Well, me and my best friend have known each other for about 4 years. We are almost totally different, yet we get along. However, whenever I am invited to her house to sleep over, etc. I get very bad anxiety. She is into boys, big-time! I'm not. I mean, sure, there are some that I have liked but I am not like her. Just a few days ago she talked to me and told me she has a boyfriend, and that "oh my gosh we can all hang out and then he can hook you up with his friends!" I DON'T want too! Those aren't the guys that I like, they are 2-3 years older than me and I don't want to be with that. I really feel like my other friends are more like me and I feel more comfortable with them. I don't get anxiety hanging out with anyone else. It's just this one girl. I can't exactly tell her what I think, I KNOW what the reaction is going to be. I just wish she was more like me and wanted to actually be a kid. What can I do? Plus, our mom's are very good friends, I can't really not be friends with her.
2007-01-06 05:19:42 · 7 answers · asked by Evie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It just makes me feel very uncomfortable, when she starts talking about the boys and stuff.
2007-01-06 05:20:22 · update #1
If you have known each other for four years... its long enough to be able to tell her your feelings. You both have been honest with each other, I'm assuming, and if you start the conversation with her with "I want to be totally honest just like you are to me..." and let her know that you are just uncomfortable and aren't at that stage in your life where boys are top priority. (I'm sure you can word that to suit your style) she cant really argue with you about how YOU feel. I think you should be the person YOU want to be and not feel forced into a situation that makes you uncomfortable. You seem like a very together person.. trust your basic feelings!
Best of Luck!
2007-01-06 05:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by thebe_gl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem as you, even though my friend loved me I had anxiety thinking about the sleep overs, and things. I learned to spend more time with my other friends. Our moms were friends too, and we kept a relationship, but not the best friends ever. I got the courage to tell her that I wasn't really into that stuff, and surprisingly she understood. When I was ready, I found guys on my own for me. (I moved to a new school in 9th grade, and also met many more people) You just have to learn to accept that that is how she is going to be, don't try to change her but talk to her about what you want. Relax, and know that you are going to find more friends that will probably be more like you. I did, but I am glad I went through that. It makes me appreciate my friends even more.
2007-01-06 13:37:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many types of friends and they all don't fit into the same category. Also, some friends come into our lives, stay a while, and then go on there way, sad, but true. You and your friend have differences, okay, there is nothing wrong with that. Can you respect each other for who you are? If you are really good friends then the answer should be "yes". Communicate with her! This is what good friends do. You should be able to be who you are with her without pretending to be somebody else, who wants that kind of stress?! As well, you should repect her choices, offer advice when asked or needed, but don't be quick to judge. Friendships seem to have a life of their own. As we grow up, our interests change and so do our friends. We really can't hold on to them they way they were or the way we want them to be, that would be silly. Respect her choices, but most of all respect your own.
2007-01-06 13:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by emptysky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hope to maintain a great relationship with her you need to have limits and this is obviosli one of them. You are not so into boys at this age and it is very understandable. Its good to take your time in life, it makes you come out a more mature person and enjoy every bit of your life process. You should be able to be comfortable in the prescence of your frineds. Plainly put, if you feel she will be a negative influence on you, spend less time with her. My mum is great friends with people who have kids I dont particularly like who used to come over to my house everyday. At first I was like you, very polite and silent about my situation. One day i simply said it very frankly that they were disturbing me when they came over so frequently. You can find your own way to reudce the time spent with her. Its all part of Life to learn to say No.
2007-01-06 13:31:02 · answer #4 · answered by Theodore S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and eplain this to her if she is really your friend and cares about your well being she will stop the non-stop pushing of it. on the other hand you have to be kinda willing to listen to what interests her tell her that that you will listen but you are not ready to do these things yourself. if she gets mad or disregards you she was never your friend to begin with, this is a true test to see how great your friendship really is~
2007-01-06 13:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by pa625 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yell her straight up that you're not into older guys and you're not ready for that. If she's really your friend she will respect that
2007-01-06 13:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by ashesofthewake2409 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need 2 have a talk wit her duhh
2007-01-06 13:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by morgan b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋