12 years ago I was married a long time to a verbally and emotionally husband. I opened my eyes so to speak, and divorced him. After a long 10 year divorce before I seeked another relationship..lots of counceling I met another love. Moved in with him 2 years ago. He verbally abused me Dec 23 rd in the morning, I came out of the bedroom just steamed about it, his daughter was here, she was waiting for us to open gifts. While he sat at the kitchen table acting innocent, I freaked out that he verbally abused me, and I needed to get out of the house NOW, so I took off for the day to my daughters house. But while I was getting ready to go out, his daughter 'who is 26' said that I need to calm down. What the hell? here I'm freaking out cause of the names I was called, and called down, and she's telling me I need to calm down? I don't think so! I came back later in the day, and his daughter asked me if I will then open her gifts. I said no, I didn't feel like it, I'm sick. Well today I hear
2007-01-05 17:12:39 · 11 answers · asked by Jas 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to sit down and write a long letter to you husband explaining exactly what he did wrong and why it bothered you so much. His daughter really didn't have any idea what was going on and unless she was aware of the sensitivity you would have to any abuse given your past history she is completely innocent. I think that what you need is some couples counselling to deal with the problems that you are having with this husband and how your baggage from your previous marriage may be affecting your present situation. However I also believe that abuse in any form is wrong and your husband really needs to come to terms with why he feels the need to treat you in this manner. You must tell him that this is completely unacceptable and this is the reason that you were so upset. Just because it is Christmas it doesn't give him licence to treat you or any other person in this manner. I urge you to find a good therapist as well that you can work with on your own issues of anger and trust. Many women who survive such a relationship may feel that they are fine but in fact suffer from Post traumatic stress syndrome. You need to identify is this is the case with you and to deal with it properly. Good luck to you and I hope this all works out for you. God bless.
2007-01-05 17:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all if you were not shacked up with this guy you wouldn't be in this fix. Second of all I don't see why latter you didn't just "make nice" and open the silly present. Stop being such a drama queen. I think you are being overly sensitive since is the first word that he has said in two years.
2007-01-06 01:18:35 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Its very possible you're still extremely sensitive about this stuff, as a result of your ex-husband. Talk to your husband about this issue, and how horrible it made you feel. I'm sure talking will remind him how sensitive you are, and that he needs to be more careful. Good luck!
2007-01-06 01:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by Flagstones925 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so lets see... you got yelled at for the first time in 2 years.......... seems like he is a pretty patient person to me .. sounds like his daughter was trying to be nice and doing exactly what she should have done.. praise to her.. u should start being thankful that there are people out there that care about you.. and not flip a lid and think your life is terrible because you got into an argument.
2007-01-06 01:20:43 · answer #4 · answered by foxmulder65 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you need to repost this.. shorter version and more clear.. we can not make a good judgment with so little and washy information... stick to the facts........ God bless
such as... married 12 years, abusive.. divorced for 10.. found another man who I thought was my soul mate.. morn. of Dec. 23 he called me names, etc. I felt I had to get out of house for a while... when I came back etc.....and what did you hear today ??? then ask your question ???
2007-01-06 01:23:47 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
people shout when tempers run high, very few mean to do it, ask him if he purposly shouted or did he jsut say hurtfull things in the spur of the moment.
and don't take it to heart, someone that doesn't shout or get upset with you is someone that doesn't love you, but obviously he cares why would he bother to argue if he doesn't?
2007-01-06 01:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by trincanniere 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow,
It is my opinion that you owe the daughter an apology.
It is not her fault that her dad is a jerk.
She wanted to help make YOUR xmas a bit more special.
I would have wanted you to open a gift that I had given to you too.
Shame on you for taking it out on her.
TRY BEING THE ADULT and realize when a child is trying to reach out to you!
THanks for ruining her xmas too!
2007-01-06 01:17:02 · answer #7 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
name calling can not be fun to go through. just out of the clear blue sky...he was just popping off bad names? i too ...think maybe you over reacted to the daughter anyway , it wasn't her fault.
2007-01-06 01:17:06 · answer #8 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
a verbally and emotionally what? abusive impaired...etc
2007-01-06 01:24:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Holy man, your over reacting, everyone gets yelled at every now and then, quit freakin.
2007-01-06 01:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by xeraphile 3 · 4⤊ 4⤋