Okay! VERY SERIOUS ISSUE!!!! NEEDS SERIOUS ANSWERS!!?

Question

I am 23 and am depressed most of the time. I was born with a heart murmur and at 2 I had a heart cath. When I was 8 we found out that the doctor that had done the heart cath screwed up and I wound up having to have a pacemaker. Now I can't get a job because I have to put down that I have a medical condition and when they see it they make up an exuse not to hire me. I live with my dad still and I feel worthless and useless because I should be able to support myself by now. I feel like I'm a burden to my dad because he has to support me. I get dpressed alot and when I do I start thinking that it would be better for everyone around me if I were dead. That way I wouldn't be living off anyone and being a bum. I've tried to kill myself several times because I just got way too depressed and had these thoughts. I don't want to kill myself! Can someone please help!!!!! I've tried anti-depressants and therapists. Nothing has helped. PLEASE HELP!! This is a major cry for help. Thank You.

I have goals and I'm starting college Monday. I want to major in both pre-vet and CSI/Forensics. I love animals and they have always been my best friends. I have a dog and she is more my child than my pet. I trained her and everyone is always telling me how good of a dog she is. I think they are just trying to be nice. But I usually don't get alot of compliments. And with college I don't think I'm going to go anywhere. I want to but I feel like I'm going to fail. I don't think I will ever succeed at anything. I know alot of what the problem is I just don't know how to fix it. The only real friends I've had have been the animals I've taken in over the years. I haven't had any friends that told me anything nice about me and have had stepmoms that did nothing but phsycally mentally and emotionally abuse me. I was always being told I was stupid or something. Now nobody even really talks to me.

Answer 1

Hi Becca, I fully understand the feelings of worthlessness and wanting to die. All the doctors, therapists, and medicines were useless. I turned to alcohol and it turned on me and made me worse. Even tried to bump myself off a few times. What finally worked was a complete mental overhaul.... with a guidebook that showed me the way to do that. You have far too much to lose... I can see it in your words. The way you think can and does affect the way you feel. Once you learn this new way of thinking, the good feelings will begin to come. After awhile, the ideas start to flow and a new life begins. Rather than go on and on, why don't you read my story and see if how I got out might help you too. Please email me for clarification or more info:
http://www.geocities.com/seabulls69/AntidepressantThatWorks.html

Be sure to click around my website and see my animals, Moby and Periwinkles (and others).

Wish I could "talk" to some of these amazingly intelligent folks and tell them that there are cases, many cases, where medicines simply don't work.

Answer 2

Becca, I strongly suggest counseling again. A good therapist will help you with your depression. You are very fortunate to be able to live with your Dad. Trust me, you are not the only young adult living with a parent.

Do you have any hobbies that may be marketable? A craft that you might be able to sell? A need that you can provide that someone else lacks? Child care for working parents. A lot of people work full-time and need someone to do the things that they don't have the time for. In addition to child care, some people are looking for folks that can cook and/or clean house. You can also be a personal shopper/personal assistant. It's hard to believe, but there are people out there that don't have time to pick up their own dry-cleaning or run simple errands.

I'm sorry for your health problems. It's a shame, but pick yourself and dust yourself off. Take control of your future. (I'm not trying to sound harsh -- I don't mean it that way.) If you can't find a "traditional" job -- take the bull by the horns and create your own. It sounds as though your Dad is very supportive -- see if he will help you.

Good luck Becca. This is a whole new year -- a fresh start if you will. {{HUGS}}

Answer 3

I'm pretty sure it is against the law to ask someone if they have a medical condition before you hire them.

I've done a lot of hiring interviews and there are some things we were told by HR that we could NOT ask about: Religion, health, marital status, children are the ones I can think of, off hand.

Although there might be an exception that they can ask if you have a medical condition that would keep you from doing the job. So if you have to do heavy lifting and you have a bad back, for example. Or you can't be a driver if you have epilepsy.

(Check the Americans with Disabilities act)

Answer 4

How long did you try antidepressants and talk therapy? It takes time for the chemicals to alter your thinking and time to get to the bottom of your feelings. I say return to both.
As for being unemployable, that is simply not true. First of all, if you are qualified for a position, perhaps someone else with better qualifications also applied and was selected over you. Depression leads to a presecution complex sometimes. If you are in doubt about this issue, and legitimately think you have been discriminated against because of your physical condition and you CAN perform the job you sought, contact the governmental agencies that protect the rights of people with disabilities. Look in the blue pages of your telephone book.
Right now I think your biggest problem is thinking like a victim. You are ALIVE! That is a blessing. Your depression tells you that you are worthless. Chronically ill people often suffer despression, so give yourself a break on that account. Your depression, like your congenital heart condition, is not your fault, but you will have to engage in a battle royale to get rid of it! It is a battle you CAN win! Go back to therapy and INSIST that a medication be found that is effective for you. There are a lot of medications out there, one will work, but you have to be patient with the process and regulary inform your clinician about results and symptoms that persist. You have to be flexible.

God gave you a chance to live. Accept his wisdom and FIGHT for control in your life. Acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. If you would have been better off dead, he would have taken you by now. LIVE the life he gave you. Seek help and then live your life to glorify him by helping others. Contact the agencies that deal with heart disorders too. They can give you many insights and possibly even employ you!
God bless you.

Answer 5

Becca think of all the positives that you have in your life. Your dad would be devastated if anything ever happened to you. You have a pacemaker and that doesn't mean that you can't help others, such as children going through what you went through cope with challenges. I can understand your frustration and sadness but you have to understand that suicide is a lasting solution to a temporary problem You will find your gifts if you wait. Why not see about working with others. Go back to school you have enough life experience that you would be an asset to understand anther's feelings of grief and loss. In our society we seem to judge another by their job when in fact this is but a small facet of makes them fascinating and beautiful. Please go for some more help and don't give up on yourself because I believe in you and I am sure that so many others do as well.

Answer 6

Have you tried to seek counceling? it would really help your perception of yourself and the life you are living. Sounds like you need some motivation as well. We all get down in the dumps when we feel like we're not at the place we should be at our age. Try making up a resume and sell your future employer your best assets before they even see your medical history. Then they will have to realize that you are too good to pass up! Just get out there and be happy you have a dad. Some of us don't have fathers that would be there the way yours has. Be grateful for your life and those that love you. ; )

Answer 7

I feel so sad. When I was growing up my mom had depression. She would stay in bed all day and all night. And I have a little sister so I would cook breakfast and lunch and dinner for me and her, most of the time it was scrambled eggs becuase I was only 9 or 10 so that was really all that I knew how to cook. I would be the mother to my sister becuase mom couldn't do anything. I remember staying up all night whatching through my door and staring at the knives on the kithchen counter becuase I knew it wasn't safe I was afraid that she would get a knife and kill herself. I was soooo scared. one day the police came to our house and took me and my sister. We didn't know what was going on ! All they told us was that we were going to stay at a house with some people. a lady came over and picked us up and drove us to her house we played at her pool for a while but I was still worried and scared becuase I didn't know her. Then the lady took us to meet another lady and she took us to her house and we spent the night there. The next morning about 2:00 she took us to meet our grandmother who came down to make sure everything was alright. We figured out that my mom was sent to a depression center for people who thought that they were going to kill thereselves. So I hope you liked the story maybe it will give you some incouragement.

Answer 8

Does your heart condition prevent you from living a normal life? I mean, you list this as a medical condition on your applications, but what has it got to do with the particular job you are applying for? I mean, are you applying for jobs that require physical strength? or high stress?

I hope you aren't using your medical condition as an excuse.

There are many ways you can make a buck with a medical condition...I mean, I know people in wheelchairs with half a brain who have jobs, so I personally, cant understand your deliema. Maybe you aren't qualified for the jobs you are applying for.

My sister was harrassed and eventually fired for her medical condition, but it was hard to prove, her union did everything they could, but they could not prove it. Its hard. But its also easy to believe they are discriminating.

I worked with a 70something woman with a pacemaker, she was a great employee, she only quit because she broke her hip.

Sorry to sound like a dippy-hippy, but if you think positive, positive things will happen for you.

Good luck and good health to you...

Answer 9

LOOK. You got to make the best of it. Theres nothing you can do. All you gotta do is take it day by day. it sucks. i know. But what can you do? OK try and apply for jobs. Dont not do it because you think you wont get it. Stop thinking negatively. You have to live positive so you can have a positive life. If you dont get 1. apply for another.Your not worthless. Nobody is. There are people who have disabilites but that dosent mean there worthless. I have a heart porblem to (dont really know what it is cant afford the tests) but i dont sit and cry about it. i move on and try to live as happily as i can. If your at home and have nothing else to do then do something!!!! do something that makes YOU happy. Or try to help your father like cleaning around the house or something. i dont think im suicidal but i feel tired and i feel like going into a deep sleep and not waking up. I think this way because i want just to let go of all of my problems for a little bit. I think there is a point where everybody gets like this. but there are ways to prevent. try to do something u like. that will get u out of that mood. if u like dancing and singing, then dance and sing. look for postitive things to do. like i listen to postive music.(kirk franklin:looking for u) which helps. i go to sleep and when i wake up i get up and organize my problems and decide what to do.I will admitt i still struggle. but just HOLD ON. I BELIVE IN U. If ur friends dont get it then forget it. forget them. Dont give up. NEVER..... LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE WHO TOOK THE TIME TO ANWSER.LOOK. They CARE. they don't even know you and they CARE. F.u.c.k the people who give you problems. F all of them. Take time for yourself. Take time to think things over.Organized ur head n ur problems. Ur not worthless and you need to stop telling your self that. the only person that hates you is ypurself and you need to fix it. Because if you hate you then nobody can start to love you.........

Believe in yourself


Be brave...but it's ok to be afraid sometimes


Study hard


Give lots of kisses


Laugh often


Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number


Always try to see the glass half full


Meet new people, even if they look different to you


Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless


Take lots of naps..


Be weird whenever you have the chance


Love your friends, no matter who they are


Don't waste food


RELAX


Take an occasional risk


Try to have a little fun each day.
...it's important


Work together as a team


Share a joke with friends


Fall in love with someone..


...and say "I love you" often


Express yourself creatively


Be conscious of your appearance


Always be up for surprises


Love someone with all of your heart


Share with friends


Watch your step


It will get better


There is always someone who loves you more than you know


Exercise to keep fit


Live up to your name


Seize the Moment


Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between


Indulge in the things you truly love


Cherish every Sunday


At the end of the day... PRAY


....... and close your eyes

And smile at least once a day!

Answer 10

So you have time to try to understand who you are in actuality. You are not this fallible body, You are eternal spirit soul, part and parcel of the Supreme Soul, also known as Krishna, Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, etc. We have to reconnect so we can realize our constitutional position. This world is called Maya, (illusion) and is temporary and full of misery. (read the other guys question on suicide below I wrote the remedy their. Suicide never ends ones suffering, it only makes it worse. if one takes their own life they become a Ghost and suffer incessantly their misery. So that is out. and as you know meds don't really work. The quickest and easiest way to get out of illusion and suffering is to chant the maha mantra (the great mantra for deliverance from suffering and illusion) go to krishnaculture. for details and read Some Of Bhaktivedanta Prabhupadas' books. also go to stephen-knapp. for e-book They Key to real Happiness. I know this will change your life and you will feel purpose. Once you understand who you are and how it has changed your life maybe you could become a writer and make money that way.