"Gone"
I just realized that you're gone
every morning, every dawn
I sit and say
I wish I could redo that day
I didn't want it to end
So now I have to mend
My heart, everything once more
Just shutting the door
On you, and everything we had
Which makes me sad
Not wanting to start over, brand new
at least without you
Right beside me
How come I couldn't see
What I felt
and how I dealt
With all the pain and the urt
Not treating me like Dirt
How come I care so mauch
While you barely touched
me at all
Making me fall
Into pieces on the floor
Feeling heart broken once more
2007-01-06 06:35:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
that's great I give it a 10...seriously this is the best poem I've seen here. IT reminded me somewhat of "Paul's Song" because Paul's Song would be the opposite because he needs her...
2007-01-06 06:50:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
>7
2007-01-06 14:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by mr.JAW58 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is absolutely awesome...you should write songs!! Can I put that to music? And offer one suggestion? Instead of 'Feeling heartbroken once more', change the last line to 'Feeling like a broken heart once more'. Other than that, this is really good! I want to put it to music.....=)
2007-01-06 14:39:29 · answer #3 · answered by All!c@ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 points
2007-01-06 14:38:13 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Pretty♥ ♥Kitty♥ 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
To be completely honest with you, I liked your other one better - but this is still really good too! I can't write poetry to safe my life; you seem to have a really great rhythm when you write!
2007-01-06 14:40:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great! Very artistic!
2007-01-06 14:37:33 · answer #6 · answered by ╦╩╔╩╦ O.J. ╔╩╦╠═ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not like your writing style to be honest. I would rate it 6/10. You could of done alot better
PS. If you can not take criticism then your not a true poet
2007-01-06 14:39:28 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
kinda heartbreaking you ok? Here rosie has a hug for ya!!
2007-01-06 15:21:59 · answer #8 · answered by Rosie 89 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's way too long for me to read.
2007-01-06 14:40:18 · answer #9 · answered by Joel Is Depressed 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its good but i dont like it as much as your other poem :)
2007-01-06 14:37:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋