he is doing what he is doing. Get some brouchers of what drinking can do to himself and family members and maybe leave them where he can see them and then he might think differently. It sounds like he has had a hard life, and thats why he is behaving this way. His girlfriend shouldnt really stick around cause he could really hurt her and then he will be in jail for a very long time. Its a wonder that the prisions dont have courses inside for him. They should be trying to help him not keep on putting him behind bars. Well i wish you luck and hope that there is somethink out there that will snap him out of his ways. Im not to sure if these sites will help you but have a read, he shouldnt be putting this stress on you as it might affect you later in years.

Answer 4

Sweet heart, your father needs more help than you can give him.
What you CAN do is tell him exactly how his behavior is affecting you in a letter or something. Preferably a letter because you can all of it down at once. Let him know that he has to want to change for whatever treatment to work. Let him know you dont like what is going on. You need a father who is there not just breathing and creating more problems than he's solving.
You are a wonderful child for wanting to help him. But recognize your strength and call someone who can do what you cant.

Answer 5

Nno one can make someone stop drinking, or get help for themselves. That is something only the alcoholic can do for themselves. There is a program called Ala-teen that can help YOU. It is a sister program to AA. See if there is a meeting near you. If your dad is violent when he is or isn't drinking there is more than just the alcohol problem to worry about. Your mother might want to check out Al anon for herself. Both programs are free and they may be able to help both. Good luck.

Answer 6

read more what below? Jerry Springer drama?

If he's an alcoholic and has been nothing but abusive and jailed for most of your life, I think you are clinging onto a dream of a father that doesn't really exist.

You can express to him your wish for him to be well, but that's about all you can do. You cant force him to do anything. I mean, he's an adult, he knows the conciquences and has lived them.

You should really concentrate on your education and learn from other's mistakes.

Answer 7

Sorry sweetie,There isn't anything you can do for him.I tried my whole childhood to make my dad better and it didn't help either.You can't help them.They have to help themselves.You need to live your life and do what you need to in order to make yourself o.k..You might not realize this yet but you need help to.Their addictions are a lot harder on us then them.I personally had a lot of trust issues when it came to men because the way my father was.If your father get violent when drunk you need to stay away from his.Especially if you aren't ready to stand up to him yet.I wasn't supposed to be around my dad growing up because he was also a violent drunk.My mom tried to keep him away from me has much has possible.But he always seemed to find us no matter were we moved to.I finally had to learn to stand up to him so I wouldn't get hit anymore.My dad was a drunk for over 30 years before he quit.And when he finally did quit it was on his own.Because he wanted to see me get married and I wouldn't let him come to my wedding smashed.He has been sober for 15 years now.And now than he doesn't drink I finally have the dad I always wanted.I hope that someday your dad figures out what he needs to in order to straighted out.But don't take on his problems you have the right to be happy.He is supposed to be the one who takes care of you not the other way around.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with these adult issues at your age.

Your father needs more help than you can give him. He needs some professional help and unless he's willing to get it, I don't think there's anything you can do.

Is there any support groups in your area that you can attend? You need to be able to talk to someone about your father's problems. Try to find a support group for families of alcoholics, it might help you deal with these issues.

God bless you.

Answer 9

Just let him know you love him and would like nothing more than to see him healthy. Tell him it's not too late to be the kind of Dad you need. Let him know you love him either way, but that he scares you when he's drunk. After that there's nothing more you can do.

Answer 10

No one can really help someone to stop drinking if they are not ready.

His best shot is to try to get help now, while he is serving his sentence, but it is still up to him.

You should look into going to AL-ANON meetings to find out how to heal your wounds from being the daughter of an alcoholic.

Answer 11

I hate to say this but he needs to go to a rehab. Until he does that there is no hope. You can't change him he needs a professional to do that. There is a program called Al anon, they can help you. Its a program that helps people in family's of alcohol. Give it a try

Good Luck