My boyfriend and I just recently moved into the apartment of our dreams. After doing a budget we factered in that we could indeed afford it. Well, some financial problems occured with me and now I cannot come up with all of the rent money. I feel stupid and ashamed. I work really hard 40 hours a week and I dont want him to think I am not pulling my weight.
Also, he makes $400 more than me on his checks. I know he can afford it but I feel embarrassed to ask him. I have more bills than he does too. Hospital, cell phone, credit cards, other... Help, what should I do and how should I ask him.
2007-01-06 02:04:49 · 33 answers · asked by 88776 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think there is only one solution to this and that is to swallow your pride and talk to him about the problems. He is going to realise soon enough that you can't afford your part of the rent and you want it to be brought up on your terms rather then wait until it is too late. I am sure he can see that you do pull your weight and everyone has bad months. When you enter a living situation with a partner you have to realise that sometimes things happen that are beyond our control and that you have to ask for help.
There may come a time for whatever reason that he has to ask you for help too. You shouldn't feel embarrased and instead try working on a plan where maybe he pays the remainder of your rent right now but that you pay him back in installments or maybe a dinner or something at the end of the month.
Also try sorting through your bills and see what you can cut back on, or if you can transfer credit card balances to one card with a lower APR. When you start looking at your bills you can sometimes be surprised at the changes that can be made.
Good Luck
2007-01-06 02:11:26 · answer #1 · answered by bella'smom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a man's point of view, I suggest you ask him sooner rather than later. Chances are, you two are in love, and two people in that situation understand the concept of helping each other out. Remember, he is a man. Do not be subtle. Ask him directly. He must know that you hit some walls and if he doesn't, explain it to him calmly. I know a lot of people that would just have no problem mooching. Also, don't cry about it until later. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but it most likely will make him feel like you are guilting him into it.
Also, you can show him you really mean it by looking for a better paying job, or even just get a small prt time job that is like 12 hrs a week. That little bit of extra cash can go a long way.
Good Luck, I hope things work themselves out for you.
2007-01-06 02:12:21 · answer #2 · answered by Marius K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you're coming from. Most of the time if you can just talk to your landlord, they can work something out with you. It is better to come out with it to your landlord than to hide it. They can maybe delay payment, or take half now and the other half in 2 weeks when you get paid again. Also, if that is not possible, call your cell-phone provider and request an extension. It is almost guaranteed. Stand your ground as a strong, successful woman. Just because you came up short once doesn't mean you're a failure. As long as you work hard and manage well, through tough and good, you have a lot to be proud of yourself for.
2007-01-06 02:09:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the most important thing in any relationship is communication. Let me first say.. never say you have more bills then him, or throw that in his face. You both are are a 'we' now, it's changed from They are to they're when you decided to be together. That means you do things together. Explain to him that you're short, and if he loves you and wants to keep the 'place of your dreams' with you, he should have no problem pulling a little more weight. Don't feel ashamed or stupid that you're short some of the cash. There are thousands of people who can barely get by in a smaller place i'm sure. Take me for example! Life is hard especially for younger people now a days to get into a place and just LIVE! So, again, my advice is to just talk to him. What's the hurt in talking?
2007-01-06 02:08:31 · answer #4 · answered by eousou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you and he made an agreement as to how much each of you would pay, before you moved into the apt. That agreement is a business contract YOU entered into. It doesn't matter how much money he makes, that's not your concern. If you can't pay your share, you should borrow the necessary money from someone other that your BF/roommate and keep your agreement, other wise he is going to come to the conclusion that your word can't be trusted...and you really don't want to go there.
My advice is to such it up, keep him out of it and be responsible for your own actions and decisions, if you lay it on him, sooner or later it will come back to bite you on the butt..and he's going to think he made a bad decision moving in with YOU.
Remember you are not married, you are two separate people with separate bill, and responsibilities. He loves you and wants to be with you, but that doesn't mean he wants your problems and debts, too. He's not your daddy.
2007-01-06 02:17:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your boyfriend and you have taken a big step together. Explain to him, that this is a one off, that this was not anticipated and that you are sorry. You must be honest - if he finds out and you havent told him then there may be a problem between the pair of you. I am sure he will be supportive - give him what you can but you may need to find another way to get the money - you dont want this to become a regular occurance.
2007-01-06 02:08:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to bite the bullet and axe the crap outta your budget you can live without. No one needs more than 2 credit cards. I only have 1 myself and get by fine with 1. Never spend more than you make. Sounds simple but most people dont follow it. If you dine out alot. STOP. Its far cheaper to go to the grocery store and make your own food. Get a pre-paid cell phone and only use it WHEN YOU NEED TO. Too many people these days use cell phones as their only phone. Just set some time aside. Look at your budget, and see what you can and cant live without.
2007-01-06 02:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him your situation. If he cares about you he should be understanding to your current situation. Tell him you will pay him back or pick up more on the rent when you have your finances straightened out. If it isnt going to put him in a tight spot financially you should be ok. Its kind of funny to me because when I lived with my boyfriend before we were married we put our money together and pretty much acted as if we were married anyway. Dont feel embarrassed sometimes things come up. He knows you work hard and he should know that you arent trying to mooch off of him so dont sweat it I bet he will be more understanding than you think.
2007-01-06 02:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♫♥ Crystal ♥♫♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's my worst fear! It's different with a boyfriend than it is with a husband isn't it? I'd have no problem asking my husband for money, but a boyfriend, I just could not do it. I guess the only thing you can do it either get him to cover for you and pay him back, OR (a better option because it's less humiliating) borrow from someone else and hopefully never have to tell him.
2007-01-06 02:42:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he has a cow then he stinks as a partner and you need to find a nicer person.
You in this together remember.
cut up all that crap you do not need such as credit cards and use the phone wisely not just to spend time idly chatting to people you can go see.
Thankfully I am married so my wife has a husband who shares everything together and work for the benefits of both of us.
2007-01-06 02:08:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋