why is it that when you get divorced the moms use the kid to get even because of their heartache.?

Answer 1

because alot of women are b*tches. they think they need to get back at the guy when really they should be getting on with their lives.

Answer 2

It's not right for EITHER parent to 'use' a child as a means of 'getting back' at their divorced spouse. In the Power and Control Wheel, USING THE CHILDREN is one of the fundamental ways that you can recognize abusive behavior in someone.

This behavior affects not only the other parent but also the child. It can be destructive to the child's emotional development, not to mention disrupting their ability to have open, trusting relationships with both parents.

It's unfortunately not uncommon for this to happen. It means that in some way (even if you can't recognize it), something remains unresolved between a spouse and their ex. Family therapy is a good suggestion, or making a pact to use a neutral meeting place (like a trusted friend or relative) so that each spouse can avoid contact with the other until they learn to be responsible in front of their kids.

In a worst case scenario, a parent can petition the divorce court through their attorney to have their rights of visitation, among others, upheld. Consult with your attorney and don't make threats about this: That is also abusive behavior as well.

Answer 3

And this suprises you because? Look man, for eons, they have been using their vagina, their cranking and nastiness, offspring, almost anything can think to use, in order to get you to do what they want or to punish you when you wont do what they want. If you were married long, you already know this and you had to expect it to a point.

Look, parents always talk about what is in the best interests of the kids, until such time that what is in the kids interest isnt going to get the parent what they want or like or when it means they cant do what they wish. At this point, what is in the kids interest is completely forgotten or it is said that the kids dont know what is good for them. You ex is probably just like most women. She is vindictive, pissy, and only happy when she is being obeyed.

Answer 4

The truth is that neither party really uses the kids to get even. This is the impression that each side gets because there is an animosity between them. The kids are in the middle of it, no matter what and they are sensitive to the pain on both sides. Kids love their parents and don't want to see them hurt.
There is no "even" here. Even was marriage. Divorce destroys the even part.

Answer 5

Sometimes, Men and women both, have a hard time letting go of someone they have trusted deeply for any amount of time. Because of this "open emotional wound", Men and women lash out at the very people they love the most, and they don't realize until later, that they have hurt the ones who really matter. Being a child of divorce myself, My parents both used me and my siblings against the other, simply because we reminded them of the other parent, and the pain that the other caused them in the past. I hope this answers your question.

Answer 6

Women are vindictive and will use anything to exact revenge! My two daughters are being used as we speak.

Do the best you can when you have the children. They are very smart and will see the difference when they get older. My two are young and they already see it! It is a slow painful process but in the end the children will remember all of the times you were around for them.

Answer 7

Cowboy, how many moms have you divorced?

How many kids do you have? Are you paying child support?

She is not abusing her child. She is trying to abuse you evidently like you abused her. Did you have an affair with another woman? If the answer is yes, then why do you think you lost your wife and child? I hope I am all wrong and you are a wonderful guy, but there are not that many wonderful guys out there.

Answer 8

Not a real Mom, she would never put her kids through that!! I've got 4 kids and they all still love Dad, even if I don't!! These things NEVER have anything to do with the kids!!

Answer 9

This has not been my experience....I was glad to get rid of him. No heartache here except the pain my kids are going thru!

Answer 10

my friends ex is doing the same thing and I hate it! It is so immature of them to do this. Not only is it not fair to the children, its not fair to the father either. Most fathers will obey every move of the ex when she threatens them with the kids...which is why I suppose they are doing it. But it is very very wrong and immature and I think those kind of women need to grow up and deal with the fact that the father no longer wants to be with them.

Answer 11

yes children are sometimes used, but do u blame them, heartache makes us do things we might normally not do, hurt makes us see things differently. shouldn't have hurt her like u did, do u expect her to just forget it, and act like what u did to her never happened, if u want to change your relationship with her, ask her to forgive u, drop the pride thing, and the ego, as something u did is still hurting her, and it is hard to get past something like that, if the person who did the hurting isn't sorry.