I've never had sex, and I'm afraid of having sex with anyone. I know I'm a freak, but I just can't do it. For me sex is gross, dirty, awful, etc. I'm a person who can't stand watching porn movies for 30 seconds.
I have a boyfriend, and once he asked me to have sex, but I said that I didn't want it now, I don't want to have sex before marriage. But day after day, I feel like I don't want to have sex in my life. I'm afraid that one day someone would like to marry me, but I couldn't say "yes", because a marriage can't work without sex.
What should I do?
2007-01-06 05:40:33 · 11 answers · asked by renee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm 18 years old.
2007-01-06 05:45:55 · update #1
You safer use sex is gross, dirty and awful…. but you also say that you have not had it? So it seems to be only your visualization and not your physical experience that is turning you off. You do say you can't watch a porn film for more than 30 seconds. Most women don't like porn films anyway so that's not really an issue. But what in the porn film is really bothering you? What they did? How they did it?
You say you know you're a freak…. why'd you say this about yourself? It's not unusual to be afraid of what you don't understand or have not experienced.
You say you don't wanna have sex before marriage but then you add you may not want to have sex ever. In your particular situation you should definitely experience sex way before marriage. It would certainly be a horrible marriage to get into where after you try sex you don't want it for the rest of your married life !!!
You say that sex is gross…. but I find cleaning underneath the bed a lot grosser then playing on top. You have not been very clear on what's really making you feel these ways. I've met some women where their parents drilled into him that sex was bad. They certainly did have a difficult time becoming sexually comfortable… but eventually they did.
Realize with sex you don't have to do everything that's in the book.
Mark
Author GirlsTellAll
2007-01-07 12:39:38 · answer #1 · answered by GirlsTellAll.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a freak.
The sex before marriage thing...Not a good idea...
Would you buy a car BEFORE a test drive?
When you find the right guy, you will feel comfortable enough to play a little bit at a time. You don't have to jump right in and "do it". That's not how it works. Just let yourself get lost in making out. Then, later, let him touch you a little. Then, after that, a little more. Slowly build up to it and you should be ok. Just be patient.
I must warn you...Not many guys out there have the patients to work with you thru your fears.
One thing to start on is that sex is NOT a dirty, evil thing. I grieve for those that have been taugh that. The feelings surrounding the whole "making love" thing is undescribeable.
2007-01-06 13:47:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
im just like you i was so scared to have sex but then i met this guy i fell inlove with it was kinda a mistake but i guess when the right moment comes youll be ready but dont give it up to someone unless you know that you are really inlove with them because i made that mistake and i wish i could go back and change it...if you love the person that you have sex with then it wont seem dirty
2007-01-06 13:47:36 · answer #3 · answered by tabbie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm speechless. thats realy awful. Did you have any childhood traumas or anything that could have triggered those feelings?
I'd advise therapy. In the meantime, you should never do anyhting you don't feel comfortable or don't want to. It's always your decision, remeber that. gud luck girl.
2007-01-06 13:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by barbarita 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 18 I would agree with those who said counseling. And get it fast.
2007-01-06 14:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling. Maybe you were raised to think that sex was dirty but its not. You need psychotherapy.
2007-01-06 13:43:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kendra H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just chill out and dont worry about sex. whenever you are dating a guy, make sure he knows where you stand on that, and vice versa. the right guy will respect that belief and it will be ok
2007-01-06 13:43:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either get counseling for this fear, or become a nun.
2007-01-06 13:46:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't say how old you are but i suspect you are very young. when you get older, most of your current feelings will change.
2007-01-06 13:44:42 · answer #9 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! i cant think of anything to help you. tell your bf to stop pressuring youâ¥
2007-01-06 13:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by ♥la chica♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋