My bf is leaving me and our son again.He hasn`t even appeared for his things.He phoned me earlier and said his head was up his backside,meaning confused,this is exactly what happened the last time,his phoe has sbeen off since yesterday so he obviously doesn`t want to talk.I haven`t seen him since thursday,he`s been drinking since then i take it but still at work.
He says he will be over to speak to me tonight and i asked if he was coming for his stuff again,he didn`t answer said he didn`t want to talk on the phone and that he is sorry but he doesn`t think things are working out.
I have changed since last time,i started taking driving lessons and doing an open university course but he hasn`t changed one bit,he still drinks like a fish and stays out all weekend taking drugs and boozing.My son took it really bad last time,didn`t want to live here etc,he`s only 4 and has learning difficulties,can`t speak.
I cant handle this again,i love him.should i just let him leave??
2007-01-06 04:52:11 · 19 answers · asked by onlyme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I`m only 24 and he was my first love we`ve been together 6 years.I just feel really down and scared again.I wish we`d never got back together as i`d be over him by now.
2007-01-06 04:53:35 · update #1
you definately need to move on. this pattern is never going to stop, and will probably only get worse. i understand you love him, but its obvious he doesnt love you. if he did he wouldnt keep putting you through this..and he isnt stopping to think about what this is doing to your son. from the sounds of it the poor lil fella has enough to deal with without watching dad leave every lil while. it will hurt for both of you at first, but you will definately be better in the long run. its time to let him go hun
2007-01-06 05:08:51 · answer #1 · answered by jeneric803 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but I think its time to move on not only for your sake but for also your son's. Yeah I hope he still comes around to see your son but this coming and going crap is non sense. I say pack his crap up and set it out side and have the locks changed. Take a stand (something he will not expect) and tell him you are the one that is done and until his head is out of his back side and can prove it and stay that way the only time he should call or stop over is to see his son.
Best of luck to you
2007-01-06 05:00:01 · answer #2 · answered by workit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before I even read the word "drugs" in your question, I saw red flags go up for the behavior of an addict. He has the classic behavior...
You know, life is about difficult choices, and right now you are faced to make one for not only yourself but also for your child. You owe yourself and your child better, as hard as that is to do. And you might do your boyfriend a huge favor by no longer supporting him and letting him hit rock bottom.
A drug addict has an addiction that runs deeper than any love even love for their own life. He isn't in any shape to be playing house with you and your son. And you have to be the level headed adult here and make a better decision than he has. You convey to him that you and esp. your son does not deserve better.
I know it is hard, and I wish you the best of luck!
2007-01-06 05:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry honey. If he is an alcoholic and is the type of man who is unstable and would leave you and your son twice, you are better off without him. I know it is scary and sad to admit, but do you really want to put your son through that again? Good luck to you!
2007-01-06 04:58:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think babe that you know the answer to your question....you said it yourself - you would be over him by now if you didnt love him. If you really wanted him and loved you he would know that you would never get over him.
You areyoung still and you will find someone else.....when he does feel like talking make sure you dont take no crap and if he wants to give itanother go make sure you tell him that there are conditions - there has to be changes cos you defo aint happy.
Good Luck xxx
2007-01-06 05:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by KLW 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been single for ages and it pisses me of when a bloke can be such a t**t. leave him! There are a million more men out there that will treat you like a princess you can do better. it may hurt for a while but be strong and a way better man will turn up!
2007-01-06 04:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get his things out, or you'll throw them out. When he comes over tonight, which I don't personally think you should allow, conduct "business in a business fashion", then he needs to leave. If more than that, you're opening yourself up to more pain and misery. Your son doesn't deserve it, you don't deserve it, and he doesn't deserve YOU! Time to "take a stand!"
2007-01-06 04:58:26 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds really immature,let him go,you seem to be trying hard to be successful in life,don't let the Muppet drag you down,you know you will be ok in a few month and he is not the kinda person you want around your little boy,take care
2007-01-06 04:58:08 · answer #8 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If drinking is his first love and he is not prepared to stop for you, please, please get rid of him. Your life will be a total misery if you stay and that is not fair on you or your child. You deserve better than that. You are obviously trying to make something of your life and he will only hold you back I promise you that . Ask youself do you want a nice safe peaceful happy life for you and your child or do you want him with his priorities being drink and booze.
2007-01-06 05:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by charlotte 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
move on you can do better. respect yourself more by dumping this waster. as hard as it is because hes your 1st love you will find someone that will appreciate you and your son and you'll wander what the hell you saw in this guy.
don't waste life being like this and don't waste precious moments with your son with a waster like that.
sounds harsh but you'll understand when you meet someone that truly loves you.
2007-01-06 05:20:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋