Lost trust in my wife?

Question

I met my wife in Europe and she came over for a month on a visitors visa and stayed with me, due to the immigration laws she had to return until a tempory visa was in place. Our love between us was fantastic but when she returned back after a seven month delay her love is now very distant and I once mentioned if she might have been seeing someone else during our seven months apart. She blushed but never admitted it. I now feel I lost trust in her and even loosing love for her. After two years of marriage Is there such a thing to forget about her past and get on with your life.

Answer 1

I will begin by saying that if she is unwilling to discuss these things with you and be totally honest then I don't think you have a future. Why waste anymore time with someone who doesn't love you back. Marriage is a two way street. Communication is key. You should talk with her about your feelings instead of asking people you don't even know. By posting the question you have basically already made it clear that there is a lack of communication and you feel better asking strangers than your own wife. It sounds like you need to seriously evaluate the issues in your relationship with your wife. Good luck.

Answer 2

Yes, there is such a thing to forget and move on with your life. Look for the answers in the present, not in the past. How is your relationship now? Do you enjoy your marriage? Does she treat you respectfully? Is she caring? Are you two compatible?

If things are good - why dwell on the past? If something is not right - find out what it is, and try to fix it. There's no need to look to the past to address the problems you have in the present.

Answer 3

Wow. Imma different kind of chick. I actually allow my hubby to watch porn when I'm too tired for relations. Its not like your actually touching these women. Don't get me wrong I don't LIKE him watching it but im 5 mos pregnant and I have no sex drive at the moment so I let him have his harmless fun. Relationships are about trust, communication and compromise. My hubby tells me he likes butts and sometimes I catch him glancing at other woman but I don't trip because I trust him and I look at other men too. Explain to her why you watch them. If she still wants to leave then maybe its time to put the movies away and work on your marriage because to me leaving your spouse over a little porn is petty. Now if its alotta porn your watching and your having regular relations with your wife then I would also see a huge problem in you watching porn. If your addicted to porn I would suggest you get help because theres only so much a woman can take. Why was your porn watching a secret? Communicate with her. Maybe you have some fantasies that you should tell her about. I hope you guys work it out.

Answer 4

You're a total loser, she's only shut off showing love to you cause you're a white man, and she knows damn well you're going to let her down and leave her there. YOu let her go back in the first place didn't you? She is only preparing for when you break her heart. It's called self-defense. She only blushed when you mentioned another man because it said to her that you think she is desirable enough for another man to want her, and was pleased and embarrassed by this. She's not doing anything wrong, but you need a shot in the head for causing her mental anguish by your childish display of insecurity. Get a life, dork. You're not the only one in this relationship, and she has a hell of lot more to lose than YOU DO. RIGHT???? PLUS, why haven't YOU done YOUR job by bringing your WIFE to your own country, instead of leaving her there like a dirty secret you only bring out of hiding when YOU feel like it? I hope she leaves you.

Answer 5

Well only if you are gonna divorce her and then move on with your life. I mean If you can't trust her and the love is fading from her side, all you can do is let her go and if she comes back then its meant to be. But why force her to be with you when she's gonna be unhappy. If you do love her leet her go back to Europe ..maybe you'll then find someone you can totally 100% trust again.

Answer 6

u sure she just isn't with you for a greencard? i know people that have done that. anyways. i don't think there is any way to get the trust back. the same thing happened with me and my ex when i found out things he had been doing behind my back. even after he had long forgot about it i never could. the last straw was when..1 year after the fact...i found additional info that he had been hiding from me...just when i was starting to forget and trust him again.

Answer 7

I don't know...if you really want though, you can forget about it and understand that she is in the United States of America now far away from any possible person she MAY have been seeing. You don't even know for sure. Give it more time.

Answer 8

Well, the best I can say is that the reason you have lost trust in her is that you think she might be lying to you. If you think she is then it is best that you suggest going your seperate ways. Expecially if it seems like she doesn't want to be there. Maybe she feels a certain way and it is different from what you are feeling.

Answer 9

Let her know that your unhappyness is based on dishonesty and not jealousy. U cannot force her to tell u anything, but as an upset husband, you can definatly tell her how you feel and open a concrete line of communication.

Answer 10

There is no getting past a liar that never admits they lied, and never apologizes for lying to you.

If she was with someone else and lied to you about it, you deserve better, and will find better with no problem at all.

Find out for sure, even if that means hiring a PI. Because you will never be able to build a life with her if you don't trust her.