12 years ago I was married a long time to a verbally and emotionally husband. I opened my eyes so to speak, and divorced him. After a long 10 year divorce before I seeked another relationship..lots of counceling I met another love. Moved in with him 2 years ago. He verbally abused me Dec 23 rd in the morning, I came out of the bedroom just steamed about it, his daughter was here, she was waiting for us to open gifts. While he sat at the kitchen table acting innocent, I freaked out that he verbally abused me, and I needed to get out of the house NOW, so I took off for the day to my daughters house. But while I was getting ready to go out, his daughter 'who is 26' said that I need to calm down. What the hell? here I'm freaking out cause of the names I was called, and called down, and she's telling me I need to calm down? I don't think so! I came back later in the day, and his daughter asked me if I will then open her gifts. I said no, I didn't feel like it, I'm sick. Well today I hear
2007-01-05 17:14:42 · 23 answers · asked by Jas 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You had a right to be upset. You have lived as an abused person and you obviously don't plan to again. You should have a long talk with your partner how you will not live like that and he won't get away with it, PERIOD. It would have been nice if you could have opened gifts when you came back. But if you were that upset, then that is the way it is. No one should have to live with verbal and emotional abuse, stand your ground. Good Luck.
2007-01-05 17:21:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are picking the wrong guys. You need to get some therapy on being a codependent. Since this was not the first time he verbally abused you, I think you waited for the right time to blast him, right in front of his daughter. You went back that day, and today you are probably still with him. Either get out of the marriage and away from the abuse or ask him to get some help. You have the power to say it is NOT ok, and obviously, you have the power to walk away. Why stay? Before you get into another one, ask yourself why you get into those relationships.
2007-01-05 17:20:54 · answer #2 · answered by lucy7 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From experience of my own, being verbally abused never leaves you. It remains in your head forever so even if someone said something to you..Your mind hears something worse. Is it possible you are over reacting? This new guy may not realize how much it has affected you. You need to explain you can not handle the stress of being yelled at and next time if emotions flare up..try having a stand down waiting period of 6 hours before you discuss the situation so everyone is calm.
2007-01-05 17:20:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
please do not mind - but i guess you do not realise what relationships are.
relationships are where you get so close to the person that sometime you find it your right to scold the person and have stupid fights which end up with a nice romantic patch up.
you have a nice step daughter too - who seems to be pretty wise and understanding.
fights are normal in a relationship ---- it keeps the balance and to understand each other.
moreover - what was your step daughters mistake that you neglected her?you are her mom anyways.
if you keep behaving like that i can guarantee you will never end up in a good one.
one more thing ---- a lot of people would give you their ideas ( a lot of negative ones) - but i think its better if you think +vely.
a house is made by rebuilding broken things or making it better (you dont buy a new house if the door is broken)and when you apply the same ideology to relationships - this house becomes home - sweet home.
2007-01-05 17:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by i don know y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That does not sound good. I know when my husband sees that I am hurting he hounds me to figure it out. When I was a child my Dad did the same thing to me, verbally and emotionally and physical abused me and my siblings. And when my husband gets upset about something I have flashbacks.
I'm sure that your husband loves you. And if he doesn't, he is a fool and he should have his head examined. I would talk with him. Tell him how you feel. I know it hurts to be called names. Especially from someone you love. Tell him if you already haven't that you did not appreciate it.
Good Luck, I hate to see people getting hurt!
2007-01-05 17:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have an attraction for some reason to abusive men. That is the real issue.
You should seek counseling and research that question, and the need for you to run to these type of men only to find yourself running from them time and time again.
You deserve better. Make your New Years resolution to find a better mate, so that by next Christmas you can give yourself the gift of respect.
2007-01-05 17:23:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your carring a little emotional scarring still from you past relasionship, his daughter does'nt know you past and what happened, so from her perspective your overreacting. I'm sorry about the abuse, it can really F u up mentally for long periods of time. You must explain to your husband, the current one how much it hurts when someone says stuff like that to you. Hopefully in the future, he will think a little more before he speaks.
2007-01-05 17:20:32 · answer #7 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you could have solved the prob in a better and nicer way. you freaked out way too far.. thats what i think.
but i do understand u bec u have been traumatized by ur past experience. but if i were u, i would seek profesional help bec i think u over reacted and acted like a total freak, making her daughter calm u down. and when u came back later, u were still aggravated by what happen? u gotta seek professional help while its early.
2007-01-05 17:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by The Punisher 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IF HE VERBALLY OR OTHERWISE ABUSED YOU ONCE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT--HE WILL DO IT AGAIN--BEEN THERE, DONE THAT-HIS DAUGHTER SHOULD OF MINDED HER OWN BUSINESS--I AM ASSUMING YOUR NEW LOVE KNOWS ABOUT YOUR PAST ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR EX HUSBAND. SOME MEN, PICK WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN IN PREVIOUS ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS ON PURPOSE AND THEN THEY START ABUSING THEM--VERBALLY, EMOTIONALLY AT FIRST, THEN IT ESCALATES FROM THERE IF THEY GET AWAY WITH. THEY DO THIS TO SEE IF YOU WILL STAY WITH THEM ALONG TIME LIKE YOU DID B4 -AND OH YEAH, THEY ARE ALWAYS SORRY AFTERWARD AND IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. SOUND FAMILIAR???
2007-01-05 17:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have known my wife 17 yrs and been married 15 yrs and it will 16 in april. I have never called her any names because I respect her...If a man respects the lady he is with he will not make fun of her or call her names...A relationship because with respect and trust and communitation...It sounds like you have had none in the 2 you have had...if he treats you that bad...it's time to move on...
2007-01-05 17:25:40 · answer #10 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋