Is it too early to get married?

Question

I'm 20 and I've never thought I'll be asking this question simply beause I've never thought I'll get married to begin with!! I've always pictured my future as pretty practical and career focused but here I'm thinking of getting married!! I've never been more confused in my entire life. Do you think I should get married? I DONT wanna be the average normal house wifey who does nothing but look after her husband a cook, not that there's anything wrong with this but its just not for me. Do you think if I get married that soon this is what my future will be like? Shouldnt I get myself started on a career first?

Answer 1

Why can't you have marriage and career? Do you intend to have a career and a boyfriend?
Why would marriage mess up a career?
But if you have to ask this question then maybe you really do not want to make vows. If you want to be with a someone all your life then there is no such thing as a too young age. Marriage is what two people in love with each other wish to do. Maybe you are not feeling that devotion with your boyfriend.

Answer 2

Number one, You are TOO young. If I got married with the state of mind I had in MY early twenties, I would definitely be divorced by now. Live together for at least 6 years before taking the plunge. Remember it's just a piece of paper, that can cause more problems than just living together will.

And don't count that weekend away as living together either... Spend a few months paying bills, and having real world problems together, that's when you really know that the relationship will last, and nobody wants to find these things out after they have tied the knot.

I'm 30 years old, and the only marriage I've seen that has lasted out of everyone I went to school with, is my brothers. So have a think first.

Oh Oh, Go on vacation together, that's another relationship buster. People change in certain circumstances, so you want to see what changes these are before you do anything drastic like get married.

Your wedding day is probably the most important thing in the world for you, am i right? Do you really want to have more than one of these days, because the first one crashed and burned?

Life doesn't stop when you get married by the way. You can always have your career first, and plan your actual family for a later date. And Marriage isn't a reason to have kids, if you want kids so badly, have them! It doesn't mean you have to be married for you and your boyfriend to love them.

Good Luck, and If you ignored everything I said... Congratulations on your engagement :)

Answer 3

thats kind of a poor attitude. I'm 21 and was married at 19. I'm no "house wifey" as you call it. I work, go to school and still see my friends. he spends more time at home then I do. if you need to ask us if you should get married then the answer is no. you arent ready until you know your ready. having a husband and a family is what really makes life worth living. having a career focused life may seem worth while with the money you might make, but money cant buy you happiness and in the end when you cant have a career focused life anymore you'll be alone.

Answer 4

I got married at 24. I had just started my career. My wife was also 24 and had finished college weeks before our wedding. Her career would actually start later that year.

She has a very rewarding career, as do I. We also have 3 beautiful children that we work hard to spend time with. Since being married and having the first child, my wife has gone back to school and finished her master's degree.

We've both grown a lot and changed our beliefs and thinking of how the world works. But, 11 years later we are still both deeply committed to each other and our marriage.

Marriage is not easy. You can have the love of your life, the career of your dreams and a family you'll cherish. But, don't ever think for a minute that you won't have to sacrifice to keep the balance.

Personally, it sounds to me like you're a little too worried about yourself at this point to dedicate your life to a person you love. Dedicating your life to the person you love is not restricted to only wives or to only house wives. Career women and husbands also have to put marriage and family before themselves to make it work. If you can't adapt to this concept, you're not ready to marry regardless if you're 20 or 120.

Answer 5

Well if you were going to work on starting a career this is definately the time to do it. Your very young and thus a great time for it. If you do want to be the strong dont need a man type woman. You will get what you make for yourself. More than likely if you get married right now. Your gonna have kids... and your chances for getting your career off the ground will be slim to none. Unless you have some very good support from friends and family or... you can make the man stay home. If you want that you better find you a man that wants to stay home and watch the kids while you work.

Answer 6

It has nothing to do with choosing a career over getting married. You can do both. The problem is that most everyone does a lot of growing up and changing in their 20's. Ask any 30 year old if they are the same person they were at 20. Learn about yourself before committing to another person.

Answer 7

It sounds like you want to spend more time for yourself which is perfectly normal. Just because you get married doesn't mean that you can't pursue your career. I f you love him and he loves you then start planning your wedding and working towards your ultimate goal for work. As long as your man understands what you want with your life then having a husband may just help you. I got married at 17 and I dont' regret it. I can say I would have liked to do a few more thing for myself before relying so much on someone else but I would do it again if I went back. Good luck!

Answer 8

This is a good question ,,,, Actually a young women like yourself has three choices in life ,,,, You can remain single and career oriented ,,,,, or you can get married and be a home maker ,,,, or you can do both ,,,, A guy has little choice ,,,, He has to get a job or establish a career regardless of whether he marries or not ,,,, Since you are 20 then I assume that he's in the same age bracket ,,,, Just remember this ,,,, That allot of guys in this age bracket lack the maturity to know what the word commitment means or what it entails especially if times get a little rough ,,,, Allot of guys let their glands do their thinking for them and it could wind up as I do until he doesn't want to anymore ,,,, This isn't exclusively for males though ,,,, Females have this problem too sometimes ,,,, Look at this guy as a potential father to your children ,,,, Allot of people don't bother to do this ,,,, Sometimes after they've been together for a while some people figure out they were in lust and not in love ,,,, Only problem with this is that it's generally one or two or more children too late ,,,, You have to think about just how much you love your children before you have them ,,,, You have to be careful what kind of invironment you bring them in to ,,,, A child doesn't ask to be born nor does he have a choice as to who his parents are ,,,, But once conceived the the child has every right to live and once he's born then he has ever right to expect his parents to do the best they can for him ,,,, Your income should determine how many children you have ,,,, Too many on too small an income and they all want for things ,,,, If you are curious as to what the bride groom is going to look like in say 40 years then look at his parents ,,,, This also works the other way around too ,,,, Please don't think that I'm trying to insult your intelligence by telling you all of this ,,,, That's not my purpose ,,,,, It's just that allot of young people don't think of these things before they commit themselves and they don't come to realize it until it's too late ,,,, Give yourselves a 4 or 5 year window to settle down and get comfortable with each other before you start having children ,,,,, This is not only good for the both of you but good for any children you might or will have ,,,, Look at this from all angles before you make a move ,,,, I'm guessing that all you are looking at is the present and you haven't given much thought to the future yet ,,,, I'm not saying you haven't thought ahead but allot of people don't ,,,, Like I said earlier you have three choices as to what you want to do ,,,, You aren't tied to any one of them ,,,, Your life is what you want to make it ,,,, There are careers that you might want to persue in the home ,,,, It's always a good and practicle idea for the woman to maintain some kind of job skills in the event she loses her husband or in the event of an accident that renders him incapable of working or a divorce occurs ,,,, Maintaining a job skill is always a good idea for the woman no matter what the reason ,,,, Just as an asside ,,,, you might get rid of your credit cards ,,,, Plastic money is always easy to spend but it's very hard to pay back with the real stuff if you get what I mean ,,,,These credit card companies will kill you financially and could lead to trouble in the marriage ,,,, It's a good idea to have a debit card but that's it ,,,, it's considered a credit card but doesn't have any annual fees connected with it ,,,, You have to have a credit card to just rent a car now days but a debit card works for that ,,,, Having a debit card will prevent you from getting into debt because it's a direct tap to your checking account and you can't spend any more than you have in checking ,,,, I hope you don't consider what I've said a lecture ,,,, it's just meant to be advise ,,,, You'd be surprised at the amount of young people that don't consider all of these things ,,,, Not doing so could lead to problems you not only don't want but that you don't need either ,,,, If young people were more mindful of these things then the divorce rate might be lower ,,,, Good luck with what ever you deside ,,,, Yoda told you this ,,,,

Answer 9

It's 9:00 in the morning here. It's a little early to get married. :)
Anytime you find the right guy is a good time (after the age of consent) BUT finding the right guy may be the trick. Look over the candidates and examine them for deal-breakers. You can easily have a career and a husband if you select the right guy.

Answer 10

I think that you should get yourself together first. If you dont have a foundation outside of being "wifey" then what else will you bring into the marriage. You will probably end up the way you described. Establish yourself as a woman before you act like one. Just have a long engagement or just wait all together.