What to do?

Question

My fiance broke off with me and left me feeling very unresolved, unclear about the issues/reasons, hurt, angry and very vulnerable. She acted cold, distant and somewhat blamed me for the break up plus her whole behavior and attitude was very unlike herself and actually shocked me and still is. She did not leave room for any discussion and closure is the hardest thing for me at this point with all these unresolved feelings. I love her still, feel crushed but don't want to hate or retaliate. Should I contact her and confront her once the emotions have settled a bit?

Some people say that she is guilty of something...what are some clear signs of a person feeling guilty and not being honest about it?

Answer 1

I know it is hard when they break it off without an explanation or anything. A lot of times when we still care we start having wishful thinking that maybe it was all some kind of mistake, maybe something we said or done that we can clear up. I call that....grasping for straws.....in others words we don't want it to be over so we start imagining all sorts of things to get the one we care about back. If you feel that you would like to know why she broke up with you, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't. But, I would wait like you said until your emotions settle a little. We all want to know "why".

Answer 2

Wow, you could almost be me a few years ago in the exact same sitation. I hope you do better than I have with getting over it. I withdrew too much into myself as a response and my head turned into a giant echo chamber that amplified all my unanswered questions, agonies, and uncertainties. I recommend that you avoid this. Try not to think about it; some things just don't give you the answers you are looking for. Go out and get a floozy and treat her either really well or really badly. It doesn't much matter which. And try to forget your troubles. Good luck.

Answer 3

You should wait for a little bit. Such an abrupt change was caused by something. It may have been something that you did that hurt her, even though it may not been serious enough for you to consider. She may just need some space, or there may be other things in her life that are stressing her out. Give her time and then give her a call. If it doesnt work out just know you did all you could.

Answer 4

If she is that "cold, and calculated", most likely it would not do any good to contact her. My advice is to let her contact you if, and when , emotions have settled a bit. If she never does, then she never does, but can you imagine living the rest of your life with a person that cold, and heartless? I'm not being mean....just "food for thought". I know you're hurting...but let her call you! Good Luck!!

Answer 5

I think you're in HEAVY denial...you should have some idea as to why she broke things off.
Think long and hard about this...nothing makes a woman angrier than a man in denial.
If she made this decision quickly...she probably met someone else.

I bet the signs were there if you'll be more reflective...

Answer 6

Yes, contact her. I wouldn't wait too long. Try not to be confrontational, try to listen. Sounds like maybe someone else has been telling her some stories from what you said about the whole change in her demeanor. Good luck.

Answer 7

The way she is acting I assume she has another man and doesn't want to take responsibility for it so she finds little things you do to justify it and acts cold to you because she is transferring her guilt into anger towards you.

Answer 8

As the saying goes if you love someone let them go and if it is meant to be they will come back.

Answer 9

Let it go. If she cared how you feel she would of let you know. Move on good luck

Answer 10

Let it go, if she wants to talk she contact you....