How long should one wait to go to a dating service after a spouse commits suicide in an unhappy marriage?

Answer 1

Wait only until you are comfortable. Don't let friends and family dictate your behavior. One has the right to celebrate the end of the unhappy marriage.

Answer 2

You should wait as long (or as little) as you need to.

You might want to do some personal healing of your own before you open your life up to a new person. Even aside from the suicide, there may be some unresolved issues from the unhappy marriage that need to be addressed.

Take all the time you need. Only you know when you are ready and at peace.

Answer 3

I can't say how long you should wait to do this, but I have a thought or two for you. I was once faced with a situation just like this...although it wasn't my husband that committed suicide...the man who asked me out had the deceased spouse (suicide also). When he told me she had killed herself, but they had been in an unhappy marriage I felt bad for him. Until he told me how long she had been deceased. 2 weeks. OUCH. All I could think of was he was married up until 2 weeks prior to that, and he had just buried his wife....all thoughts of his unhappy marital issues went right out the window.....all I could see at that point was a self centered non caring individual that didn't care enough to show a little respect for the woman (regardless of the situation)....to at least wait until the dirt had settled on her grave. Now please don't take this wrong, I am NOT calling you self centered or non caring....I'm just trying to point out what others may think and involuntarily feel about it. Should you decide to go ahead and date (and only you know if you're ready for that) I would not recommend mentioning his date of death unless a few months have passed. The human mind and heart can sometimes jump the gun....and assume something that isn't necessarily true.

Answer 4

I would say first things first. One, talk to a friend, a counselor or a trusted person to help you deal with what was unhappy in the first marriage. If you can't identify what made you unhappy in the first marriage before you start your second marriage, you'll be on your third marriage before you even realize what happened.

Two, are you sure you're done grieving? If you are, great. If you're not, take a little more time.

Three, have you forgiven him for the unhappy marriage? Have you forgiven him for committing suicide? Have you forgiven yourself for anything you might feel guilty about in your marriage?

I'd say once you're secure in your heart and head about these points it's time to move on in life.

Answer 5

Hmmmm interesting question go a soon as you get over your grief. Bear in mind that friends, family and society in general that did not know of the unhappy part of your marriage may get the wrong impression. You also must be sure that the law has ruled his death as a suicide otherwise your dating again quick after his death may appear as you had something to do with it

Answer 6

You should wait about a year or two. When women date too soon after the death of their spouse,especially a suicide people will look down on you and I don't think you want to have to deal with people aggravating you and putting you down while you are trying to start your life again. Good Luck to you and I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

First, get counseling. You have been through a very stressful, tragic situation; you need to get yourself together first. Secondly, there is no hard and fast rules about when you should date or seek out a dating service; whenever you are ready to put yourself out there again, that is the right time. A word of warning, however; you now have some emotional baggage. Think long and hard before getting into another relationship. Get to know and love you first. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 8

Are you done grieving?
That is the big question. We all have different paces for that.
Check the web for the steps of grief and determine where you are at.
If you are done and comfortable go ahead.
Although you may feel you are over it you may just be at an intermediate point. Check it out it will be helpful anyway.

Answer 9

Until your heart, mind and spirit are in one accord. I was married to my husband for almost 2 years when my husband took his own life, (our marriage was on very shaky grounds also) he not only took his own life, but a part of my life too. I grieved and blamed myself, which i'm sure you are doing, wondering what you could have done to stop this from happening, but you have to know he made this decision himself, you have no part of what he did. Now, as far as dating, HOLD OFF! Six months after my husband died, I thought God sent me the perfect man, he was great with my son, was a shoulder to lean on, and in my still grieving eyes, perfect... But now that I look back, some years later, I was lonely, wanting companionship, and still grieving, there are severeral steps to grieving, and its very important that you go thru each of these steps, the time of these vary, but you must go thru all them. Give yourself time to spend with yourself, give alot of time with your child or children, if you have any, because once you do get involved with another, that time will be taken away from your child, & your child/children will still be grieving the loss of their dad. Plus this is a good time for you all to heal together. Love will come, you may feel lonely, but always remember your not alone. You get involved too fast after the death of your husband, your heart and mind WILL NOT be in one accord, and there will be regrets with more hurt. I wish you the best, May God Bless You & Be With You!!!

Answer 10

Don't rush give yourself some time. Only you can decide how long. Just take your time and do what is right for you. Be careful even bad relationships take time to get over.