anyways, today I hear that she's expecting her father to talk to me, she's not blaming him at all, but she wants an apology from me for not opening her gifts, she thinks that I should of handled things differently.. she emailed this to her father and I read it! She said, I know you said that Shania and you are not gettting along 'LIES' and that she needs to apologize to me. What the hell? Did she not hear what I said that morning that her father was verbally calling me down, VERBAL ABUSE!! ?? And I need to apologize to her??? over my dead body. HE NEEDS TO APOLOGIZE to me before anything. And he's acting like he don't remember..
Please, how would you handle this??? he's pretending he don't know what happend, or he's really that stupid?
2007-01-05 17:19:45 · 17 answers · asked by Jas 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WHY ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE BLAMING HER?????? THE DAUGHTER IS 26 YEARS OLD--SHE IS NOT A CHILD!!! DIDN'T YOU READ THAT PART? THE BOYFRIEND IS THE ABUSER--HELLO PEOPLE--DON'T BLAME THE VICTIM!!!
2007-01-05 17:36:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
Ok here is my answers:
1) Nobody, except nobody, recognizes an abuser faster than someone who's been abused. I agree with you that if you feel that he's being abusive, you have every right to take off and not deal with it. I don't care what anyone says.
On the other hand, why ruin Christmas for everybody. You coulda sat down, plastered on a smile and opened gifts, and later beaned him with a skillet.
On that account, you may owe the family an apology for taking off and "causing drama" even though he did it, and skewering everyone else's Christmas.
Apologize to the daughter (she didn't do anything) and anyone else, and put the husband on the rack and set him straight now about the verbal abuse. Tell him how serious you are about it. If he acts like he can't hear you, you know you have to leave. He won't change.
Good luck.
2007-01-05 17:27:30 · answer #2 · answered by Ade 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I'm not following the whole story, but what it sounds like to me is that you are overly sensitive on the verbal abuse issue, I'm not saying he didn't to it, but the fact that you FREAKED OUT and acted like a 16 year old, infront of your stepdaughter, stomped out of the house and then was rude to her about not opening her gifts. WOMAN, you gonna make everyone pay,?you have to be right? it's OK for you to scream or yell, or get freaky, but nobody else is allowed to? Stop being the victim and grow up. Yes, you owe the daughter an apology for dragging her into the middle of it, at least your husband kept it in the bedroom.
2007-01-05 17:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Pretty typical!
Take it out on the most defenseless person in the room.
YOu really take the cake because you missed the fact that the daughter was trying to comfort you by saying calm down.
If you act like you stated his 'verbal abuse' is probably a reaction rather than a first strike
GEEZ, it was Christmas! Couldnt the two of you act like adults for a few days
for the sake of his kid?
2007-01-05 17:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by lisa s 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
This is unreal.
How could you treat someone so badly when they were trying to help you.
THen to do it on Christmas.
YOu should be begging his daughter for forgiveness.
She could have very easily let you walk out the door and taken (you have probably done this several times before) and taken your gift back to the store.
Instead she wanted to change the mood and possibly make you smile with the gift that she brought for you.
I dont understand the question here.
But drama people like you never admit that THEY were wrong it is always the rest of the world that victimized them.
WHEN HE DIVORCES YOU please stay single!
2007-01-05 17:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by karen g 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are name calling which is also verbal abuse, so how does that make things any better??.
I am sorry that you had to deal with that in your past, but I don't blame his daughter for being upset. You tried hurting him through her, and that was childish. And she does deserve an apology.
You don't say what it was he said to you, maybe because of your past you are more vulnerable to what people say??
If he is a liar and "stupid" (your words) then why stay with him?
2007-01-05 17:29:01 · answer #6 · answered by slpkwp 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well I'm not sure in your current state of rage if you will even pay attention to the advice people are giving but here goes
first off good for you for getting out of an abusive marriage..
however you shouldn't hold your current husband to account for something your ex did!!
you and your husband need to talk and tell him that the name calling that was exchanged between the two of you really hurt and upset you...both of you need to apologize to one another!!
and yes you need to apologize to your stepdaughter...she was not the one involved in your arguement and you pushed her and her gifts aside like they didnt even matter to you...
2007-01-05 17:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by mother of teenagers 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
SHE IS RIGHT
she is a child and you are SUPPOSED to be the adult.
If she was mad at HER boyfriend wouldnt you be pissed if she came home and started shouting at YOU if you were just trying to make her feel better.
SHe wanted you to open the gift that she bought for you.
COuldn't you have been the adult about it and opened it.
FUNNY how the guy that caused you to have your melt down is okay to talk to by you but the innocent victim of your tirade is not.
NOT TO WORRY, he will be leaving you soon.
NOBODY would treat MY child like that and call me their spouse!
2007-01-05 17:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 9⤊ 1⤋
you need to chill the heck out. she maybe 26, but if your married to her father then you need to be the adult here. if you dont like the way he talks to you then leave. nobody is stopping you. VERBAL ABUSE VERBAL ABUSE isnt making people pity you anymore. you have 2 legs...walk out!
2007-01-05 17:33:17 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ALL of this tension between your step daughter and you is YOUR fault.
Why is your apology to her contingent upon his apology to you.
the two things are not related.
Ideally, he would apologize to his daughter for getting you upset, but you should be woman enough to admit your part in this
by any way you slice it, the step daughter was innocent in ALL OF THIS!
2007-01-05 17:26:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you are looking to deep into this argument, people call each other names all the time, most the time it is just to hurt each other, remind him waht he said and ask if he is sorry.
Didn't take you long to start calling him stupid? Pretty sure you don't need it, but your temper is boiling
2007-01-05 17:23:16 · answer #11 · answered by trincanniere 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋