how do i live with myself? (part 2)?

Question

my life sucks, i said already... but the people who did answer my other one, my looks do matter to me. if i look this bad, every day, i feel bad. my looks is something i just cant ignore. i get up every morning and look at myself in the mirror and ask myself 'why?'. i like to sing, and act, but its not like ill ever make it. i want to just be pretty, and big. i know, 'dont worry about your looks' but still, its hard. you probably wouldnt know how i feel, because you are probably better looking...

Answer 1

You work on the things that you are able to change. Some things on the outside can be changed, but more things on the inside. People who matter notice the inside more than the outside. I know I do.

Answer 2

My husband does not look like a movie star but every morning he gets up and looks at himself in the mirror and tells the image he sees, "You handsome devil, how could anyone be so good looking?" I always chuckle because he really does act that way too - with confidence. Now he has me looking in the mirror and answering the question, " Who do you see today? A friend who will support and encourage herself or someone who is going to criticize herself and put herself down?"
Also, one of the greatest lessons in life is accepting yourself as you are and being your own best friend. Another is never let other people bother you. I have a medical condition that hampers me in most areas of my life and has brought me some sorrow but I am older now and accept myself as I am. All that is required is that you use what you have to the best of your ability and accept any limitations this places upon you and concentrate on the rest of life. I once taught a child burned over 97% of her body who had lost her fingers and was scarred almost all over her body from 3rd degree burns. She crawled from one letter of the alphabet to the next card I had put on the floor. The last time I saw her was in a picture with her family and she had a wig on and a radiant smile.

Answer 3

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That is the serenity prayer, and I say it many times a day. It is helping me overcome a lot of my issues.


awwwww. I feel your pain. I have suffered my whole life with a low self-esteem issue. Why don't you send me an Email and we can talk more privately on ways to try and bring your self-acceptance up. I am sure you are a beautiful person. You just have to learn to tell yourself that and not worry about other people.

Take Care

Answer 4

Wow! First let me say that I agree with you about looks. They are very important. I think everyone agrees and are unwilling to admit it.

Then let me tell you about the psychological effect of telling yourself you're ugly. My guess is that you're not a raging beauty. Still, everytime you tell yourself you're ugly, the effect it has on your esteem takes you to a lower place and through your own eyes, you are actually getting uglier. I'll bet I could find some beautiful traits in your physical appearance without hesitating.

Everytime you insult yourself, it takes 10 compliments to reverse it. (A psychologist statistic) I don't expect you to love how you look, but you need to dig deeper.

I want you to do 2 things.

1 (If you want to challenge me on the beauty thing) Send me a pic to the e-mail in my profile.

2. Look in the mirror. Say (out loud) "I am beautiful and worthy to be loved". Keep doing that till it's easier to say. Then do it daily.

3. Connect with a friend and let her know how you're feeling. you will be suprised how telling someone can help.

Answer 5

It's amazing how much our physical hygiene and appearance and our spiritual, mental, and emotional health are connected. An otherwise plain-looking person looks amazing with the glow of happiness and desire for life on them. Likewise, a very attractive person can take on a very "dark" look if they aren't doing what's right or feeling well. So my guess is that your lack of happiness for life may be affecting either your desire to take care of yourself physically, which might be affecting your appearance, or your appearance is directly reflecting what's going on internally.

Also, beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. I sincerely believe that people become more attractive when we care about them. Have you ever had the experience where you realized that someone was really good-looking after you got to know and care about that person? As you grew to care more about the person, he/she became more attractive to you. I think this could be happening with you but in the negative direction. Perhaps your low self-esteem is affecting your opinion of your own looks. This happens for many people, you know. Many people nowadays have a skewed view of their own body image, sometimes to the point that they develop serious psychological problems, such as eating disorders. I remember watching a friend of mine stand in front of a full-length mirror and mouth the words to herself: "I'm so fat." She was thin! But she didn't see herself the way that I saw her. You might be seeing yourself in an unrealistic light, too.

I recommend that you speak with people who have a good moral compass and people who can help you with your mental and emotional health. An ecclesiastical leader and/or a psychologist or counselor, for example. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I really wish you good health and happiness. I know you're a worthwhile person and I think you deserve to do what's going to ultimately bring you peace and joy. ((hugs!)) E-mail me if I can answer any questions for you.

(P.S. By the way, I'm not sure that fame is exactly the main goal that you should be going for. Many people who have acclaim find out that it's not as satisfying as they thought it would be... but being a good person is its own reward.)

Answer 6

If you really can't ignore the way you look, and it depresses the hell out of you, you might want to think about dental work and plastic surgery. People say it's shallow, but if it makes people live happier, richer lives, then what could be bad about that? There are even ways to make yourself taller, though I really, really don't recommend them as they are hideously painful. Keep your chin up, and focus on making enough money to make yourself happy.

Answer 7

It is all in your hands. If you wake thinking negatively, you will attract negatively. Not everyone in earth will think of you nicely whether you have the looks or not. Be thankful instead that you have all of your limbs and are able to communicate. I know of little children that certain limbs amputated because of cancer or other reasons. If you wake up loving yourself and how God created you, you will feel better and you will surprised how others will be attracted to you because of your personality. My fiance was in auto accident has many and i mean many facial scars but I love him and to me he is handsome. I would not trade him for anything in this earth. Love yourself and thank God in spite how crazy our society may be.

Answer 8

I do know how it feels. I am NOT better looking. I stopped caring a while back. wish I could say something wise to you to make you feel better about yourself. you want to talk email me i will try and help. Take care

Answer 9

I'll pray that you'll find the true Path so that you'll be happy. This world consist of spiritual, emotional and physical elements. Focus on the first two rather than the physical one.

Answer 10

beauty comes from confidence, if you dont find yourself attractive how is anybody else?... everyone has their moments where they feel ugly, or dont like how they look its not just you so put on something that makes you feel sexy and put on a smile and other people with smile with you