It is coming up to one of my close friends mothers death of one year, she has been through loads last year in short, mum died,damaged eye, broke bones! It was also on run up 2 xmas her bday, anniversary of dads death, xmas, new year etc.. so a bad time i have been there and supported her through all this, she is married with kids but at times couldnt talk to them so i was there. She in return has been there for me through stuff.
But what i would like to know is any advice on how i can help her through the first anniversary as i understand this is going to be the hardest time for her. I will not and have not changed with her i am still me which was important to her.
But any advice/help on how i can help her?
Thanks giraffe
2007-01-06 05:19:28 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i always find that when you lose someone its best to sit down on their anniversary have a few drinks and talk about the person speak about all the good times they had together.cry a bit because its normal.
i also believe the dead are still around us in spirit i talk to my dad and nan, at times when im low and it makes me feel a whole lot better. i think this lady is lucky to have such a great friend like you.
2007-01-06 05:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sad time for your friend. The first anniversary is the hardest, its like going through it all again. She's lucky to having someone as understanding as you. Phone her on the day (first thing) and let her know you are thinking about her and if she needs anything, absolutely anything, she just has to ask. You need to play this according to her wishes and feelings and depending on what sort of person she is she might want to be left alone in which case she will know you are thinking of her and if on the other hand she wants you to spend the day with her be there for her without being sombre but also without trying toooo hard to be funny ... hard this one - but as long as she knows you are there for her, leave it at that.
2007-01-06 08:49:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Situations like this are always hard not just on the anniversary days but anytime.You have obviously been a true friend and very loyal and your friend relys on you alot.Just keep doing what you have been doing but also ask your friend if there is anything that she wants to do that you can do.......good luck.
2007-01-06 05:46:38 · answer #3 · answered by sarah y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can give her is time. For the first anniversary try to get her away as far as possible fron her normal routine and everything that reminds her of those terrible events. It's a distraction I know but in a strange enviroment in a new situation she can only turn to you.
2007-01-06 05:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like an excellent friend and i am sure she is well aware that you are there for her... see i am a hard nose cow when it comes to things like this only because i been through it so many times and believe it is best to remember the person who died in a good light, i do not go for all this sorry, i dont know what to say to comfort u, rubbish...it just makes people feel sorry for them-self... i am not sure if you knew her mum but if you did dig out some old photo's pref funny ones sit down have a drink and laugh about the past... i learnt to be grateful for having many special people in my life for it my life would have been alot sadder had i not had them at all...!!!! good luck and i know i am not your pal but thank you for caring for your mate for we all need a good friend, and it's good to know she is not alone!!!!
2007-01-06 06:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by thenickistar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend was in a similar situation except she moved away and she was in a different country for the anniversary of her mothers death...she was alone but she got through it...
keep being yourself, if she wants to grieve let her grieve, but act as though its any normal day, if thats what she's doing...perhaps do something with her, take her shopping, keep her mind occupied to take her away from things.
this probably hasnt helped but i know my friend used her day like she would any other even though deep down she was upset
2007-01-06 05:27:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple, do NOT dwell on the negative bad things in your lives.
Celebrate ALL the GOOD times you may have had together.
Life IS hard, so try to be positive at ALL times.
A loving relative would NOT want you to be miserable.
2007-01-06 09:23:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her, go with her to the grave, be her suppot her shoulder to cry on. Help her write a letter to take to her mothers grave. Seeing you are there for her as a friend should halp out a lot! Good luck, and you must be a very good friend!
2007-01-06 05:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the greatest thing we can leave behind when we pass over to the other realm is our off spring. its what her mother and father would want. we all die, let her know that. her parents have left a bit of themselves in her and her kids and thier kids to continue the line. from death comes life. the circle must continue, thats the reality of living.
2007-01-06 11:13:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might need time to be alone to sort through things in her mind, so offer to look after her kids for a day or something
2007-01-06 05:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by Vimbai M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋