My close friend has a 9yr old who is acting out. He is refusing to go to school, will not help around the house, and beats up on the younger siblings (more than usual!). When he gets mad or something doesn't happen the way he wants he will throw kitchen chairs across the room at people!
He is acting out because he has 3 younger siblings and feels that he is not loved. However the parents have gone so far to make sure that he gets at least 2 hours alone w/o anyone other than his mom and dad. This worked for a week!! Things have gotten worse and worse. They are looking for a system to help punish and reward him. A structured system to try, because now a days you can't spank kids!
What has worked for you? ANy suggestions?
2007-01-05 18:29:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
How do you know that there is something medically wrong with him?
He just started the puberty thing this year and his parents have chalked it all up to "his change". He has even became violent with parents and other family members.
2007-01-05 18:41:41 · update #1
there is a couple things you can do
1) give him a timeout kinda worked for me
2) ban all junk food,candy and make them eat veggies
3) i don't suggest this one but you can pay him candy to be nice that all ways worked on me
4) you can spank him but not to hard though
5) you can try talking to him or yelling depends on you
6)take away what he loves the most
2007-01-06 04:07:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, yes you CAN spank kids. As long as it's not excessive, and is only on the butt, you CAN spank kids. "Spare the rod, spoil the child". Apparently, THAT kid doesn't know who rules the household because his mother and father cater to his tantrums.
Well, I've got an eight, almost nine, year old son, and he would NEVER act that way. He's got a stepfather, a step sister, and a half-sibling on the way. He knows that if he wants attention and we're busy, all he's got to do is come up to either of us, and we'll give it to him. If I'm cleaning the kitchen, my son will come in there to help me, just to chit-chat. He's free to call me at work when I'm on my lunch break. His stepfather takes him to the park to play football.
The kid that you're talking about has another problem, and it's NOT from lack of attention. It's more from lack of discpline. News flash: That positive reinforcement crap doesn't work in this situation. Positive reinforcement works if the kids are pretty good in the first place. This kid is NOT.
His parents need to throw him in a Marine-Military academy for a semester. That'll shape him up REAL quick. They need to quit catering to his tantrums, and start punishing him for them. He's too old to be throwing them, PERIOD. He throws them because he CAN.
2007-01-06 05:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like they screwed up a long time ago and the whole family needs therapy. His behavior is way out of line and the parents behavior is way out of line for allowing the abuse of the younger siblings and for allowing him to act so out of control.
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is a great system, philosophy, plan.
What worked for us was no day care - so there's a real family relationship - breastmilk on demand, holding infants on demand, no hitting, clear expectations, few rules, consistent, swift age-appropriate consequences for violating rules, - the biggie for getting the attention of a child who's not getting it - loss of computer time. Also crucial is us seeking the kids out and asking them to play games, read books, take walks, cook things, do chores etc with us.
2007-01-06 02:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
kids at school might be picking on him and he might have anger problems you might try taking to a mental health center. ask him what is wrong and why hes acting like this.tell him you love him and that you want to help him any way you can but he needs to tell you whats going on so you can help. My son has done some of these things and i got him help and i found out he has bipolor,adhd ptsd and i do know how you feelbut just let him know he is loved when throws these fit hug him and tell him you love him and he will start relaxing
2007-01-06 03:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by ohmysuzie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may have a medical condition such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or be Autistic or some other diagnosable condition that can be treated by either medication or special counseling. Definitely take him to the school counselor or have him tested by a psychologist. It is possible that medication will help. Why would you punish, or reward someone who is doing the best he can, has a reason (in his head) for everything he does and is definitely not trying to cause trouble. He needs help and should have it from a professional...as well as from his parents.
2007-01-06 02:36:07 · answer #5 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well I have a little son and I've been babysitting since I was 12 and this is what to do. Tell them to stop what they're doing. If they dont listen, yell at them telling them not to do it. But if yellin at them dont work, pop them. The fact is that you just have to whoop your kids. I didnt say beat them and bust they nose or somethin Im just sayin. If you dont whoop yo kids they gone run over u watch. Because pain will make you remember what not to do
2007-01-06 13:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by tweety-bird 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother in law hits his kids. Actually all 4 of my brother in laws hit their kids and they straighten up real fast. Well except my 5 year old nephew. He hasn't learned how to behave yet. Of course I'm in Saudi where it's legal to hit your kids if their disrespectful. Since this is USA just take all his things away minus clothes and the bed.
2007-01-06 11:30:30 · answer #7 · answered by robedzombiesoul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
simple TIME OUT it is the only way every time he acts out make him do time out if he gets up put him right back whether its in the store, home or wherever when he refuses to go to school and wont get ready drag him out the door pajamas and all and just bring him to school like that and stick spare clothes in his bag and eventually he will learn. but whatever you do stay consistent and make sure both parents are on the same page not one saying one thing and the other saying another.
2007-01-06 02:36:06 · answer #8 · answered by tiffers 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
from what you describe, I feel that discipline is really not what is needed as much as some family counseling. he sounds like a very angry young man and his parents aren't equipped to deal with such acting out w/o professional help!
2007-01-06 08:42:09 · answer #9 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think if a kid is acting this bad and he is old enough to no better and if he doent have a problem putting hid hands on his little siblings, he shouldnt have a problem having his parents giving him a couple of good knocks around
2007-01-06 09:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by cecilia 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋