Turns out he has an 8 yr old son with the other woman. He says he can't live with the lies any longer. Our kids are 13 and 16. I am devastated. He says he loves her and me and didn't want to hurt me. I really need help to deal with this. What should I do?
2007-01-05 19:31:38 · 12 answers · asked by jen H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are alot of places you can turn to help. A big place is your local church or place of worship if it applies. There are groups with other people who may be going through the same thing you are and will be there to support you as well as you to support them. They will always be there for you and can help you make the best decision. Not to be a downer, but your friends won't always be there for you if they have not gone through the same thing, so I believe this is the best option for seeking help. As for leaving or staying, that is up to you. Write in a journal and take some time to really think about what is best for you (what will make you most happy overall) and what is best for your children. If he has lied to you for this long, do you really believe he can change or even will?
2007-01-05 19:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by Laura B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears you are a victim. He damn sure didn't handle things is a way that was good for anyone. Don't feel sorry for yourself or question what you did wrong. I am not believer in the saying about letting a bird go and if it comes back...I think if you let a dog get out of your sight they will piss on the furniture. Even if you could repair your marriage it is not worth it. There are many men out there that can and will appreciate you for what you are. Start your life over and hurt for the pain he has caused you. But if he did it to you he will do it again. Enjoy your freedom your loyal nature is a great asset.
2007-01-05 19:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by Wat Da Hell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't all want to live together you're going to have to tell him to choose who he will be with. Either way he'll be paying a lot of child support. Sorry you're caught in the middle of this.
2007-01-05 19:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a Non-denominational Church near your home and begin a BIBLE STUDY with them You might invite him to take part also. I believe that he does not deserve YOU! My wife and I have been married for over 30 years and I want you to know that she is the greatest thing on earth to me. I would NeVeR be UnFaItHfUl to her for any reason. GOD has been a part of our lives for about 20 years. We have three children and one Grandchild. Cheating on them would be the worst thing that I could ever imagine doing. That would be cheating on my vows to GOD also. I hope that this makes sense to you. Get yourself a BIBLE and begin reading it with the study group. You can become a True Christian and Live a Life with GOD. Have a great weekend. If my wife or I can help in any way, send me a note and let me know.
Eds
2007-01-05 20:10:43 · answer #4 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way, you have 2 kids. Would you want to teach them that it is ok to do what he did to you?
If yes, then stay
If no, you need to leave and create your own life. You can't stay in a marriage because you have kids. You are thier mother, and they look up to you for guidence in how they will be in thier own marriages. If you leave, this teaches them that it is not ok to cheat on your wife. If you stay then you are telling them that it is ok.
2007-01-05 19:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants divorce so you give him. I wouldn't want to live with a liar. Make sure he pays child support and alimony.
Find good lawyer.
2007-01-05 19:35:29 · answer #6 · answered by Speck Schnuck 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
then let him go. don't pushed yourself to him if he does't love you...just move on I know God have a good plan for you. You can find another man who can love you forever. just don't loose hope and everything will be OK. Keep praying ang ask for His guidance.
2007-01-05 19:38:51 · answer #7 · answered by Rain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go & you live a better life than you ever have had when you were with him! You deserve so much better & it will be hard at first but you will get through this.
2007-01-05 19:34:57 · answer #8 · answered by funkychick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer
2007-01-05 19:39:45 · answer #9 · answered by Natsif Alphamith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a coincidence! There's another woman with the same problem. You should correspond:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvJWE7vFcAxmQMWZL.XVdGfzy6IX?qid=20070106003215AA70VjG
2007-01-05 19:44:39 · answer #10 · answered by Freesumpin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋