akward!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

I am 17 and when i was 15 or 16, i masturbated about my stepdad. He wasn't my stepdad yet but still ..they were engaged. I feel like i have to tell my mom because she is like more of a best friend than a mom and if you have a best friend she would most likely get mad at you for doing that about her boyfriend/husband. People keep telling me that i don't need to tell her. I know it is normal but i feel like i have to tell her and i don't know why. and ever since i have been obsessing over thinking i should tell her, i keep wondering if i would actually ever do something with him which i wouldn't but it's just thoughts since i am obsessing. What do i do? How do i get over it?
I just wonder, if i told her what her reaction would be ..mad or just akward how i feel ..i don't really know if i can picture her getting mad. We have a good relationship like best friends

Answer 1

I think that this is the type of thing that is better left unsaid. If you consider your mom to be like a best friend, then you naturally want to tell her your private thoughts and feelings. You probably feel guilty for the feelings you had/have for your stepdad, and feel compelled to confess to her. But in reality, you have done nothing wrong, and have simply experienced a normal sexual attraction to an older man (is your father a bit of a jerk or not around? This might explain your attraction to your stepdad, psychologically.)

Telling this to your mom will only make both of you feel uncomfortable, and could possibly change your whole family dynamic. You should probably just try to deal with it by realizing that you're not doing anything wrong by being attracted to him, but you should not 'feed the fantasy'. Actively thinking of him in a sexual context will not be healthy for you or your family situation.

Answer 2

wooww! this' really weird but i can tell that you love your mom and want to make sure everything's alright. in the real life, most people dont even talk about this and furthermore, they'd tell you not to tell your mom EVER. I could have told you the same thing except, it wont help you. the way I see it, if you dont tell your mom, you MIGHT one day consider doing something with him if he ever initiate something. but if you tell her and you make it clear that you need HELP, she could look at it as just that and help you monitor or get over it. even with all of this, you are responsible of making sure that you forget about it and NEVER attempt to get with him and that's if you love your mom of course. good luck!