Why would a man imagine he could be endlessly critical & mean-spirited & expect you to desire sex with him?

Answer 1

Hey just me, it's because he's only thinking of himself and not about his partner. Because in his mind, he can treat her like crap and expect her to open up and give him sex whenever he wants.

And I think it's a BIG mistake.

I know from personal expirience, I did that to my wife, and it caused alot of pain and loss of trust in me on her part. And it took alot of time and hard work and effort on my part to rebuild that trust, and to earn her love. Marriage counceling helped too.

Also when it comes to sex, men and women are turned on differently, us men are visual creatures, we are turned on by what we see, where as women are more turned on by events, like say I come home from work, and my wife has cleaned the house and I sit down in my favorite chair and I can't find my newspaper and I critisize her for putting it somewhere else, or the remotes. And say she was in a mood to have a special evening, and she makes my favorite dinner but makes it a bit differently, and I complain and critisize it, and she wants to have a candle lit dinner, and I complain about it being too dark. That's just gonna kill her mood for sex. Because she's not feeling appriciated.

And I think that's alot of it for you, is you don't feel appriciated. And if you don't feel appriciated why would you be at all interested in having sex with him. Took me learning this from almost going through a divorce, and it's something alot of men either don't know, don't realize or don't care about but they should.

Answer 2

Because, generally speaking, some men do not see the connection. Women tend to tie emotions into sex. For some men, emotions (re feelings) have little if any connection to their desire for sex so they literally "do not get it" when a woman allows "feelings" about outside (re nonsexual) events to influence her desire for sex. Some say men are just not wired with that same connection. Others feel it is insensitivity on the man's part. Whatever the cause, the result is the same. Woman thinks, "I would rather be physically intimate with some stranger on the street corner because at least he has not hurt my feelings and pissed me off all day..." Man thinks, "I just want to get laid...why is she talking about what was said this morning?" They really do not see the connection. Well, the ones who are doomed for divorce and multiple failed relationships do not see the connection. Some men have actually figured out the connection and realize their needs (ie their desire to fulfill the sexual fantasies they have on average of every 8 seconds) are more likely to be met if they actually treat their partner in a way that makes her feel loved and cherished.

Answer 3

He is using sex as a means to say he is sorry. Men who behave like this are asking for Respect and unconditional respect and if regardless of how u are treated you respong and give him that, you will suddenly find out that actually he really does love you. There is a probable chance that he is feeling negative about life and you just happen to be there to vent his feelings at, and after doing that he feels so bad that he wants to make it up to you and so the only thing he feels he can do to get you back is to want sex from you.

People are crazy these days. Partners are on the defensive all the time and for stupid reasons. Read the book Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs and you will understand exactly what I am saying to you. Its an excellent book and it will help you see things differently. When you change towards him, he will change for the better towards you. He does love you and remember when a finger points at you there are 3 fingers pointing back at the one pointing the finger. Point your finger and look at your hand! Criticism is merely transference of self. I am sure he hates himself for being nasty. DOnt let negative thoughts and words cripple you. Remember who you are and that God sees you as special. Become confident and operate in the positive. Negative people draw the negative and positive people reap positive things. See things differently and operate in the positive. Override negative feelings besides our feelings and emotions lie to us. Choose to do the right thing. Walk away when he criticises you and say "I dont have to play this game, and neither am I going to - play by yourself. I deserve better than that from you!" Say it sweetly and go washy the dishes or occupy yourself with something and leave him to stew in his own juice. On the other hand sit down and ask him gently what the matter is. Why is he feeling so negative. He might go you but stop him and say you dont buy that, what is really wrong whay is making him so miserable! Then just listen and dont say anything or try to give him answers. Men are good problem solvers all they need is a listening ear. Do just that. LISTEN!

I hope this helps you. I highly recommend that book to you.

Answer 4

Because something is wrong with him. Maybe he had a bad childhood or for some reason he thinks that he is treating you the way a woman is supposed to be treated. This usually goes back to how he was raised. If possible, try to talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. Be strong and tell him that this is not what you want and you won't live like that. Either he needs to change or you will leave him. There are plenty of support groups out there that can help you get away from him if that's what you need. Please take care of yourself and any children that might be involved.

Answer 5

He doesn't. He has no respect for you, has no admiration for you, and is satisfied with the lust he gets off on occasion. You are a mere warm spot around his penis. You don't have a marriage or a relationship. From what little you have said, he is an egotistical, controlling s.o.b., about as sensitive as a rock. Hope this isn't the guy you sleep with or is your husband...... If it is, why are you still there???? What ARE you thinking.....Do you like Pain? Because he'd be really painful to even be nice to if you are a normal female. I'd live under a bridge, work at McDonald's and be going to school, before I'd stay with such a guy.....

Answer 6

He is a man and men separate sex and reality. He just wants sex. He needs to grow up. I wish you well. It takes time, talk to him maybe if you are better to him in bed he will be better to you when you are not. Give it a try. My first wife were in a constant circle, she was mean to me in bed,and I was mean to her out of bed. We never broke that circle till we divorced. Now we are both so nice to each other, and I have no desire to get her into bed any more. The good thing, she left and married a good man and they get alone fine. I am also remarried and get alone fine. And no body is mean to their pardners any more.

Answer 7

People have all sorts of problems, you know.Sometimes they don't understand how things work. Sometimes they are stupid.
Sometimes they have very deep-seated emotional problems. This particular situation sounds like a man who wishes to hurt another person... by being withdrawn into cruelty and then by taunting with the sex bit ... to see if "you" would squirm. It is like attracting you but smashing you back if you respond, but in reverse, if you see what I mean.

And, sometimes people do not know or choose to forget that they have been abusive ... and they forget what they have done.

Answer 8

I don't know but I have had the same situation...
I think they think they are entitled.
It's time to have a talk with your man, not critically, just a respectful, polite, nice sit down heart to heart.

Answer 9

Maybe he is just being a man. We like to fix things so being critcal is sometimes an expression to fix an issue. Meaness may just be his personality trait. Let him know how you feel and ask him to try and change.

Answer 10

Maybe because it has worked so well for him in the past with you or someone else.

Maybe because it is the only way that he can get aroused.

Maybe there is something going on in his life that he cannot share with you for some reason.