16 N TtC!!!?

Question

I am not looking for mean comments I want help.

How long does it take to concieve a baby? I am 16 and my boyfriend is 20. We are very in love and want to make that love. I really really really want a babii. Not only because I am the only one out of my friends who does not have one, but because I love them.

I have a really weathly family. We live in Downtown Toronto so that says enough. I have been working at McDonalds since I was 14 and will graduate in two years. I am captain of the Cheerleading Squad. My boyfriend Jake is an actor on a TV show so we will have the money to pay for the baby. I already have cute little newborn outfits for my baby. If it is a boy his name will be Jakie Kyle Jr if It is a girl her name will be Brittany Country.

Anyways. How long will it take to concieve and get my baby.

My parents do not know yet. Jake does not know I am off the pill but I am sure he will be happy once he gets a son. I really want a girl but he will only want a boy. So I do

not know what we will do if we get a girl. He will want his boy named after him.

Again only questions in all seriousness. I am not joking at all. Alot say I am too young but I am totally not at all. I am ready to be a mommy!!!!!

Lotz Of Huggz KisseZ N Luvvz,
Summer <333

WE WILL NEVER BREAK UP!! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!? WE HAVE BEEN GOING OUT FOR 6 1/2 MONTHS. JAKE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME AND I WOULD NEVER LEAVE HIM. I HAVE BONDS FOR COLLEGE I CAN TAKE OUT TO RAISE THE BABY. I WOULDNT EVEN NEED COLLEGE UNTIL THE BABY GOT OLDER. I CAN STAY AT HOME AND BE A STAY AT HOME MOTHER LIKE I WANT TO BE. I AM NOT TOO YOUNG.

THE GIRLS WOULD NEVER KICK ME OFF THE SQUAD. I CAN JUST COME BACK AFTER THE BABY IS BORN AND STILL BE CAPTAIN. MY PARENTS HAVE BABY SAT MY OLDEST SISTERS BABY BEFORE WHEN HER AND HER HUSBAND WENT ON A SECOND HONEYMOON. I KNOW THEY WOULD WATCH MY BABBI WHEN I WAS AT CHEER.

My parents do not need to know yet. I want to suprise them when I become pregnant.

He does not really need to know either. I know he will probably be happy.

Yes he does have an apartment as well as a car. He works as an actor on a popular Canada tv show. He has money. To pay for the bills. My parents will not kick me out they love me. They would never sue him becuase they like him also. I dont know if your parents would be stupid and kick you out but mine love me. I have made them proud.

Answer 1

Hi there,

just wanted to let you know my own experience. I am a mother, i always wanted to be a mother, even at 12 thats all i wanted to be and i desperately wanted a baby. I didn't have the amazing luck of finding my special guy though until i was 17 - it then took 4 years for us to finally become a couple and were then married when i was 22. I was by this time desperate for my baby - which i am sure you understand given your own need for a baby. I believed even at 22 that i was ready for a baby and that i could handle it all and there would be no problems at all - i had a supportive husband with a good job, my parents loved me and were understanding, and there is no way anyone could have talked me out of having a baby when i did. I fell pregnant straight away - honey moon baby.
In the end my husband and i have missed out on the exciting first years of marriage - coupleness that many of my friends have had. We missed out on the opportunity to make ourselves comfortable - to remove some of the financial stresses of having children by having some money behind us. We missed out on getting to know each other really and truely as individual people not as mum and dad. (totally different people believe me). And then believe it or not a baby is soooo much work!! So much work that it can not even be imagined, you can no longer sleep when you want to, you can not even enjoy eating your own meal in peace ... you have to answer questions between mouthfulls - a moment of quiet is a thing of the past, and thats only if you get a good baby. Ever think about going to the toilet when out shopping with your little toddler watching you??? They ask the strangest questions at the oddest moments and they do not know how to whisper. My second child spent all day screaming, all night screaming - there was nothing wrong she just screamed - we rocked her to sleep in our arms, she'd sleep for an hour and then scream. Can you imagine what it is like to sleep for half hour intervals and keep going all day and night. You might get a baby that doesnt sleep!!
Don't get me wrong - i love my babies that are very quickly becoming little people - they talk back - they think for themselves and they quite often decide that mummy wants them to do something they don't want to.
I just wish we had waited a little while longer - waited until we were truely adults - i was 23 remember - and i believed myself to be mature and an adult - looking back i see now just how young i really was.
I just want to tell you that you need to enjoy more of your life - you can't do that with babies and children and then shock horror - from what i've heard about teenagers - i'm pretty scared to be a mum of a teenager - only 7 years away for me now .... it is your decision and it is your life, but never assume your boyfriend is ready for a baby, or as ready as you are, you are going to need his help and support and you dont want him to be resentful of you for turning his life upside down. Talk to him first, let him know how desperately you want a baby, he'll then share the pregnancy with you and offer you so much more support. His own excitement in the pregnancy will be much greater as he knew it was coming and knew when he was making it happen.
if you want someone to talk to anytime feel free to email me, i'm now 29 a little bit older then you but i often still feel like i'm 16 living in this adult body as a mum to 3 little ratbags.

final comment on the woes of being a mum - you're a cheerleader so i'm guessing you have a pretty good figure - wave goodbye - your tummy will never be as flat - the stretch marks they say they fade - they don't and after pregnancy they are pretty bad - your breasts will sag - some women after they finish breast feeding they actually shrink to a much smaller size then you were to start with. Breast feeding is painfull - your breasts fill with milk soooo tight that it hurts to move - it hurts to roll over in bed, it hurts even to cuddle your new baby. Labour is probably best described as hell - don't think the horror stories won't happen to you - they can and they might - i thought they wouldn't happen to me. I had 24hr labour non stop contrations and then had emergency c-section. My 3rd child i had major infection after birth.

Never go into pregnancy light hearted and without the full support of everyone around you.

Wow this is a huge answer to your post and if you've read this far thank you. I wish you all the best in what you decide to do, and if you do ever want someone to talk to please do email - even if its to say you're pregnant.

Answer 2

Wow, I'm not really sure where to start. In answer to your first question, it can take 1 month or many many years to concieve and deliver a baby. It all depends on your cycle, your hormones and your body. No one can give you a specific time frame... it will happen when Mother nature decides its the right time for you to become a mother.

For as long as I can remember, all I've ever wanted to do in life was to be a mum. Like yourself, I was 16 and thinking about having children. This did not eventuate and now I'm 25 years old now and my husband and I are just starting to TTC.

If you were confident that you were emotionally, mentally, physically ready to become a mum, you wouldn't need to justify your question with... "Not only because I am the only one out of my friends who does not have one, but because I love them." Yes, lots of people love babies too, but its a 24 hour round the clock job. Many of the babies you've probably had experience with, you've been able to give back to the biological parents. You haven't been the one getting up at 2am for feeds, every day for the first 18m - 2years. It takes more than "wanting" a baby to provide it with the lifestyle it deserves.

Considering that you have not told anyone that you are off the pill, shows that the maturity required to be responsible for another human being may not have been reached. From what I can tell, you are expecting your parents to look after you and the baby (quote: "I have a really weathly family. We live in Downtown Toronto so that says enough") - what are you expecting that to say? All that really says is that you're happy to get what you want and are expecting everyone else to assist and pick up the pieces. The fact that you haven't even discussed this with the others involved, I'd be scared that you'd be up for a rude awakening if someone else didn't want to be involved. Then how would you feel, being a single mum???

Also, what happens if Jake loses his job? Who is going to pay for the baby then? I don't think your casual job at McDonalds is going to pay for nappies, clothing, bottles, formulas, medicine etc etc etc.

And what happens if you get a daughter... how happy with Jake be then?

I don't care if you don't take anything I've said into consideration. All I ask is you have a really big think about the situation you may be creating for your child. You're 16 with no steady, reliable income, you're lying to the child's possible father (how do you think the child will feel if it knows it was never wanted by it's father... Jake finds out your pregnant and leaves?), you're lying to your parents, you're expecting everyone to help you (my parents can look after the bub whilst I'm at cheerleading).... I just think you're headed for a very uncomfortable, life altering awakening if you proceed ahead with your plan. Take a minute and think about everyone else involved for change... how would you feel if Jake lied to you?

Answer 3

you say ". Jake does not know I am off the pill but I am sure he will be happy once he gets a son."

Are you sure about that?! Have the two of you ACTUALLY discussed having a baby?? It doesn't sound like it, and honey, you're just a baby yet and if you get pregnant because you've come off the pill and your boyfriend doesn't know you're no longer taking it, that is called entrapment and I doubt he'll be very pleased: more than likely he'll do a runner and you'll be left holding the baby, literally! Honey, you've got to wise up and see what you're saying! I know a lot of young moms are very good moms, but that doesn't mean you should aim to become one right now. Sweetie, you have the rest of your life ahead of you and once you become a mother, especially if this Jake fellow leaves you for tricking him into impregnating you, you will no longer have a life. Unless you can afford a baby sitter or unless mommy and daddy will watch this child every day, you will not have time for school and a McDonalds salary isn't really the best for raising a child, is it? I'm not trying to be mean here, chick, I'm just trying to make you see what you're doing and the likely outcome. I know you would love to see your child in your arms and that you would love that little thing with all that you are and more, but you are still so young, honey! Just think about this and make sure you talk to Jake about having a baby before you hurry into it...If he loves you, he will ask you to wait a bit until you're older and more mature, etc...more than likely, though, he'll freak out a bit...just think and talk about this before you do it!

Answer 4

6 months is not that long. You are 16 and he is what 20. Do you think really he wants to be tied down? Do you think if you have a baby it will make him stay with you? If you think that then you are dead wrong. It dosen't matter how many kids you have with someone that will not hold them to you.

I have been with my now husband since we were 15 (Now we are 27) and we waited 9 months into dating to have sex at age 16 but i was smart i got on birth control. When we decided to have a baby i went off of the shot and became pregnant and had our son at age 21. I only have one child so far. We have been together for almost 12 years but i cannot sit here and say he wont leave me or i wont leave him. No one knows what the future will bring.

If you think your plan is so great then why not tell your parents? Secondly why are you lying about being on birth control to your boyfriend? Do you think you are going to trap him by getting pregnant?
Don't you think that when you get pregnant your parents might press charges against him since he is 20 years old?

If all your friends turned into hookers would you? You said they all have babies and you don't. You have not even gave a good enough reason to have a baby.
If you have to ask how long it takes to have a baby then you don't need one.

If your boyfriend is so great then does he have his own apartment? Does he have a car? Does he work?

1)Are you ready to say good bye to your life for the next 18 years?
2)What are you going to do when jake leaves you?
3)What are you going to do if your parents kick you out?
4)How are you going to raise a baby, pay bills just working at mcdonalds?


If you know you 2 will be together forever then why not wait and get married after school and then have a baby?
Why are you in a rush to ruin your life?
You do know that you have well into your 40's to have a kid?
You cannot exspect others to watch your kid while your off cheerleading and going to the mall. If your going to have a baby then it is your place to watch that kid not everyone elses.

In time you will see that this is a mistake. I know you think you know it all but you don't little girl. You really need to be worrying about school than changing diapers.

But it is your life and not mine (thank god) so do what you think you got to do but remember your only hurting yourself.

Answer 5

Wow, I really wish this was a joke. But I'm afraid it isn't.

1. You are too young to have a child.
2. You lack the education and emotional maturity required to raise a child.
3. You are trying to trick your boyfriend into becoming a father. He will resent you and the baby, and you will end up a single mother within 2 years, I promise.
4. You will not have the time or money to go to college if you have children first.
5. You are assuming your parents will help you raise the child. This is not fair to them. They alreayd have children and they are still raising them - you are a child.
6. Just because your friends have babies doesn't make it right. Do they say it's easy? Fun? That there's plenty of moeny? I didn't think so.

Please rethink this and start taking the pill again.

Answer 6

No one should have to tell you that you are too young to have children. You already know that you are. You have your whole life ahead of you to think on having a family. You have not yet met the "real" world and the real world is not as easy as you may think. As the same for having a child. Having a child is not the same as babysitting someone elses child. You can not give yours back. It is a really, really big responsibility. There are a lot of worries involved as well as happiness. You will lose a lot of sleep and especially when your child gets sick. That is the worse thing for me, is when my son gets sick. I was like you. I wanted to have a child at 16, but glad that I waited until I was 28, because my thoughts as a 16 year old is very different from that of a 28 year old. I'm 32 years old and even at this age raising a child is not as easy as we may see on TV. Being an adult is making the right decisions and being independent. Well, if you got this far, thanks for reading. As for your question, I would not know. Try searching for it on the Internet. Best wishes to you. One more comment, when you put posts like these on here, even though you do not like answers with rude comments (which I agree with you) expect them. It's all fair play. I hope that you will get helpful comments on here.

Answer 7

I'm sorry, but you really are insane. You've been going out for 6 1/2 WHOLE months? Oooo. Good length of time to say you'll NEVER break up. And you haven't told him!? He doesn't need to know? YES, he DOES need to know. He may not be ready for this step you seem intent on taking, and if you surprise him, he could surprise you back by bolting. He might not share your feelings on the baby issue, and if you trap him, he'll only resent you for it.
"Not only because I am the only one out of my friends who does not have one..."? Good way to throw the "not only" in there, but if you still list it like that, you're wanting a baby because your friends have them. NOT a good reason.
And parents of teenage mothers are rarely excited to hear that their daughter is knocked up, so don't automatically expect a happy reaction them if you actually get pregnant. They usually like the grandbaby once it arrives, but when that news comes out, there's inevitably some less than excited feelings about the turn that their own child's life has taken.

Answer 8

You should never trick a guy into pregnancy. If you really think you are grown up enough for a child, then tell the guy you stopped taking the pill. Otherwise you are acting like an irresponsible teenager. He deserves to have just as much say as you in having a child. And at 16 you really are too young. My first child was conceived our first time. My third child took about 19 months to conceive. So there is no standard time length. And if you have a baby, you'll have to give up cheering during pregnancy. If you fall, you could hurt your baby.

Answer 9

You are not ready to be a "mommy." Someone that was ready to be a mother would consider her partner's feelings, and communicate with him about having a baby. A baby is a life-changing experiance. When other girls are out going to college, and dating, you'll be stuck home changing diapers.

You will no longer be the captain of the cheerleading squad, because you wont be able to jump when 7 mo. pregnant, nevermind doing splits and such.

This question in itself shows you are too immature to handle a baby.

Answer 10

I have noticed, and to be honest it makes me really sick. These young girls are idiots! And a lot of the pregnant ones are too, if you ask me. I understand that sometimes there are special circumstances or whatever, but honestly, use a damm condom! It's very annoying, and TTC is something very serious for people who can financially and emotionally handle it. Not some little teeney bopper with no real job or relationship.

Answer 11

You sound very immature in your post. For one, how long have you two been together? Wait until he marries you, IF ever! Get pregnant? There goes being cheerleader. If you live with your parents, you should tell them. See what they have to say about it. And off the pill and your boyfriend doesn't know? He can say he doesn't want a baby and just up and leave you. Seriously, finish school and grow up first!