I am 25 yrs old my bf and i have have started to talk about getting married.Over the christmas holiday he introduced me to his family which went over okay once they got over the initial shock that i was white apparently he forgot to mention this to them before hand.I thought i was very polite to all of them in every way even though i had to fly to huston from NY at was a bit tiered .Everbody was nice to me or at least polite except for his younger sister (21) who felt the need to grill me on a million and one different things.She even asked why i was dating a black man and if all the white guys in the world were taken?Then went into my first marriage that lasted a year and half asking if i as bad in bed for my husband to have left me.Where my morals were as an ex. model and even if i as a bad example for my daughter!
2007-01-06 06:00:45 · 10 answers · asked by Caterina L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My bf is african american and i am German/brazilian.I had my daughter with my ex. husband when i was 21 ys old he cheated on me while i as pregnant.I did modeling jobs during highschool and college for extra cash nothing to ugly though.
2007-01-06 06:05:15 · update #1
She sounds pretty immature, overprotective and looking for reasons to dislike you. Just remember you're marrying your boyfriend not his family. Be polite and respectful of her feelings but you don't have to be best friends. Best of luck.
2007-01-06 06:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom in regulation hated me too. Years of having to be the bigger person and tears have ended up giving me a sturdy relationship along with her. It started out undesirable, yet once you're consistently a sturdy person... stressing consistently the extra effective person, you will win interior the tip and it will likely be ok. we've been married 10 years now. EDIT: Confronting her will purely make her protecting. that could be a gradual conflict, not something you could purely wipe away with a communique for sure.
2016-12-15 17:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maibe it's a case of xenophobia ,she needs to get to know you a little more,she is young ! try to be friendly and overlook remarks made,sometimes people do not mean what they say,try to be open with her and tell her that you would like to be part of the family regardless the colour of your skin, after all it's what inside that count you should not feel uncomfortable with one another for a minor thing ,communication is a great tool therefore use it ! you can tell her that love is blind and sees no difference and that you were perhaps to young to get married the first time ,in regard of sex this is a question that doesn't regard anyone it should remain private. in regard of your daughter I assume that she is very young still,therefore you have plenty of time to set the good examples for her, live your life in honesty and you have nothing to be afraid of. Good luck!
2007-01-06 06:22:23 · answer #3 · answered by bornfree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These types of situations are known as emotional incest, his sister obviously has it, the best thing to do is not let her get involved in your relationship and set boundaries, shes just jealous of you apparently, what did your fiance say about what she said? He stood up for you I hope , if not then the best thing for you to tell your fiance is that he does need to stand up for you because if you did yourself then it would make you look like the bad guy, and that would make the situation even more "hairy" so he needs to do the job, especially if she does this again, he will need to tell her she is going to be my wife, and that she needs to respect you, and that anydisrespect to you is disrespect to him, and that if she rejects you, then shes rejecting him away from the family as well. this should get the point across, remember the two of you must stand united and strong in order to make this work. Good luck and for even more advice from people who have really similar situations, visit www.ihatemyinlaws.com to get help on yours or read others and apply it to your situation. again good luck
2007-01-06 07:23:20 · answer #4 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's tough. I'm sorry and hope the best for you. It honestly sounds like it could be one of two reasons.
1. It's her brother and she's trying to protect him in her own wierd way.
2. She is racist.
I would sit down with your boyfriend and explain what happened and hopefully he can shed some light on how she works and what you can do to make the situation a little more comfortable.
2007-01-06 06:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by GraceSlickChick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is just jealous. Plus just maybe she is a bit of a racist-who knows. As far as her wanting to know about the sexlife she had no right getting that personal-I would have told her i appreciate your conecrn for your brother, but what my sex life is or was like is none of your business and appreciate you never going there again. She will either shut up, or walk off-but she will eventually get over it.
2007-01-06 06:09:31 · answer #6 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has no right to grill u, she is prejudice against white people, and doesn't want her brother to marry u, so she grilled u to find out everything about u, so she can use it against u. she is very disrespectful, and judge mental and doesn't look as if she will ever be someone u can like. but when we marry someone we do marry their families also. will u be living in your home town or his, will u be close to his family, if so i would think twice about the marriage, especially if he did not speak up and defend u when his sister was grilling u. how rude she was.
2007-01-06 06:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm surprised you let the conversation go on for so long. You should have got up and walked away mid-sentence of her very first question. You don't have to put up with that crap. She'll only keep doing it if you let her. Her brother isn't anymore of a prize than you are!
2007-01-06 06:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by Lala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's a racist. She doesn't like you because of the color of your skin. She is probably jealous of you as well. If you were a model your probably good looking and she probably doesn't like you for that either. Don't sweat it. If you and your boyfriend end up married, she will either have to change her ways or get lost. What matters is what you have with your man.
2007-01-06 06:13:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could have just been a shock for her.. give her time..and get to know each other..you are marrying him not her.. and she is young so maybe she just could not hide her shock as good as the older people could
2007-01-06 15:06:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋