I blew up today, I am just so sick of my boyfriend looking at internet porn!?

Question

So tonight I lost it.
Here's what happened:
I spend alot of time at his house. He falls asleep earlier than me often, and to pass the time I go online and check emails, participate in a couple message boards, go on yahoo answers, etc.
Well you know how when you are going back and forth from one site to another, instead of typing the web address each time, you can hit that little down arrow and see what websited were visited recently and just click on them to go back. Ok, well I often see that he has visited porn sites. I always try to shake it off, telling myself "a guy is a guy and its none of my business anyways". Tonight I went online after he fell asleep again and saw that the last thing he visited was ANOTHER porn site. I snapped. I woke him up and told him to take me home. He kept asking why and finally I told him. He said he loves me but it helps him get to sleep, ...anyways I left out of the car in a huff..It just hurts my feelings alot...advice??????

Answer 1

Tell him that when he is finished surfing the internet that he should go the tools options go down to internet options and hit the clear history. That way when you use it you won't have to see any porn. If he fails to do that dump him if he won't do something so simple for you just imagine what else he wouldn't do. Take care and best of luck.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Well, I think you will probably get an argument about spying---long before the issue at hand. It is a free country and he can do what he wants within reason. You never seem to have had a serious sane discussion about it and how you feel. It seems as if it may threathen you---those girls or whatever are on a screen and not in his house. They are only part of a big business, too. Dirty magazines have made women mad, long before the porn sites. Cave pictures probably had the same effect.He is stopping by those sites as a curiosity. Most men just seem to visit for a peek...feels as if they got away with something. Silly as it may sound, men who have the healthiest and most active sex lives still go and take a look...who knows why. Now, you need to reaffirm that your feelings are hurt by this and would appreciate him telling you why he looks at that site. Just because you want to know---is it that all men look at that dreamy girl that he'll never get in real life...you are, afterall, there with him--not some other girl. If you can't get a satisfactory answer, and you know you won't get him to stop by nagging, maybe you should look for a more courteous man. You are not owned by him and you are not bound to stay with him. It seems by all the drama and bad feelings, you might do better elsewhere. He will do whatever he wants and I'm sure you will do and feel the way you want about this. Communicating is the big thing here---a nice sane conversation without all the accusations and drama. Good luck

Answer 4

OK, calm down, you're over-reacting big time. He is a normal guy - and guys look at porn, period. Unless it is an addiction (i.e., it interferes with his daily functioning) - you have to give him his personal space and stop nagging him about it; what he's doing is totally normal, and is no one's business but his own. Hell, I'm a girl, and I look at porn sometimes when the mood strikes. It's nothing personal - it's like going on the Yahoo answers for you; just passing the time. You have to get over it, because every guy with a normal sex drive will be looking at porn. The only guy I've ever been with who doesn't seem to look at porn has such a low libido that he doesn't even notice that we haven't had sex in 6 months; his interests lie elsewhere. If this is what you would rather have - then look for a guy with no libido; then you can spend your time complaining how your b/f is not interested in sex. Just chill out, ok. Get your own laptop, and use it at his place if these constant reminders bother you so much. Leave his private life alone.

Answer 5

Most guys check out porn. He's not doing it because he doesn't like you or he likes porn more than you. It's just guys think about sex 100's of times a day...and curiosity kills the cat. Him telling you that it helps him sleep was probably the best excuse he could come up with, but he didn't do anything terribly wrong. Talk to him if it still bothers you, but don't think porn is his substitute for you or that he doesn't like you anymore

Answer 6

Stop snooping on his internet useage. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you OWN him nor his mind. I suspect that you were already in a bad mood and didn't want to waste it. So you went looking for something to 'get into a childish huff', and you knew you would find some porn. You're innocent explaination of how you came across the porn might fool your friends but we can see through it, sunshine.
Grow up or find yourself a dog that obeys your every command.

Answer 7

If I were you, I would leave him if he can't stop looking at porn sites COMPLETELY! It's CHEATING! Just bec those women are only in pics, the feelings DO go to them, such as being aroused by THEM! What do you call it if your bf or husband is aroused by any other woman but YOU???? I'm really disgusted when people say things like, "It's a guy thing," etc. Your bf could be your husband one day. If he can't start acting like a REAL man who honors you as his future wife by only adoring and loving you, then what can you expect from him after marriage? Don't force yourself to try to accept most people's opinion that porn is OK!
It's NOT ok and will never be! It hurts you as a gf/wife and your relationship/marriage. REAL men don't do that. So pick.

Answer 8

When i met my husband he had just purchased his first computer. He was visiting porn sights, listed himslef on dating sights and was downloading pitures and took a few of himself and sent them to various women. I was mad like you. We got engaged and i thought everything was perfect, i thought he had stopped. We had many conversations about his behavior and he promised to stop. This went on for a year. He lied, attempted to erase the history of the computer and went on the same websights at work and cheated on me twice. I watched a special on tv about men and internet addiction. I realized this applied to him. My husband saw nothing wrong because it wasn't "cheating". He didnt realize the damage he was doing to the relationship. There are many articles about this topic. Print some of them out and give them to him. If his behavior does not change then you have to decide if this is the person you want to be with.

Answer 9

I am sorry you are hurting. Is there still passion and fire in your relationship? Feed into his love of porn and seduce him. Give him something to keep him away from the computer. Instead of driving him furture away by getting mad and running out find different ways to draw him back to you. Good luck

Answer 10

Mine does the same, I just put a nice desktop picture of Vin Diesel in the shower on, so every time he starts the computer up pops Vin.
I know it doesn't stop the hurt feelings but honey he's with you and they are just pictures ( crude but just pictures ) try not to take it personally okay.