How do i go about telling my dad to stop smoking in a way that i won't sound too impolite?

Question

He's had a stroke which was ultimately caused by the presence of too much nicotine in his blood yet there he goes again smoking as if he's in perfect health. My mom gave up on telling him not to smoke and i think it's now my turn. =c

Answer 1

Don't worry about sounding impolite. Be sincere about it. Tell him exactly how you feel about his smoking habits and how it hurts you to see him smoking.

My father died of Lung Cancer from smoking at the age of 53. At the age of 20, he was told by his doctor that he had lungs of a 40 y/o.

He found out that he had cancer from a routine chest xray for a minor surgery that he was going to have. It was in a spot where they could not operate on it. He had to start chemo therapy right away which was just before my wedding. I cried (he cried too) when he told me that there was a chance that he could not walk me down the isle. He did make it to my wedding.

But after that it was hell for him and me. Going with him to the doctors, visiting him in the hospital. Watching him go bald, puffing up like a balloon from steriods, then watch him getting skinny again. Watching my father in pain was the hardest thing. It was to the point when he was asking his daughters if we knew of anyone who could find him 'drugs' to get rid of the pain.

The cancer spread to his brain, the lymph nodes and then to his bones. In the end, he looked like my grandfather. He used to be 6' foot and 220lbs healthy. The last day I saw him alive he was a walking skeleton. He was lighter than me. I was 130 lbs at the time.

My father and I were close. Loosing him was the hardest thing I had to go though. Espicially seeing him in that casket. I almost jumped in there with him when it was time to say the final goodbye. They had to pull me away.

I would not want to wish that pain on anyone. Unfortunately people don't realize what they are doing to their body, and also how it effects the loved ones around them. It's been 13 years now and it still hurts.

It may take a while to get him to stop his smoking habit. Heck, he may never stop smoking and live until he is an old man. But tell him how much you love him. And how smoking hurts you. Go to a support group with him to help him stop smoking. But no matter what he decides to do, just tell him you love him.

Answer 2

Natural Quit Smoking Magic

Answer 3

It's his house, so technically, he's in the right. Is he endangering your health by doing that in front of you? Yes. But as he said, you were perfectly able to leave, and if it bothered you so much, you should have. That you tried to grab his cigarette from him was not only unnecessary, it was completely rude and presumptuous. As the owner of the house, he does in fact set the rules. Your choice is not in how he sets them or what he does in his own home, but whether you accept the rules and stay, or reject the rules and leave. I completely understand that you have a condition and don't want to breathe in cigarette smoke. I don't want to either. If it was your house, you'd have every right to tell him not to smoke. But it wasn't your house, so technically, you were the one being rude. From his perspective, here he was just sitting back to enjoy a quiet moment in his own living room, when all of a sudden some kid bursts in, yells at him, and tries to steal his cigarettes. It's no small wonder that you're not allowed to go back. Now, if you had calmly and politely said, "Sir, I have asthma, would you mind not smoking while I'm here?" without yelling or reaching for his cigarettes, or being presumptuous, and he had kicked you out of the house, that would've been unreasonable, sure. But since it is his house, he does have every right to do whatever he wants in it, as long as that thing is legal--which smoking is. And furthermore, this is NOT what you did. You made a rudely-phrased demand of your host and then tried to force him to obey you. Are you right to ask him not to smoke in front of you? Given the health info surrounding smoking and your condition, yes. Are you right to demand it of him, and scream that he should leave HIS house just to make you comfortable? No. Sorry, but you're in the wrong, etiquette-wise.

Answer 4

tell him he'll feel better if he quits. i quit recently and i feel SO much better. if he wants to quit but he's having trouble, there's a book by alan carr called 'the easy way to quit smoking', and apparently there's a huge success rate with people who've read it! i hope he decides to quit, and it's great that you care so much!

oh- also, no matter what, i would focus on positive emotions (telling him, directly or indirectly, how much you love him and that's why you want him to quit, VS. telling him all bad things about smoking, etc. as a former smoker, hearing that stuff- which i already knew- just made me want to smoke more, as weird as that sounds!)

Answer 5

Dad I love you and want you arround a little longer. STOP smoking. It's more than just a ciggerrete, and its more than just your life, its your family and the people that love the that are effected.

Answer 6

it depends how close u hve the relation with him some parents are very strict some very friendly ...if its kinda friendly relation...then tell ur dad from tomorow i will be responsible to provide u the cigerrettes, dont stop him and give as much as he want this way will effect on him same time keep observing the average number he uses per day...then introduce an offer that reducing per cigerrette u will give a certain gift to him...or any thing that u feel he will love to have.....it will take atleast six months or more b consistent and dont be disapointed dont force dont insist ...Good luck

Answer 7

Uh, I understand that this is hard on you!
It seems so meaningless to continue smoking when it causes so much damage! The thing with smoking is that it is addictive, so it's extremely hard "just to stop"! Just think about how hard it can be to not eat something if you feel hungry, and that's not even half as hard as it is to not smoke for someone who's a hard smoker!
Your father needs professional help to stop. People get help from different methods and some need to use special patches or chewing gums with nicotine just to deal with the physical part of the addiction. To stop completely is often a year-long process where the smoker continually struggel with reducing, stop smoking all together.
Best thing you can do for your father is to say that you care for his health and think that he can manage to reduce the amount of cigarettes he smoke and maybe even quit smoking completely if he just tries and tries again, finds out what helps him in the process and give it time!
Also I thought maybe you'd be interested to hear that many people who's had strokes, was found to be dehydrated without knowing about it. Simply drinking more water, other clear liqiuds and green tea, could have great effect on improving their health!

Answer 8

just leave some leaflets lying around that give all the facts about the dangers of smoking and leaflets telling him whats he can do to quit and what he can use to ease the stress

Answer 9

Hey old man...you smell like a brothel. Stub the butts or I'll croak!

Answer 10

Good on you girl, it is your turn.
You tell him exactly what you want to tell him, only you know what to say.
I think dad will be listening to, this time.

Answer 11

Hey cancer IS looking good these days .keep up the good work dad and make us all proud when you die a horible painful death