Men and child support.?

Question

Why do ex-husbands get so upset about having to pay child support. Don't they want to help financially with their kids?

Answer 1

I didn't want to pay child-support. I wanted my children. And I have them about 60% of the time.

She doesn't pay me anything, and I don't pay her anything. We both have jobs, I pay the kids expenses when they're with me, she does when they're with her. On major expenses we split the costs.

But... if a man doesn't want at least equal custody of his own children, then he should pay. But any man who doesn't want at least that much time with his kids isn't worth spit as a human being.

Answer 2

different men will have different answers. And I think it mainly has to do with the outcome of the divorce or separation of the couple.

If the couple does not get along, then it is likely the man will resent the mother and judge her on how she raises the kids. Especially if she is a stay at home mom. That is when he will feel like he is supporting her more so than the kids.


The same goes for mothers who withhold their kids from the father. If he's not paying then she's not going to let him see the kids. If he's mean to her, then he's not going to see the kids.

It takes two mature adults to come together and provide for their kids. It takes both parents to raise them emotionally, physically, and financially. But due to the anger between the two parties, they tend to try and punish the other. But in the end, it is the kids who suffers.

Please see my posting - "Child support or relationship"

Which would you rather have?

Answer 3

Well, since you have to ask, I will share some of my thoughts with you.

Because many times, the supposed support doesnt support the kids, but the moms or moms and other guys wants.

Marriage is a business deal as much as anything else. I always figured that in cases where Mom just doesnt want to be married anymore, or she cheats or she falls out of love, she has simply guit her job of wife, and they dont pay you for work when you have quit. (Now, if I quit my job or get fired or something, my kids pay right long with me. I mean, kids pay the price as parents do, in lay offs, fired, quit, bad business deals, etc. That is just how it is. I mean, if a person gets fired or quits, they have to say to little Johnny that he cant have this or that right now, because you dont have the money because you arent working right now.) If Mom wasnt cheated on and she quit her job, it isnt fair to the kids but it isnt fair to the husband either. She should have to live with the decisions she made and pay for those decisions and explain to the kids why they dont live as the once did.

The amounts. Look, we know what it takes to raise a kid and for the most part, men get riped on the child support. It doesnt usually take nearly as much as they are charged to support a childs needs. I said needs, not wants.

Many women use child support as an excuse or hammer, when they dont have a right to do so.

Because many times, the Mom always wants to play games about what she agreed to or is suppose to do, yet she will scream about the check. Many women will play games about seeing the kids or about things with the kids, but they want that money.

Much of the time, if the man get a dollar raise, Mom wants her cut, all while trying to hide the four dollar raise she gets.

This give you any clues?

By the way, if you dont want to face the fact that women can be vindictive wenches, just look at some of the comments they posted as answers. You women have no right to harp on or be critical of men or to think you are any better then men are. Just look at what some of you gals post here and see how you prove this point.

Answer 4

I have joint custody with my ex-husband, so there is no child support in order at this time. My concern if I was the one paying the child support would be whether the money is actually being spent on things the children need or have to have.....meaning bills, food, clothes, outings for the kids, stuff for school, etc. If it's not being used for that then I would be upset. (and yes it happens, that the mother use it for her own use....clothes for her, going out and all that...) Otherwise, I don't really know what the problem men have with paying it (or women if the father has custody).

Answer 5

It's loss of control of the money and they have no say in how it's spent. And the amounts the courts come up with are usually questionable. Yes, it costs a lot to raise a child, but the parents already went through the negativity of a divorce and still have to deal with each other via the courts. And if the kids come over wearing something the father disagrees with the mother on, i.e $120 tennis shoes, it just causes animosity.

Answer 6

I pay $1000 per month for one child that I have overnight 10 nights per month. I don't think it costs $1000 per month for the 20 nights that my son is with his mom. I have a fairly good income, and the amount is calculated by my income vs. her income and % of visitation. I don't like the formula because it allows my ex to work part time and qualify for state aid and the earned income credit because she doesn't want/have to work more because she get's more from me and the state if she has a low income. So yeah I do get upset at the situation - not so much because of the money - it's because I have to pay more when she's a slacker, and she set's a bad example for our son.

Answer 7

My ex-wife evaded paying child support for six years.......and now only makes a "token" payment now and again.....It's more expensive for me to take her back to court than to just get by the best I can....Why do you think it is exclusively men who are "dead beats!?" Statistics support that approximately 80% of the time men pay when ordered to pay child-support, whereas only 60% of women pay when ordered to do so. Dead beats are selfish and pathetic no matter whom they are. The children are the ones who suffer. Who cares who gets upset, if the children are due child-support, ensure the court makes the order and it happens. Good luck!

Child support paid MEN / WOMEN

ANY ~90% ~80%

FULL ~80% ~60%

Answer 8

Not trying to burst your bubble here, but non-custodial women are just as bad.
I got custody of my kids 13 yrs ago, and rec'd a grand total of 4 checks amounting toi about 600 dollars. Every time I would ask my ex about it, she'd pop off with some comment about it always being about the money with me.
Irresponsible people come from both sexes, not just men.

Answer 9

It must be a man thing. They need to understand that just because they are divorced the kids still NEED things. Shelter, food, clothing, etc. I think men look at it is a punishment to pay their ex. sopport. Alot of times the support amount ordered does seem a bit high depending on the state your in. Men need to realize, the children are still their responsiblity and they need to help support them even after a divorce!

Answer 10

It really has nothing to do with that. ALL men that pay child support think the money is being spent on you, and not the kids. They seem to fail to realize that it is re-embursing you for SOME of the money it takes to raise children. That includes a portion of rent, groceries, utilities, and clothing. Let alone the many many many other expenses that go with raising children.