My husband and I are bitterly divorcing but have managed to agree temporarily to a joint stipulation parenting agreement. In this agreement, my husband is required to pick up the kids every other weekend-he lives 5 miles from us- or give at least 24 hour notice-for an emergency reason only-that he is not getting them.
Well-for the sixth weekend in a row, I have dressed and prepared my children for their visit only to be stood up-total no show. Now, I am required to make them available for pickup regardless and must plan my weekends around this schedule so I just dont think its fair that he has the right to just not show. Someone told me he didnt, actually, and I should file a contempt of court case.
So, my question is-can I even do that? Or can I just stop preparing my children for his visit and not wait on him? And, if I do file-must I pay my lawyer money I dont have to file or can I do it on my own?
2007-01-06 06:42:18 · 11 answers · asked by ajappe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would take him back to court and tell them this is not working for you....have it set to where you can email him or text him on his cell phone...this way there will be a record that you contacted him....if he does not respond in about 2 days...then he will not have his visitation with your children...keep track of everything trust me_
2007-01-06 06:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep a "visitation journal". Log EVERY date that is his weekend and record comments. When he shows up, when he doesn't, what time, anything you think is important. When you go in for the final hearing on the matter you can ask for reduced visitation (1 weekend a month) based on the information you provide. Is really does no good to file a contempt of court for a matter like this because a judge isn't going to make him put his visitation as a priority. But by reducing the number of times your children are subjected to this rejection (and that's exactly what it is) you are protecting them from emotional damage the father is inflicting on them. You will have to take him back to modify the custody agreement if it is final. And may I suggest NEVER go to court for anything regarding your children without your attorney!!
2007-01-06 09:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by mommyoftwo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a log and a journal of all dates that he has missed and there fore be ready and prepared to place them before a judge if needed. I believe I would think twice and possibly file for full custody, if he continued to be so narrow minded.
I am sorry that you are going through a bitter divorce however I feel for the children even more.Knowing they are not at fault in anyway however just being forgotten by their daddy.
I think I would keep separate bags packed and in a closet...keeping to your end of the bargain.
However having the children ready to go and rushing to do so...I wouldn't do it.
Keep planing your weekend as if your children are with you and if he happens to show then change them. If you need a sitter plan on having one that is more reliable then the father.
Putting the children through a roller coaster ride of emotions because of an irresponsible adult isn't worth it or their self esteem for that matter.
Sounds like you re going to have to put your emotions on the back burner and step up and take full responsibility >>as you have been. Go with the flow...for now.....for the children.
Best wishes
2007-01-06 07:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an attorney, I can tell you that this is a more complicated situation than you have described. How old are the kids, how is it affecting them?? You are compelled to comply with the court order to prepare your children. Your options are to sit down with him and civilly discuss how his poor parenting affect the kids, not you! Maybe this will make him realize that he needs to be a better father and spend more time with his children. If this doesn't work, get an attorney and file for full custody. If your income is low enough, you can go thru DHS and get reduced cost for your legal fees. It may also make a messy divorce more messy! Hope this helps.
2007-01-06 07:17:54 · answer #4 · answered by Lonnie F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun you should just file for soul custody of those kids it is apparent he doesn't want joint custody. Get custody and make him pay child support. You also need to call him before the visit to ask if he is showing or not. If that fails then just stop getting them ready for the visit if he can't let you know. I dare him to try and tell a judge you didn't have the kids ready for his visit after like the 7th time not even showing up.
2007-01-06 06:49:38 · answer #5 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My lawyer told me filing contempt of court against someone is a pain in the butt. I know it's very bad for your children to be aware of all of this, but he's digging his own grave in court. You need to record all of this, get 95% custody, and take him to the cleaners. As long as you are stable and loving your children will be fine. Some short term work with a therapist might help them too. Good luck, stay strong.
2007-01-06 07:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by redebeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always call Child Protective Services and report the problem. Ask them for help in filing the contempt charges and for full custody with supervised visits.
2007-01-06 06:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must comply with your portion of the order, even if he doesn't show up.
Do you really want to file for contempt? If so, what is your motivation...just to get back at him? Show your children that you are a bigger person and don't do it. Try talking to your ex about how it hurts your children when he doesn't show up.
2007-01-06 06:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not really, the best evidence is repeated violations...and repeated court hearings. The first time she will get a slap on the wrist...basically they will tell her she cant keep violating...If you have to bring her to court again then they will view it as more serious.
2016-05-22 23:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even court orders don't "make" people do things.
it's hard to force people to do things.
take it easy on prepping the kids. you can dress them if
he shows up. as far as the schedule, get backup child care if you have to work or something. you cannot counton him to
live up to the agreement at this point.
2007-01-06 06:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by Sufi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋