what is your way to resolve serious disputes with your spouse. does it work?

Question

I am talking about issues where you do not see things the same way, differences in perception. Are you able to resolve them?
Or simply sweep them under the carpet (or bedcovers) until they come up again.
1) Have you tried your advice?
2) Does it actually work for the serious stuff?

Answer 1

My wife and I sit down and calmly talk about these issues and discuss what we can do to resolve these issues.

Yes I have tried it and yes it does work for the serious issues.

Answer 2

Keep trying to talk through the serious disputes. Sweeping emotions and thoughts under the rug only results in each of you harboring ill feelings in the relationship. A close friend of mine has some strong differing political opinions than his live-in girlfriend. It's been a learning process for me to watch how they're able to respect each others differing views. They highlight the similarities! They don't ignore their different opinions; they just respect each other and their differing views. They've taught me that two people can work past some serious disputes, and have a healthy relationship.

Answer 3

Being someones spouse doesn't mean that you will agree on
every issue. Even serious ones. You wouldn't want it to be that
way. If it was you would be bored.
Just let each other know that you both are independent of each
other and you will both have the freedom of accepting each other
and respecting their oppinions.
Talk about the issues and then come to common ground
in a compromise over what will make you both happy.
Don't discuss the BIG issues in anger. This gets everyone
nowhere.
Be respectful of each other by allowing each other to have
different views, but find a common ground to agree by
accepting and compromising.
Good Luck

Answer 4

Talking things over. Let one person talk for l or 2 minutes with no
interruptions and then the other person gets to talk also with no
interruptions, It works well, You really don't hear what another person is saying if you are talking at the same time. Also you have
to learn to compromise. You can say something like, "I'll let you pick our vacation place this year, if we can spend the holidays with my
relatives". Don't be headstrong. It's not always important to win.
Remember you can't change a person, only the way you react towards them.

Answer 5

I agree with Marge D answer....my husband and I have different opinions about many things, we have loud fights that eventually get resolved by coming to an understanding of each others opinions and we compromise or agree to disagree. The key is to listen with an open mind and respect the opinion of your spouse, and yeah I know how difficult that can be. Just remember you love and married that person for how unique and different she is from you.

Answer 6

I let things build up too long before I tried to talk to my ex . Then when I did try and talk to him he told me I was trying to be a shrink. He never want to solve anything he just sweep it under the rug . The rug finally became a mountain . Between the lies and not talking to me and the cheating and the stealing. You can't hold a marriage together. One person can't do it alone. Talk to each ohter Get some one to council you. We were past that point in our marriage. Life an learn.

Answer 7

YES!
YES!
Me and my wife talk over everything that becomes an issue between us.
Men and women are usually different, physically & mentally.
It is that age old problems that keeps us saying: "We can't live with them and we can't live without them"!
I always find that if me and my wife set down and talk for as long as it takes that we always work everything out (this is us).
We both love each other and we both want each other.
We also set rules that we both abide by.
1. We dont go to sleep mad at each other.
2. We both talk out our feelings.
3. We both listen.
4. We both talk.
5. We both trust each other.
6. and we keep an open mind.
I get high strung at times and my wife seems to take alot the wrong way when I am saying things to her usually when I am not watching what I have just said.
For example I told her that I loved her big butt, well this hurt her feelings and she thought that I was making fun of her big butt, I was only giving her a compliment.
Next thing was, I got upset and she got offended, this led to us having to calm down and talk it out and explain each others feelings to each other and it ended well, we do this before we go to sleep each night. As well as telling each other every night that we love each other and kissing, it has been our routine for 19 years and our romance has survived.

Answer 8

There seems to be some issues that a husband and wife will never agree on. Both should must learn to compromise on those issues. Try to understand the others position even though you dont agree with it.
It does work on most issues.

Answer 9

We sit down and calmly talk things out. who ever is talking the other has to JUST listen. Favorite Quote" How can you hear me when you are talking" Sometime its good to wait on your answer.
We don't always agree. One time I asked my husband if we could beat a dead horse. (yes I asked him just like that) That meant talk about something we have talked about many times before. The subject doesn't matter . The point is what he said that night and how the conversation went was so helpful I know I will never have to bring it up again.

Answer 10

The fact that you have problems is not the issue it's how you handle the problems. Create a safe environment for your spouse to communicate. You do this by listening carefully, validate their feelings rather you agree or not. Do not attack, blame, deny or avoid. This creates a safe environment and now you can negotiate. Try to make a win win solution not win lose.